Let Go Let God (LGLG)
http://www.dailyword.com/topics/letgoletgod.html Well, I decided to start a new thread as I want to concentrate on myself and our kids.
Here are my previous threads
First second third fourth Some of things I have been doing lately:
I’m still on pace to finish the Bible in 90 days and completed my second week of training to reach 100 pushups. Still walking almost everyday and sometimes with friends; Bike riding a couple of time a week and lifting weights again at the gym in my building at work.
Enjoying the weather we are having in the Midwest lately and going to my son's baseball games. When I do encounter my WAW, I am pleasant and she usually is very nice, which makes me miss her but I have laid her at the cross and am moving forward with my life. I do pray for her everyday and for the restoration of my marriage which I have left in the Lord’s hands.
Work has been crazy but I’m more involved with different opportunities and facilitating meetings and leading projects. My boss is even giving my 2 days off in July (don't have to use vacation or personal time) for all my work in June!!
In addition, I am the webmaster for our local little league (my kids are done) but I still like to volunteer with this organization. Now, is the busy time as all-stars are gearing up.
Today, I did a 15+ mile bike ride and my pushup routine. While on my bike ride I realized how at peace I was and generally happy being home with my kids.
This afternoon my parents and I are taking S13 to the movies to see "Up" and S15 is hanging out with his friends. He is not interested in seeing this movie. Well, time to get ready...post more later
awesome ppenton.. I need to find some cycling buddies I think..
Drew
Way to go ppenton.
I needed to read your thread tonight.
Up was an awesome movie, but prepare to cry. It really is not a children's movie. It's just dressed up as one. You will come away from it with your body feeling as if you lifted rocks for days, but so very worth it.
Thanks everyone
After the movie, which BTW is awesome (yes cry and laugh lots), we came home and ordered pizza. Then my parents went home and the kids I are trying a new dessert recipe for tomorrow's BBQ. Its called "Layers of Love Chocolate Brownies" with caramel, semi-sweet and white morsels...yummm
After that comes out of the oven, I'm going for a walk with a friend then stopping at the local pub for a cold one for another friend who is in from out of town.
Hope everyone has a safe and fun Independence day!!!
Up was a great movie. But, I did get pretty choked up and nearly lost it in the beginning when the W passes away.
Lucky, for me S13 warned me as he has seen the movie a couple of times now. The hard part for me was watching the couple grow old together as that is what W & I would talk about all the time how we could not wait to be grandparents and grow old together
Yep, that's what I meant. The old couple growing old together, then the wife dying. Sort of like something I thought I had. Maybe still will.
This morning watched our local the parade and then did a bike ride. W took S15 out for breakfast S13 didn't want to go. Cleaned the basement a little and then we are heading over to my parents for a BBQ.
Happy 4th of July!!!
The fireworks last night were awesome! S15, his girlfriend, S13 and my parents went to a park near my parent's house to watch them last night.
Today had to work most of the day but at least it was from home. Then S13 & I watched a movie and eat dinner. S15 is sleeping over at a friend's house. After dinner S13 went to a friend's house so I went on a long walk. It was a great weekend, I love having my kids home with me!!!
The reason had to work over the weekend is they powered down our data center and did electrical work which means every machine/computer/phones, etc was turned off. Then had to be turned back on on Sunday and we had to make sure everything was up and running before today's business. It went fairly smooth and even today was not bad.
I'm have a good day with some moments of missing W but overall pretty good. S15 went with a friend to Six Flags and S13 and I hung out tonight.
Went to lunch with a friend from work and had a really nice time talking and laughing. We sat outside as the weather was very nice today.
Today, S15 team beat a good school 2-0, he only batted once and got a walk. W went and kept me posted about the score and anything S15 did at the game. I'll be working a half day on Thursday to make it to his double header. After the game my parents came over with some dinner and after we ate, we did some cleaning. Then I went for a walk and S15 girlfriend came over and we talked about the passing of MJ.
Then I updated the little league web site and S13 is playing XBOX. Now, watching the Sox win and doing laundry and relaxing...
Went to lunch with another co-worker today and enjoyed the nice weather again. Left work early to attend S15's game this afternoon. They won, he pitched the last 3 innings and got the "save"
We ordered pizza as S15 had a couple of friends over for dinner. After dinner S15 went to his friend's house and S13 and I went on a walk. Now I'm baking for tomorrow nights group session and making plans with some buddies for Saturday night.
This morning, W went to get a mammogram & ultra-sound as she found a lump under her left arm. The doctor who read the results was not too concerned as the spot where the lump is located is in the muscle and not her breast - Thank God. She needs to follow up with her doctor if it does not get better in a week or two. It was hard not being with her this morning, and not able comfort her but at least we got to talk and I told her I was praying for her.
Work was better today, not so many meetings and was able to get things done that I have wanted to work on all week. After work, lifted weights in the gym in my building and walked on treadmill. Then ate and went to the group support meeting and the topic was forgiveness, we watched parts of "The Power of Forgiveness" (2007) and had a lively discussion afterward.
W brought S13 something to eat around 9:30pm (she knew I would be out late after work) and S15 is still at his buddy's house as he's staying over again tonight.
Anyway, still on track with my goals this summer (reading/push-ups) and lookign forward to a weekend without work
Will definitely be biking riding!!
Today, after the rain storm and working for a few hours, went on a long bike ride at least 25 miles. S15 was still at his buddy's house then he came home to go to my brother's house to mow his lawn. S13 went golfing with my MIL for the day and then they had lunch together. Next, I went to a fest in neighboring town to eat and watch a CCR tribute band. They were very good. Tonight S15 is at another friends house to watch PPV of the ultimate fighting and S13 is at a friends house. Now I'm home doing laundry and reading threads...waiting for the kids to come home
Today, was a beautiful day. Took the kids to church and then picked up S15's girlfriend and went to my parents for the afternoon. We cooked out and played some games and watched some Harry Potter movies. On way home took S15/girlfriend to her mom's house and S13 left to go out to Wis. with a friend of his from MO.
So, I baked come cupcakes for work, I wanted to bring in some for the staff who helped me complete my last project. Then went on a walk and now will go pick up S15 and get ready for the work week.
W has not been around much lately nor contacting the kids much, strange but its her loss.
I like how you post about what you have been up to. It's refreshing that you didn't really post much of anything about your wife. You are doing well to keep the focus on you and the kids. I guess you are the only responsible parent. Good for you.
I like how you post about what you have been up to. It's refreshing that you didn't really post much of anything about your wife. You are doing well to keep the focus on you and the kids. I guess you are the only responsible parent. Good for you.
Thanks Phoenixdeux, I figured I don't need to bash W on here or anywhere else as she is really not around much for the kids and it’s her loss. I think she should be there more for them but it’s my opinion. Anyway, I’m happy to be home with my boys and spending as much time with them as teenagers will accommodate. I do get a lot of hugs and “love yous” from them which is priceless and I would not trade for anything. Today, work is not too crazy and I got to clean my desk as it was very messy from the last few projects. Tonight our little league has teams playing in all-stars and I maintain the web site so I need to stop by some games to get results and scores.
Today, more productive day at work.
S15 pitched the first game of a double header, gave up 0 runs and only 1 hit as they won 10-0, at the plate he reached on error and had two walks with 1 rbi
W went to the game and kept me updated with S15's stats.
S13 still out of town and having fun.
Getting ready to leave work and go exercise and then make dinner for me and S15.
Well, my parents surprised me & S15 by bringing dinner over
S15 went out to buy his girlfriend a birthday present, she turns 16 next week; after that he went out with some friends to the movies. My parents and I watched the pre-game stuff for the all-star game. After they left I went on a bike ride and then ended up at my brother's house to watch the rest of the game and got to see the AL win again
Today was a good day. Work went well, my projects are starting to gain some steam and are moving along. After work, lifted weights and did my 100 push-up routine. Came home and walked to my brothers house for dinner. My parents picked up S15 and his girlfriend and we had a good time talking and eating. Then I walked home and my parents dropped the kids off at girlfriends house. I will go in a few minutes to pick up S15. S13 spent the day with his friend from out of town, then came home late last night.
W did not make it to S15's game but did bring him lunch today. She also folded some laundry I hadn't done yet.
Still going along, work is good, kids are great, still working out...reading the Bible daily and just enjoying the summer.
Tonight the 12 yr old girls from our little league won their first sectional all-star game 3-2. They were down to their last out when they scored 2 runs to take the lead and get the victory! they play again tomorrow at noon. So, tomorrow I plan on bike riding in the morning then head over to our little league field to watch the game.
S15's girlfriend's 16 birthday dinner is tonight, they along with about 15 other kids went to downtown Chicago for dinner. Waiting for him to call to pick them up from the train station.
While I was on my walk tonight I happened to go past where OM & W are living and saw them kissing in the street...
I was about a block and half away but still could see them...ugh Will be praying lots tonight.
Anger and Love have no limits; choose the latter to have a beautiful, lovely life...... Things are to be used and people are to be loved.
But the problem in today's world is that, People are used and things are loved... During this year, let's be careful to keep this thought in mind:
Things are to be used, but People are to be loved ... Be yourself....This is the only day we HAVE.
Have a nice day
This morning, met a friend for a bike ride and had a good time.
S15 went golfing with MIL and said he had fun.
I went to watch the 12 yr old all-star girls pull out another victory today for our little league
Now, I'm baking cookies for my brother and SIL's baby shower which is tomorrow. It should be a fun day, she is due in September and we are looking forward to a baby in the family.
Then, going to church and dinner with my parents. After that, some friends are coming over and we are going to the pub crawl in my town. Should be fun even though the odds of seeing W & OM are very high.
Took a walk this morning, then went to the baby shower and helped setup and had a lot of fun. Spent time with family and friends (not all of them know my sitch) and it was nice being around them. Then I helped them clean up and bring the gifts back to their house. Spent the evening with S13 as S15 was at a friend's house.
Update: S15's high school played in the state tournament this week and was knocked out today in the semi-finals
They finished the summer season 19-3. He got to pitch 2 innings on Monday (we was the only junior to pitch this week), had 3Ks and gave up 0 runs
Work has been going fairly well, been busy but distracted thinking about W at times and missing her. However, the nights have been busy as S13 and I have been playing 1 vs 100 on XBOX and its been a lot of fun
Did get in a quick walk today, now that baseball is over for the summer will get back to exercising regularly again. Still reading the Bible and actually enjoying it. Need to go pick up S15 from his girlfriend's mom's house. Her parents D when she was 10.
Well, today was a good day. Work was productive. Stopped at store to pick up Nintendo DS Lite for S13 as he saved up for the game system and I bought him Super Mario Brothers. It took 3 hours to charge and now he has been playing for about an hour and keeps laughing and telling me how much he loves me. He finally beat World 2
S15 is spending the night at a buddy's house and he took the XBOX system over there. W took both kids out to lunch today.
I baked brownies tonight for my support group meeting tomorrow. I'm taking tomorrow and Monday off from work as my boss gave me a couple of days to use (not vacation) for all the night time work I did in June and working over July 4th weekend. I'm planing on bike riding tomorrow and see what else comes up until my meeting.
Last night's group meeting was very good, some new people showed up and we watched "The Secret". Very interesting concepts, lots of which I have read in the Bible, DR and on this very board
Today, kids have plans most of the day, so I'll bike ride with a friend. Then going to a vision workshop this afternoon.
What a fantastic day, praise the Lord!
The bike ride I did this morning really put me in a terrific mood and I feel at peace and am looking forward to the vision board class I will attend later today. Hope everyone is having a great weekend.
Another great day as I was off work again. Went to church, took a bike ride then took the kids plus friends to miniature golf. I won
We came home and ate dinner. S15 went to a friends house S13 is playing online with his friends. I took a walk and next will work on my vision board and then S13 and I will play 1 vs. 100 on XBOX.
Having fun with my kids is priceless
Having fun with my kids is priceless
They make the world go round.
Having fun with my kids is priceless
They make the world go round.
They sure do
Today, typical day at the office. Did go to lunch with a buddy. Came home and made dinner and took a walk. Then just hung out with S13 and did some reading....relaxing day
The good I imagine is becoming reality. One way I pray is to use my imagination to envision good. I imagine and affirm the highest and best for all people and for all of life. I realize that the highest good is beyond description or definition. However, I can imagine hearing good news from people around the world--news of peace where there had been conflict, healing where there had been pain, prosperity where there had been seeming lack. I imagine people treating one another with respect and love. I imagine the fullness of life and abundance for all. I picture all forms of life on earth coexisting in balance and order. The good I imagine is becoming reality.
"Blessed are your eyes, for they see, and your ears, for they hear."--Matthew 13:16
worked a half day today, came home and took a long bike ride. Made dinner for me and the boys. Now, working a little as I need to catch up on somethings and will be off tomorrow. Will go for a walk later with a friend.
Journaling:
W and I met to discuss our R and the informal separation agreement we drew up in January, per this agreement we agreed to meet on Aug 1st. I started by telling her what is happening at my work: we could have another layoff, no raises for 2010, we could be moving locations again, may cut some benefits, etc. W told me she is looking for a job as she is not happy working at the school for little pay. It would help us financial if she made more money. Then she went on to say how upset she was that the kids did not acknowledge her birthday this past June, and I told her they are still upset over what has happened to our family. She was crying and I did hold her hand a couple of times to help calm her down. So, I asked her, tell me how are things with you and OM? She said ok, sometimes they are good and sometimes they are not and she is sad. She said she really misses the kids (did not say she missed me). I told her it is very hard on everyone and I did let her know that I miss her. She said she knew and was not sure what she wanted except she does not want a divorce. She wants to continue with our separation which I agreed to and we will meet again on Nov 1st. (I’m still praying for her daily). She is having a very difficult time and says she is tired all the time. She has stopped seeing her IC but still goes to her psychiatrist every 6 wks. One reason she stopped the IC is cause of the cost. I told her about the trip I’m planning with the boys at the end of the month and she thought it was a good idea. We discussed finances and I told her how my family was doing and she does miss seeing them. Then we talked about some general things that are happening in the kid’s schools and the neighborhood. She gave me 2 big hugs when she left and had tears in her eyes.
I’m happy she is not rushing to get a D as I told her when she left that she needs to think things through cause she was moving so fast at the time. I will continue to pray for her and our family and will keep working on me, so I’m going for a bike ride as its beautiful outside and I’m so glad I took a vacation day today!!
Last night, picked up S15's girlfriend from the airport. She was on vacation with her family but missed her boyfriend
, so we went and got her. She even brought me home a souvenir, she bought my a left handed wooden spoon, cause she knows how much I love to bake
Today, took a walk around the zoo to do some thinking, its was very peaceful and relaxing. Baked a cake from my new cookbook as we are celebrating my brother's birthday today. There is a bunch of us going to Medieval Times which should be a lot of fun
Yesterday, went to my first "Eucharistic Adoration" and had a wonder experience. I will definitely go more often now that I know about this practice.
Tomorrow night going to the White Sox game with my brother and some friends. Thursday going out after work with some co-workers for a drink or two. Now, going to pick up S15 from girlsfriend's house. Did watch the Sox win tonight in the 9th inning!!
Received, sad news this morning, a friend of mine and W’s passed away last night. She was 44 and left behind a husband and 2 teenage children. My prayers go to out to their family.
Just got home from the Sox game and they beat the Angels (6-2) and we got to see 3 home runs
My sons ended up going too as my MIL had some tickets for them so we all had fun together. My MIL did not invite W as she is still mad with her.
Well, need to get some sleep...long day tomorrow with work and party afterwards.
A friend of W's and mine passed away on Wednesday.
She lost her battle with cancer. She was 43, married and left 2 teenagers behind. It does put things in perspective as I realize my issues could be much worse. I have been praying for them for months as they prepare for this inevitable transition which occurred without their input.
My W asked me if I would want to go together to the Memorial Gathering next Friday? I told her that I would think about it and see how work was going.
I’m definitely going just surprised she wanted to go with me…..then I’ll leave from there and go to my support group meeting. I’m thinking of baking cookies for both events.
Today was an awesome day. Took my boys and 4 of their friends to Six Flags
and even though it rained this morning then turned very hot, it was a great day. Everyone had fun and I even went a few new roller coasters which I really enjoyed.
Now we are all beat and ready for bed.
So, glad I took a vacation day Monday as I think it may take a day or two to rest my feet
As I was walking up to the corner drug store my W pulled up in her OM's car. Kind of weird but we walked in together and talked for a few minutes. I her told all the fun we had at Six Flags and she told me about her weekend. Then I told her how good she looked and she said she didn't think she did. I asked how she was doing and she said trying to get better each day. She asked me how I was doing and I smiled and said good. Then we hugged. God I miss her so much
Well, tonight was better as my kids had friends over and they had lots of fun laughing and hanging out. I paid bills and watched some TV and relaxed, feet still a little sore from yesterday
Quick update:
Had the day off on Monday, so went to church, took a long bike ride then planned a road trip for me and the boys. We are going to drive to Canton, OH to visit the Football Hall of Fame, then up to Cleveland to the Rock N Roll museum, then spend 3 days at Cedar Point. Should be a lot of fun and we all are looking forward to it. We leave on Aug 21 and come home Aug 25.
Tuesday: went to IC (now going about ever 6 wks) and it was another great meeting. He is very helpful and likes the progress I'm still making.
Wednesday: after work, worked out, then walked to my brother's house for dinner, then came home and baked cookies.
After work today went to the memorial for our friend/neighbor. Very heartbreaking seeing her kids trying to be so brave as I know they must be hurtin.
Tonight, went to the divorce/separated support group and the topic was happiness. I brought chocolate chip cookies which everyone loved
In addition, I finally got another one of my friend/neighbor to go to the meeting and she said it is very helpful and she may start coming to them regularly.
Very tired, need to get to bed as I need to take S15 to school tomorrow at 6:30 then doing a 5K walk at 8:00.
The 5K my neighbor friend and I did this morning was a fund raiser for "Stop Domestic Violence" and there were about 100 or so people. This was the 3rd year they have done it and it is growing each year. Hopefully, next year it will get bigger
After I got home the kids were out with their friends so I rode my bike to the zoo and walked around for about an hour. I have been in a good mood all day
Now, going shopping for our trip - we all need new swim trunks....
Quick update:
Had the day off on Monday again
, it was my oldest son's 16th birthday!!
In the morning, took him to school for football practice (he's not playing this year but is working with the trainers) then went to church, took a long walk and then S13 came home (he was staying at a friend's house for a few days)
W and I planned on taking S16 for his driver's license but his information has not made it into the state computer system so he needs to wait until its updated.
Today back at work and it was busy for the most part. Going for a walk then to watch little league game with S13.
The 3 of us are looking forward to our road trip which starts on Friday
Anything with your W? Or have you moved on? Have you had a little "me time" where you do something fun for yourself? Been on any dates?
Anything with your W? Or have you moved on? Have you had a little "me time" where you do something fun for yourself? Been on any dates?
Well, nothing new in regards to my W or our M, currently, it's status quo. She still living with OM and not really spending much time with the kids. This has given me time to reflect and look inside or myself and also to spend lots of time with our boys.
My "me time" has been exercising (biking, walking, lifting weights, etc), which I love doing. Baking, I'm trying lots of new recipes and am looking at taking a class or two in the next couple of months to learn more and meet people. Still attending the divorce support group meetings I found last February and other activities people plan from there. We are planning to have a pot luck picnic at the end of August. I have been spending more time with my family and old friends. Plan on joining 2 bowling leagues which start up in Sept, 1 is a league I have been in for a few years the other will be a new league and I'll have the opportunity to make some new friends. On my walks/bike rides, sometimes I go by myself and other times with a friend or two. When I walk alone I get to read the Bible or a book on my blackberry and pray.
I have not been on any dates as I'm still standing and praying for my marriage. I continue to pray for my wife to be safe and for guidance from the Lord for the path He wants me to follow.
I don't sit at home and dwell or hope the phone rings as I know this is going to take a long time. I'm not ready to file so as long as W is willing to help pay household and child expenses I'm doing fine financially.
I'm really enjoying work for the first time in a ages as I have made some changes in myself which have benefited my current position.
Looking forward to our road trip and being away from the office for 10 days!
All in all, I think I am doing as well as could be expected in this tough situation and am feeling better about myself.
Hang in there. I'm praying for you.
excellent. Glad to hear that. It sounds like you are doing well under the circumstances.
Thanks, I think I'm doing good under this sitch and I think the shock has worn off from the bomb. Well, need to get some sleep then we hit the road in early am!!!!
Hang in there. I'm praying for you.
I'm doing the best I can and so happy I have my kids with me.
Thank you, and I'll keep you and your family in my prayers.
Well, we made it back from our road trip all safe and sound. The trip was awesome, we had a great time!!
The football hall of fame is very cool and the kids really enjoyed seeing all the old footage and uniforms. The Rock N Roll hall was pretty cool too, and the kids didn't give me too hard of time as I was checking everything out.
Then we hit Cedar Point for 2 days and had a blast, my favorite ride was "
Millennium Force", S16's favorite was
Raptor and S13's favorite was
Iron Dragon!!!
This was one of the best vacations I have been on and am so happy I could spend so much time with the kids. On the road and at the hotels and each event we attended.
W was happy we had a good trip and made it home safe and sound. She gave us all big hugs when she came over last night.
Today I took S16 to get his driver's license and he successfully passed the road test and now is a licensed driver
I'm glad I took this whole week off from work. I baked brownies today and tomorrow will bake a carrot cake for the pot luck dinner we are having for my support group.
Tonight, I'm participating in a fantasy football draft which should be fun.
Fantasy football draft was good, I got the older Manning for QB
Today, was a good day. Took S13 to the orthodontist and then took S16 to school. He needed to catch the bus for the football game, since he is one of the trainers this season. He decided not to play as he is more interested in sports medicine so this will be good experience for him. Then went on a long bike ride and saw about a dozen deer roaming near the trails I was riding on.
Tonight went to pot luck with the support group I belong to and they all loved my brownies and carrot cake. There was lots of good food and conversation!!
S16 is out with W's van to go visit one of his cousins.
S13 is playing with friends.
I'm going on a bike ride with a friend. The weather is beautiful today!!
Today, was S13's first day of 8th grade, it was a little sad as he is growing so fast now. Time is flying by for both kids, hope one day my W wakes up before they are all grown up and gone. I do pray she would spend me time with them.
Yes! I have a new beautiful niece who was born tonight to my brother and sister-in-law. The kids and I are very excited and cannot wait to meet her tomorrow!
First, we are going to S16's girlfriend's cross country meet then we will go to the hospital.
Just got home from the hospital and meeting my new niece. She is BEAUTIFUL!!!!
Even S16 & his girlfriend enjoyed visiting for a while today. My niece and sister-in-law are doing well and should go home tomorrow. S13 is out of town visiting his buddy for the long weekend.
Now, I'm baking brownies for a BBQ I'm going to tomorrow at a friend's house from work. Should be fun and relaxing.
Went to a great BBQ yesterday with friends from work and today will spend time with family and cooking out
Got to see my niece again today!!
Its been a good week. Went to group support tonight and everyone loved my double chocolate cookies. Then after the meeting I stopped by my brother's house to hold my niece for a while
Well, I did it - finished reading the whole the Bible and took me 108 days to complete. Wow, what a wonderful collection of books, I never read through any of the books except for excerpts during Sunday mass. Will, definitely need to go back and review/reflect on the many great passages and messages which has consoled me and given me much hope for my life. Now, what to read next...I have a list of books which have been suggested on this site and will look over them again.
Congrats on getting through the bible!
That's a goal of mine in the "someday" pile. I have recently gotten through a couple of books. It takes a while for it to sink in though.
Truly commendable. Good for you.
Congrats on getting through the bible!
That's a goal of mine in the "someday" pile. I have recently gotten through a couple of books. It takes a while for it to sink in though.
Truly commendable. Good for you.
Thank you, I read most of the Bible on my blackberry while out on walks. I have saved many passages to my computer to re-read anyday/anytime
Good idea on the walks. I walk a LOT myself.
I'd worry about tripping though
Yes, I try to keep an eye out for pot holes
Tonight, got invited to a happy hour after work from a co-worker. S16 will be gone all night at his HS football game (he is one of the trainers) and I got my parents to go over to my house to feed S13 as W is going to the HS game. So, I can go out for a ahwil and relax, meet some new people and have some fun!!
Good for you. how was it?
I don't know all the details of your situation but you sound like you are doing great at taking care of yourself and keeping busy. Reading the whole bible is quite an accomplishment! Hope you had a nice time at the happy hour.
Thanks, happy hour was fun and met some interesting people and we laughed and had some good food.
Today, went on a 30mile bike ride and next will go to a little league picnic with S13. Then go see my niece
S16 is out with his girlfriend for the day. One of my neighbors invited me over to watch college football tonight and that should be cool.
Hope everyone is having a godd weekend, its beautiful here is northern Illinois!!
Also, yesterday, W came over to talk about S16 and she told me how tired she is and that she is not very happy. I mostly listen and responded to things about the kids.
Then last night a neighbor invited me over to watch the Sox and college football, we had a couple of beers and then I went to see my niece
Today, did a walk for Lung Cancer fund raiser. Then the kids and I went to church and to my parents to watch the Bears!!
Now, the kids and I are wacthing the Emmys
Hmmm, my wife tells me she is tired all the time. I wonder what it means?
Hmmm, my wife tells me she is tired all the time. I wonder what it means?
I try not to dwell on what anything my W says as it could just drive you crazy.
Tired all of the time? Unhappy?
Tired all of the time is pretty common when someone is experiencing depression. That's an easy one.
Maybe this will help her see that the grass isn't greener on that side of the fence.
Tired all of the time? Unhappy?
Tired all of the time is pretty common when someone is experiencing depression. That's an easy one. Maybe this will help her see that the grass isn't greener on that side of the fence.
Could be, she went to her psychiatrist today and the Dr upped her medication and my W said: "to help her be happy".
I definitely think she left me and the kids too quickly when she only knew the OM for a couple of months. But that is the path she has chosen and I pray someday she realizes this and has the courage to come back home. In the mean time, I'm doing well and even had a great night with S16 and his girlfriend. I walked to the Super Target near our house to shop and then S16 came and picked me and the groceries up. After we unloaded the car and put everything away, the 3 of us had a very nice long conversation
Work has been very busy and I'm completing most of my projects for September.
I signed up for another walk (fund raiser) in October and also will volunteer at the Ronald McDonald House one Sunday in November.
Am looking forward to seeing my niece tomorrow night as I have dinner by my brother's house. Then on Friday the support group I belong to will start a new book - "
Divorced, Catholic, Now What " , I have read the first chapter about prayer and think this next session of the group will help me further along in the next chapter of my journey.
Life is going well. Went to IC yesterday (I go about every 6 wks now) and he is happy with my progress.
Tonight, going to group support and I baked Oatmeal chocolate chip cookies (even brought in some for work)
Tomorrow, going to S16’s girlfriend’s cross country meet, then at night going to a pub crawl in my neighborhood.
Sunday, dinner at my parents’ and watching the Bears!!
S13, wrote a paper for his English class about our summer trip to Ohio. He did a great job, describing our trip and how he felt during the vacation. It was uplifting, inspirational and even a tear jerker at the end. I am so proud of him (of both my kids during this time) and everyday thank the Lord they are home with me.
TGIF
Tonight's chapter was on prayer and praying. Very interesting perspective and some good ideas on how to just do it. I think even God wants the LBSs to GAL so they can heal and be "ok" no matter what happens in their sitch. Cookies were a big hit
Tonight's chapter was on prayer and praying. Very interesting perspective and some good ideas on how to just do it. I think even God wants the LBSs to GAL so they can heal and be "ok" no matter what happens in their sitch. Cookies were a big hit
ppenton,
I think you are correct. God wants us to be happy. And GAL'ing, which I think leads to self confidence, which leads to a healthy emotional state, is what He wants and where it's at.
Amen. Today, S16 and I went to his girlfriend’s cross country meet, then I did a bike ride and now just got home from the pub crawl in my neighborhood. It was a lot of fun and I met up with a lot of friends.
Watched the Bears win again
Then helped my mom baby-sit my niece
Now helping kids with homework.
Been busy with work and kids.
This weekend is homecoming for S16 high school and S13 is getting ready to take a trip to D.C. on 10/10 with his school.
Took off work today as S13 was off school for teacher institute day. I went to church then got donuts for us and then I went on a bike ride. S13 invited some friends over to play xbox as it was raining most of the day. S16 had school then his HS had their home coming game tonight which they won
I also spent some time with my niece
Today - Rode bike, clean house, baked "Double Chocolate Chunk Cookies", took pictures of S16 and his girlfriend for the homecoming dance tonight. Then took S13 over to my brothers and we spent time with my niece and watched a movie.
PP - you are an inspiration to all those who are miserable and suffering on this forum!
I haven't read all of your sitch but the bits that I did (mostly at the beginning and the end) are just wonderful and shows how, with the effort to GAL, you can really embrace a new life! You really do seem to be enjoying your life and, whilst I am sure that you still miss WAW and would be happy for her coming home, I wonder if you would now have time! You are so into your detachment and I think that it's wonderful what you have achieved.
How have you found your strength and what have you done to shake your funk when finding the fog creeping over you, as no doubt it has? I just can't get going ... I'm so miserable and too tired to get out of my own way most of the times.
Would value your advice!
Eskimo Nell, thanks for all your kind words. I will post more later. Just got back from a walk and now taking the kids to church.
PP - you are an inspiration to all those who are miserable and suffering on this forum!
I haven't read all of your sitch but the bits that I did (mostly at the beginning and the end) are just wonderful and shows how, with the effort to GAL, you can really embrace a new life! You really do seem to be enjoying your life and, whilst I am sure that you still miss WAW and would be happy for her coming home, I wonder if you would now have time! You are so into your detachment and I think that it's wonderful what you have achieved.
How have you found your strength and what have you done to shake your funk when finding the fog creeping over you, as no doubt it has? I just can't get going ... I'm so miserable and too tired to get out of my own way most of the times.
Would value your advice!
EN: When my W dropped the bomb I did all the typical LBS no-nos, I pleaded, begged, cried, pursued, snooped, etc. When I realized she was gone and leaving the house, I knew I had to get it together for my kids. So, I started IC about 3 weeks post bomb; started anti-depressants about a month post bomb; joined a Divorce/Separated support group about 6 wks post bomb; support from family/friends; found this site and read DR among many other books and went back to church. I think it was all these things plus my determination to get stronger each and everyday that has helped me to get to this point. The support group was a definite God send as I have made many new friends there. We are able to share are deepest fears and thoughts without anyone judging us or betraying our confidentiality. The woman who runs the program (thru a Catholic church) is a wonderful person who is very knowledgeable about pain and suffering.
I challenged myself this summer to read the Bible and I started on June 1 and finished around Sept 14 and it has made a huge difference in my life. I continue to pray everyday for God’s will and way for my life, in addition, I pray for my W’s heart to soften and for her to find happiness. Prayer has been most beneficial especially as I try to listen for the Lord.
I have been exercising (walking, lifting weights, bike riding) to help relieve stress and any anger which arises. When negative thoughts or fears creep in, I just try to block them out, distract myself or pray for some help to clear my head. I have also, jumped into work by taking on more assignments and responsibilities which helps to keep my mind occupied. I am blessed that I can spend time with family/friends who are nearby.
My brother’s wife just had a baby a month ago and it’s wonderful to have a new born around to hold and love. I do miss my W especially with this new addition which she has not met yet. My W has cut herself off from her family and friends; she just recently started talking with her mom. I do have my down days but not nearly as bad as they were last winter.
I hope this helps.
By letting go and letting God which I placed my W and our M at the foot of the cross is another reason I think I have detached as well as I have at this point
Thanks PP - I am glad that you have found peace.
I have tried many of the things you have suggested here but the answer for me lies in my total isolation. I have NO ONE around me as I am a new(ish) immigrant and have yet to make any firm friends. If I could have a friend over, even every other weekend, for a few beers and a sleep over - I think that would clinch it. It's just awful spending a whole weekend in solitude and not speaking a word to a living soul.
People in prison call that solitary confinement ... most are out in a few days, I'm still here after 4 months.
Today was a good day, work went well then lifted weights and spent the rest of the day with my kids
After dinner decided to bake "Milk Chocolate Snack Cake" - kids love it
Over the weekend W asked me if I wanted to go to dinner with her and the boys on Wed. I told her I would check my schedule then this morning she asked again and I said sure. So, the four of us will go out to dinner tonight for the first time in over 10 months, we'll see how it goes. My actual birthday is Friday.
How do you get people to respond to you questions on this site?
ppenton...I so admire your patience and persistence. My W just told me yesterday that she's going to move out & I'm questioning whether I ever want anything to do with her again...besides matters involving our S4. Then I see you GAL'ing & hanging in there months after W moved in w/ OM it's amazing.
I hope I can be that strong. I'm not so sure right now.
Best of luck to you.
How do you get people to respond to you questions on this site?
Patience and keep posting, people will respond. Hang in there are breathe
ppenton...I so admire your patience and persistence. My W just told me yesterday that she's going to move out & I'm questioning whether I ever want anything to do with her again...besides matters involving our S4. Then I see you GAL'ing & hanging in there months after W moved in w/ OM it's amazing.
I hope I can be that strong. I'm not so sure right now.
Best of luck to you.
Thanks!!
Believe me time and faith has been my biggest assets. I was not this strong in the beginning.
I do have my down moments, they are not as often and not nearly as deep or dreadful as before.
GALing and support from this site and family/friends have been a tremendous impact.
I’m reading
Divorced, Catholic, Now What? Which has chapters that deal with prayer, anger, healing, forgiveness, etc…
Also, my boss has been a great resource and even told me early on in my sitch to get more involve with projects at work to keep my mind occupied which has helped me. Not only in my career but to keep my mind off of my current circumstances. In addition, I have faith that God will return my W but I’m not sitting at home waiting my the phone
Eat well, exercise and know that it will get better. I didn't believe it last winter/spring but it does. You will even laugh and have fun again!
There are people on this site who give wonderful, insightful advice!!
Eat well, exercise and know that it will get better. I didn't believe it last winter/spring but it does. You will even laugh and have fun again!
Boy, I hope you're right. I've lost 12 lbs in the past month since I've been on the "so stressed that I can't eat or sleep" diet. That needs to change, and quickly.
Eat well, exercise and know that it will get better. I didn't believe it last winter/spring but it does. You will even laugh and have fun again!
Boy, I hope you're right. I've lost 12 lbs in the past month since I've been on the "so stressed that I can't eat or sleep" diet. That needs to change, and quickly.
It should I lost 35 lbs in about 6wks; since then have gained back about 10. Glad I lost some weight but not the best diet in the world
Dinner went well tonight. We went to Applebee's and enjoyed ourselves. W commented a couple of times how much fun she had and was glad I could make dinner with her and our sons. I am glad I went and I did have fun conversing with her and the kids.
After we got home, W left and S16 went and picked up his girlfriend and the kids did homework and I baked Triple Chocolate cupcakes
Today is my birthday
Going to work and bring in triple chocolate cupcakes
Birthday yesterday was good despite the crappy weather. Work went well then had dinner with S13. Then I went to the group support I belong to and one of the women baked me a cake and they all sung happy birthday - I though that was very nice
Today, took S13 to school at 5:00am to catch the bus which was taking the 8th grade class to the airport as they are going to D.C. for the weekend. (W didn't show up this morning)
Then S16 and I had breakfast and later he met up with some friends and I went on a long bike ride.
Tonight, just got home from bowling with my friends and looking forward to sleeping....was long day today.
Tomorrow, Bears off so will watch other games
Today, logged into work for about an hour.
Then took S16 to church
Then we picked up S16's girlfriend and went to my parents for lunch and to watch football. We also played dominoes and when we got home I took a walk and the kids did homework.
Taking the day off tomorrow
Well, this week is going by pretty uneventful. Tonight, went to a college fair to collect information from schools around the Midwest. There were about 150 colleges/universities with their representatives to answer any questions you have. It was a good place to start looking for schools which S16 might be interested attending. I told S16 he’ll have to come with next time. W was planning on going then called me after work to let me know she was not feeling well and could not make it. She told me she is depressed and her body hurts all over and she cannot wait till December 26, so the holidays are over. I just listened and told her I would get as much information as I could from as many schools I thought S16 would be interested in. I didn't say anything about the holidays as I'm not sure what we are going to do. We are planning to discuss the holiday schedule over Halloween weekend.
I'm a little down as our anniversary is coming up on Saturday and I’m trying to plan things to do that day.
Plus, this rainy weather is not helping. I’m thinking of giving her a card with a few words in there about our kids and acknowledging this day. As I know without her and our M we would not have these 2 great boys. I know I will go to church and then need to bake cookies for my niece’s christening which is on Sunday. I am looking forward to celebrating her first special day!!
I'm a little down as our anniversary is coming up on Saturday and I’m trying to plan things to do that day.
Plus, this rainy weather is not helping. I’m thinking of giving her a card with a few words in there about our kids and acknowledging this day. As I know without her and our M we would not have these 2 great boys. I know I will go to church and then need to bake cookies for my niece’s christening which is on Sunday. I am looking forward to celebrating her first special day!!
Sorry for the doldrums you have. Has to be tough. But, you have something to look forward to with your neice's christening. So, focus on that and try not to allow yourself to be bummed out on your anniversary Easier said than done, I know. But, you do control what you feel and think.
FYI, my anniversary is six days after your's.
givingitmyall - Thank you, I am looking forward to Sunday and I even have my neice's picture hanging up on my cube wall next to my boys. Looking up and seeing their faces always puts a smile on mine.
Today, work was much better and I was in a better mood.
After work went to the high school football game and met up with W and she gave me a ride home as I walked to the game. Before I got out of the van she asked me to stop by the famers market where she works on Saturdays as she wanted to see me on our anniversary. I told her I'd try to stop by (didn't tell I already planned to at least see her tomorrow).
She also told me one reason she is so depressed is that she doesn't know what to about "us" and she is carrying around a lot of guilt. I just said that I know that its very hard right now.
Today was our 17th anniversary and this is the first time we did not celebrate it together but last night she asked me to come to her work today. So, after church I went to see her and I gave her a card (which I wrote a note; it was not a typical anniversary card) and a rose and we spent about an hour together talking and she even hugged me a couple of times. It was very nice and she told me she is still struggling with our situation and she feels very guilty. We hugged then I left and came home and had lunch with S16. Then went for a bike ride and then had dinner with my parents and finally baked cookies for my niece’s baptism tomorrow. Overall, I had a good day, much better than I was anticipating during the week.
"Those who trust in the Lord will find new strength, They will soar high on wings like eagles, They will run and not grow weary, They will walk and not faint." Isaiah 40:31
The baptism went well even with 10 babies lined up!
My niece was awake and didn’t even cry when the priest poured water on her. After the ceremony and pictures, we went to my parents house for lots of good food and drink. We watched football, talked and played cards, it was a lot of fun. Back at work today and very tired
Found this the other day and its helping me stay strong:
Don't Quit by Anonymous
When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and its turns,
As everyone of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about
When they might have won, had they stuck it out.
Don't give up though the pace seems slow,
You may succeed with another blow.
Often the goal is nearer than,
It seems to a faint and faltering man,
Often the struggler has given up
When he might have captured the victor's cup;
And he learned too late when the night came down,
How close he was to the golden crown.
Success is failure turned inside out
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit,
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit!
Today was long day at work, rain is getting old. But had a good night with the kids and my niece
Went to support group tonight (S16 at his high school's football game; S13 stayed home and played with friends)
Tonight's topic was "Why Did God Allow This to Happen?", good lively discussions especially around what is God's plan for you?
I baked "White Chunk Blondies" which were a big hit after the meeting. Now time to go pick up S16 from rainy game.
Spent time with family today, went on a walk after the rain stopped. Got to feed my niece and burp her
Now, baking cookies for a party tomorrow
Update:
Last night S13 and I purchased a Wii (its part of his Christmas present) and I love it.
We played for hours last night and tonight. Even S16 joined us for some fun.
Today, after work, I lifted weights then stopped at my brother’s house for dinner and to hold my niece before I came home to the kids. W was had dinner with the kids and folded clothes for us.
Tomorrow, after work going bowling with some co-workers. Friday, going to play cards at a friends house.
Saturday is Halloween.
Then on Sunday, W, S16 and I are going to a reception for some colleges who are visiting the area.
Had a blast bowling with co-workers at this new bowling alley near work. Came home and ate dinner then played Wii with S13. S16 and his girlfriend started to clean up the basement as they want to host a Halloween party on Saturday night. They have done a good job so far. It should be fun having a house full of kids, pizza, pop and candy!
Happy Halloween!!
Last night had fun playing cards and spending time with old friends
But was a little down on drive home as they are all still married and seem happy. I guess was just missing W somewhat. I know I'm ok and am healing more each day.
Today should be fun! My niece will stop by to trick or treat
The kids and I are getting the house ready for their party tonight and I'm baking cookies
Let Go, Let God
My spirit soars as I let go and trust God.
As I step out in faith to do something new and daring, I may feel like a skydiver moments before a jump. When I make the conscious choice to let go of my comfortable surroundings, I may experience a moment of fear. But like the skydiver, my fear is quickly replaced with exhilaration and excitement as I soar through the experience with complete trust. I let go of my fear. God is with me and all is well! Letting go of fear is liberating. As I let go and trust God, I open the way for God's perfect expression within me and in all the circumstances of my life. I don't worry about the outcome, for I know that all is well. I know that God is in charge and that I am being divinely guided and blessed.
Trust in the Lord forever.--Isaiah 26:4
Tonight W & I went to parent-teacher conference at the HS for S16 and were very impress how much the teachers love him
His grades are excellent and they all love his leadership skills and class participation
Then S13, my mom and I went to dinner, when we got home S13 did homework and I watched the Bears lose
S16 been playing "Call Of Duty Modern Warfare 2" for hours with his friends!
Took today off from work. Went to church, now baking cookies for the gaming kids
Will go on bike ride later and then spend the evening with the kids
Going for bike ride again
Then will get ready and go to a friend's wedding tonight
whew!!
Survived another RIF at work today. We had one last December and now again. I hope the economy starts to really pick up soon!
I really appreciate your spirit and pos mental attitude. Any 180's? Any new activities involving others? Like a class? Just asking. I surely enjoy reading your posts about the skydiving exhiliration of knowing that we don't know, but we DO trust.
Gilda Radner (the comedienne from SNL who died of cancer at age 43) said at first it was so hard to deal with the ambiguity of not knowing what the outcome would be of her illness. They wanted kids and that's how they learned she had cancer...so she would try to plan and then realize, "WTH? I cannot "plan" on my life as if it's a machine in my control and she suggested that we all accept this b/c it's inherent in our lives. None of us is promised tomorrow. She said to learn to "embrace the ambiguity" and I really treasure that quote. I think Faith means truly working and doing your best, and then leaving the results up to God.
I don't know what God has planned for you EXCEPT something good is around the corner for you, if you let it come to you. Whatever it is, I know He cares for us and wants us to be comforted and happy so I urge you to let it all in. Say YES! and take the skydive. I'm betting the chute opens...and fyi, for my big 50, in 2 weeks, I'm going on up to 12,500 ft and taking a parachute dive with my d20...we have long wanted to and it's TIME!! (H will remain on the land. He's not that into the adrenaline rush and besides, someone has to be on the ground with the camera). And if the chute does not open, what a way to go. Kind of like life and love, better to try and fail, than to stay closed up to it. If you "die trying to fully live or love..." well like I said....what a way to go.
j-
Wow, 25yearsmlc, thanks for stopping by. Your posts on other threads are always very helpful for those of us who find ourselves here. You are a great resource and inspiration.
I would say my main 180s have been at the office. I have taken on more of a leadership role in the projects I'm involved with. In fact, the other day, my manager pulled my aside to tell me what a great job I have been doing this past year (he does know about my situation at home). I did lead and successfully complete a couple of major tasks this past summer/fall. I'm in IT and we needed to have all our applications working using Internet Explorer 8 and the new Windows 7 which Microsoft released in October. I guided the various teams in our organization to complete these 2 projects in less than 6 months (which included scheduling people to test and having their managers verify each application, over 300 of them). I met with management regularly to give status updates and made sure everyone was on the same page and moving along.
Outside of work, I have been exercising (walking, bike riding, lifting weights), baking (which I love), reading, praying and moving closer to God, spending time with the kids, my family and friends (new & old). I bowl in a league which is one Saturday a month with friends. I go to a support group every other Friday (I'm the unofficial baker) which still is a blessing and making friends through this outlet. I'm enjoying life and not feeling stuck at all as I do trust the Lord has a plan and path for me. I just need to keep moving and listening to His instructions. Both my medical doctor and psychologist, along with friends/family think I am doing so much better than I was last spring and I feel good. I do still think about my W and what happened to us but I do not dwell on the past too much. In fact, I have been remembering a lot of the good times we shared and I'm able to communicate with W better. I told my doctor today that if W wanted to come back home I would work with her so we could be a family again. I know my boys miss having her around (not that they really talk about it) and would like for us to be a family again.
For the meeting tonight I decided to bake 2 types of cookies as I was off work today "Mint Chocolate Delights" &
"Dark Chocolate & Mint Cookies".
Tomorrow, I'll be attending a high school ALL-CLASS reunion with a bunch of friends. It will be very interesting to meet with some old classmates and alumni from other years who attended the same school and what they remembered about H.S.
Good luck and have a blast on your birthday!!
I loved Roseanne Roseannadanna "Well it just goes to show you, it's always something”
Now to go for a walk....
Also, have been volunteering and participating in fund raisers and enjoying the growth it has given me
Last night had a BLAST attending my high school ALL-CLASS reunion with a bunch of friends. It was great to see people from my class as well as other classes some even back to 1969.
We packed the place with over 500 alumni
It was great catching up with people and now we are keeping in touch on FB.
I'm so glad I went and what a blessing to be able to re-connect again
Ok, first time I'm trying to make rice pudding...
I hope it does not rain all week....
HAPPY THANKSGIVING everyone!!
Wishing you all a blessed and safe Thanksgiving and holiday weekend!!
Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else. Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. ~ I Thessalonians 5:15-18
"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." ~ Philippians 4:4-7
ppenton, I don't think I have ever posted to you but I read your thread. You are the GAL King! Great job on not getting bitter or wallowing in anger. I know your Faith has been a blessing. You are handling it.
Cheers
Coach
Thanks Coach, your posts have been an inspiration! Sometimes, I wish I had more time to post here to help others.
Well, today has been slow at work which has been nice.
Tonight I’m going to church with my parents and we are attending a Latin mass, should be interesting as I never been to one before. Then will bake cookies after for tomorrow.
Tomorrow, will make a first attempt at creating a French Silk pie
W is taking kids to her cousin’s house for the afternoon and I’m going to an Aunt’s house.
Then we will meet back at the house and I’ll take the kids over to a neighbor’s for Sushi, football and dessert (pie)
Friday, I’m going to the high school football city championship at Soldier Field with my brother, dad and a couple of uncles (maybe S13 will join us). S16 will be working at his school as they are hosting a basketball tournament this weekend. I may go to a game or 2 over the weekend.
Saturday, I’m sure I’ll walk or bike ride during the day and that evening going to visit a friend and her new baby.
Sunday, will take the kids to my parents and watch football and relax.
Monday taking off work as this could be a great weekend
Wow, what a great day!!!! Football, lots of food and drinks and time with family/friends
Change a plans for today (everyone backed out of going to the football game), so I walked about 5K this morning. Then made waffles for the kids, now cleaning then we will put up the Christmas tree
Tonight, will bake some more cookies for my friend whom I will visit with tomorrow evening.
The sun is out
so going for a bike ride
Took the day off for a longer weekend
My car passed the emissions test and now going to walk over to my brother's house to visit my niece
After putting up our Christmas tree, was thinking how much I'm looking forward to the holidays. I wish my W was home to celebrate as a family but that was her decision to leave. I'm not going let my circumstances get in my way of having a good time! I'll admit some days are harder than others to get PMA going but everyday that passes has helped me move forward. I had a great weekend (only Friday night I was down a little) but the rest of the weekend was fun. Watched a lot of football and ate too much, so need to be walking more
This morning W is having a colonoscopy procedure as she has been suffering from adominal pain. Her doctor had a CAT scan done and they saw something and wanted to check further. I said many prayers for her today and will hear from her later today to find out how it went. I know she was very scared about today, and hopefully everything will work out.
This morning W is having a colonoscopy procedure as she has been suffering from adominal pain. Her doctor had a CAT scan done and they saw something and wanted to check further. I said many prayers for her today and will hear from her later today to find out how it went. I know she was very scared about today, and hopefully everything will work out.
W, sent me a text about her test:
"Still pretty spacey from the drugs. Found some polyps and removed them. Need to call doctor in a week for results"
I texted back: "Thx, get some rest"
So, now I can concentrate on work again.
Well, talked with W after I took S13 to the high school for an introduction for 8th graders. He signed up for football, baseball and a TV camp for next summer. Pretty cool!
W is doing better, said she was very tired all day and she gets the results next wednesday.
Today, the potluck at work was a success as everyone is full
Will need to walk lots after work.
Tonight, more baking for potluck tomorrow night for group at church
Last night decided to bake a craneberry-ornage bread for the potluck tonight. Talked with W about some Christmas gifts for the boys and took a long walk to work off some potluck calories
Have you put up any Xmas decorations? That may lift your spirits. And play Xmas music, too!
Have you put up any Xmas decorations? That may lift your spirits. And play Xmas music, too!
Yes, last Friday the kids and I put up the tree and decorations. My spirits are actually good. Been listening to Christmas music everyday since Thanksgiving. I don't get a chance to post here all the time as I have been busy but have been doing well. Thanks for the suggestions!
Had a really good day today: went to lunch with some of the guys at work. Then lifted weights after work. Tonight, went to potluck at church with the support group I'm involve with and had lots of good food and laughs
Came home and read this and wanted to share:
One With God ~
I am one with God every moment of every day. What does it mean to be one with God? Is it a feeling in my heart? Is it an assurance deep within my soul? Perhaps it is an inner knowing that, regardless of appearances or circumstances, I am one with the peaceful, all-providing presence of God. The word oneness implies a sense of belonging. I belong with God. I am one with the spirit of God, the Spirit that is forever guiding me, protecting me and strengthening me in mind and body. My oneness with God assures me that I am never alone. I am one with God day and night. Knowing that God is with me and within me, I feel safe and connected, healthy and whole, assured of peace in all situations.
He came to her and said, "Greetings, favored one! The Lord is with you."--Luke 1:28
Today, despite the cold, was a good day. The sun was out and I baked some Christmas cookies and hung out with S13
Tonight, with my brother, SIL and their baby girl, along with another couple and their 2 kids went to see the holiday lights at the zoo. Had some hot chocolate and watched the animals move about during the night. It was very enjoyable now just kicking back and watching some TV shows I taped during the week.
Tonight, went with S16, my mom and a friend to see S16's girlfriend in the high school Holiday Concert. It was awesome and amazing how good and talented these youngsters are with music and singing. We enjoyed the whole show.
S13 won the Chamber of Commerce "Create the Slogan for the 2010 Census" contest, he will receive $100 bond at the next village meeting. I think its pretty cool, he says its no big deal.
W and I will take him Monday night to the meeting and he will receive the bond at a special recognition segment before the meeting starts. My parents and MIL most likely will attend as well.
Today, will go Christmas shopping then have my monthly bowling tonight
At bowling tonight we are having a food drive for a local pantry.
Today, lazy day with the kids. Watching football, snacking and wrapping Christmas gifts. Will meet up with a friend later for a walk.
Last night went on a 5 mile walk with a friend.
Tonight went to reconciliation at a near by church, then came home refreshed and started baking cookies. I bake chocolate chip cookies for neighbors, friends and family for Christmas (that's the ones they always request). I love baking them and apparently they love to eat them.
In the past years W would deliver them for me, this year I’ll have my boys deliver them since S16 has his license. I’ll be baking mostly every night until Christmas as I make around 100 dozen (give or take).
So, I’ll be working, baking, eating, trying to exercise and going to parties for the next 10 days.
Have already finished most of my Christmas shopping already!
Hey pp,
Just going thru your thread. I'm praying that God will turn this for your good. Blessings to you.
Hey pp,
Just going thru your thread. I'm praying that God will turn this for your good. Blessings to you.
I appreciate your good thoughts for me and my family, thanks TulsaTime
Well, decided to get W a picture frame with kids picture in it for Christmas. I took some pictures of them with their new cousin a few weeks ago. Not sure what the kids will get her as they did not do anything for her birthday this past summer and I think they are old enough to buy/do something for Christmas if they want to for either me or W. I’m just happy they are home with me and I get lots of hugs and ILYs from them daily so that is all I need from them, they do not have to get(buy) me something for the holiday. All the time I get to spend with them is priceless as I know how fast time goes by and they will be off to college before I know it.
Tonight, will be having dinner at home with the kids and W (I usually go to my brothers on Wednesday, but his family will not be home), so this will give W and I a chance to discuss the gifts we are getting for the boys.
Then I need to bake a cranberry-orange bread for a potluck tomorrow
Last night, dinner went well with W and the kids. W and I discussed what we are getting for the kids and she even mentioned buying me something, which I thought was nice and surprised me.
Today: potluck was filling, no left-over cranberry bread. Went to IC (go about once a month now) and had a good session, he still likes the strides I have made this year with the tools I have acquired.
My MIL had knee replacement surgery this morning and is doing well. She even walked with a walker this afternoon! W and MIL are actually talking a little more but still not really friendly with each other.
Tonight, went on a walk and then baked cranberry-oatmeal-white chocolate chip cookies!! Will give some to friends at work and the rest will bring to the support group I go to every other Friday. Things are moving along and so I am looking forward to Christmas and the time off from work.
Support group went well last night, topic was how to deal with your ex-spouse. Very lively discussions.
Baked 2 chocolate fudge tree shaped homemade cakes and chocolate chip cookies for xmas party at my parents house. We are celebrating with my mom's family today
sometimes, I wonder if I should be feeling so good and happy as I do most days. I am so looking forward to Christmas this year! I still pray for my W everyday and miss her. I pray my kids are able to continue to get through this time of their lives with their mom not home everyday. I'm not too concerned about why I feel good but sometimes wonder if I should be guilty for not being down more often. I do have days and moments when I'm not feeling good but for the most part am very happy.
I am grateful to have my kids home with me everyday, I'm grateful for my job and manager, my friends (new and old). family especially my new niece and all the little things life brings everyday. I'm loving baking more and more each day.
I have noticed my W calls me more often lately and not always about the kids or finances. If I am busy or don't feel like talking with her I don't answer, otherwise I'll take her call and be pleasant and listen as best as I can. In addition, she has taken a more active roll in their school this year which is an improvement after she dropped the bomb. I'm glad she is trying to be in the kids lives again.
Anyway, everyone have a great weekend!!
You sound great and those cranberry oatmeal cookies sound amazing! Baking is therapeutic for me and it seems it is for you too!
Yes, love baking. Been doing a lot of it and my friends are enjoying the fruit of my labor
Tonight, had a great time with family, playing games, eating and of course spending time with my niece for her first Christmas celebration.
I cherish my time with friends and family throughout the Christmas season.
Holiday celebrations with family and coworkers are meant to be joyful. But on occasion, I may feel anxious about them. I take a moment now to consciously release any tension I am experiencing, any unrealistic expectations I've placed upon myself or others. I become flexible and accepting. In so doing, I am better able to enjoy the spontaneity of each event.
I greet my dear ones with love, appreciating the unique qualities they bring to each gathering. Throughout the holiday season, I affirm silently, I behold the Christ in you, whether I am looking in the mirror or looking into the eyes of another. I cherish our times of togetherness this Christmas.
The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, the love of God, and the communion of the Holy Spirit be with all of you.--2 Corinthians 13:13
yesterday, went on a long walk with a friend, then spent the rest of the day baking cookies.
Today, worked and then went to church and came home and ate dinner with S16. S13 is spending these days with his best friend from out of state.
Tonight, S16 and I delivered the cookies to our neighbors and friends (in the past W and S16 would deliver them). All-in-all a good long day....very tired....
P,
You have the patience of Job. I don't know how you do it, but I admire you nevertheless.
Nut
P,
You have the patience of Job. I don't know how you do it, but I admire you nevertheless.
Nut
Thanks Nut, as you can imagine some days are better than others. Some of my family thinks I have too much patience
I know I work hard at it and I think it’s really helping the kids get through this period also. I tell my family and friends that this is a great opportunity for me to learn about myself and create an even stronger bond with my boys.
One thing I have discovered is even though I have baked in the past I really enjoy baking more now, not sure why, but have been trying many new things to create in my oven. In addition, have been participating in charity events which I never did before and after the holidays will look into volunteering somewhere in some capacity.
Going back to church has been the biggest help and reading the Bible over the summer was an eye opening and rewarding experience. Making new friends through the support group I joined last February and being able to lean on them when needed or giving them a shoulder to cry on has helped me to grow. Going to meditations and learning more about forgiveness has helped in the development of my healing process. My W doesn’t know about all the things I have done this past year to help me grow and heal nor about all the tools I have picked up to use, such as, this board. I plan to continue to use these tools and find new ones as needed to keep me going. I still pray she will open her eyes and turn to the Lord and come home, however, I know with the help of God I will be just fine with the outcome whatever that may be. I know it will still hurt if she never returns or I move on but it will not determine how I feel about myself nor affect my own happiness.
Today the drive in to work was slow with the newly fallen snow we received. The scenery was peaceful and beautiful as the snow looks great on the bare trees as I drive through many forested areas. Glad this week is slow at work and not many people here so I can catch up on my tasks
today after work, lifted weights, then took my mom out for dinner as its her birthday. Came home and went on a walk. Kids are with friends and now I'm cleaning the house to get ready for more baking tomorrow.
today after work, lifted weights, then took my mom out for dinner as its her birthday. Came home and went on a walk. Kids are with friends and now I'm cleaning the house to get ready for more baking tomorrow.
P,
I hope you are laying off the baked goods much better than I. Been lurking on your thread but not posting much.
You sound good. Keep it up.
today after work, lifted weights, then took my mom out for dinner as its her birthday. Came home and went on a walk. Kids are with friends and now I'm cleaning the house to get ready for more baking tomorrow.
P,
I hope you are laying off the baked goods much better than I. Been lurking on your thread but not posting much.
You sound good. Keep it up.
That's one of the reasons I walk everyday
Yep. I hit the gym hard tonight for the same reason.
PPenton, you've been at this longer than I and probably hit harder -- the OM -- than I have been, yet you seem so much at piece.
You aren't much older than me. I so want my M to work out, but I look at my W and she just seems so sure of herself -- not happy -- but determined to make it work without me.
At what point do you give up and say a D is best for everyone involved? Aren't you worried that there is another path out there for you to follow?
PPenton, you've been at this longer than I and probably hit harder -- the OM -- than I have been, yet you seem so much at piece.
You aren't much older than me. I so want my M to work out, but I look at my W and she just seems so sure of herself -- not happy -- but determined to make it work without me.
At what point do you give up and say a D is best for everyone involved? Aren't you worried that there is another path out there for you to follow?
ClingingToHope, I am at peace as I do trust in God. He has a plan for me and I am trying to follow the path He has set forth for me. I’m not worried about the path I’m on as I know God will show me the way. If the Lord has another direction for me then I’ll need to adjust to this new path. As I have mentioned I do not know if my sitch will end in reconciliation or D, however, I do know I will be great. This has been a wonderful (albeit very painful) learning experience. Since, I do not want a D and believe in M for life, I have not made a decision for how long I’ll wait. It’s not like I’m sitting at home by the phone waiting for her to call
I am very thankful to Jesus for holding and carrying me many miles throughout my journey in 2009 and I know He’ll be there in 2010 and beyond. Yes, it’s been a long year but at times very fulfilling and I have been blessed with new friends, closer relationships with family and a beautiful niece who is just an angel!
I was given some really good advice when I first came on this board from many people and especially from 25yearsmlc, who expressed to me to be very, very patient and to “Keep the road home paved and smooth”. As this will be a long road and that time is on your side. My W told me and her friends that she will make her new life with OM work no matter what but I have seen her many times this past year where she does not look nor act happy as she did when the A started. She has told me how much she misses the kids but does not make an effort to see them more (action speaks louder than words)
I have worked very hard this year to learn about myself and to detach, keep my life going, raising my teenage sons and spreading love and happiness to others. My IC has told me many times this year how he thinks I am doing a great job and not missing out on any opportunities to spend time with others. I don’t always post here everything I do in RL but I have gone to a wedding, a reunion and other events where I would usually take my W. He was happy to hear I still went and interacted with others at these events. I told him that I am still open to reconcile but that I want to enjoy life and that I do not need her or anyone else to bring me happiness. I realize that happiness and joy/sorrow and anger come from within. The tools I have been blessed with and utilize, including this board have been instrumental in my recovery and growth from bomb day (Dec 27, 2008).
Hope this makes sense.
Bottom line is I feel good, am happy with who I am and loving the fact I’m growing everyday and spending time with my sons as I know they will be in college in a blink of an eye.
Wishing everyone and their families a blessed and Merry Christmas!!
Ppenton
Show me Your ways, O LORD, teach me Your paths; guide me in Your truth and teach me, for You are God, my Savior, and my hope is in You all day long. ~ Psalm 25:4-5
I have never been an avid reader of the bible, although I have embraced church like never before. If you were to pick one book of the bible to read to get through the low points, which would it be?
I have never been an avid reader of the bible, although I have embraced church like never before. If you were to pick one book of the bible to read to get through the low points, which would it be?
Well, I'm new to reading the Bible and not sure which book to recommend. I read the Bible over the summer from
BibleGateway and plan on reading it again next summer. The Psalms & Proverbs are inspirational as well as the gospels. Maybe someone else with a deeper background can make a recommendation.
Psalms and Proverbs are excellent. Also, consider reading the Gospel accounts of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. In those books we learn about the life of Jesus and the example that he set for all of us. From Jesus' example we learn how to be a good husband since he is the perfect husband of the congregation and displays a perfect love to his bride at all times. Also, we learn how to be good wives since Jesus is in a wife like position to his Father and works in harmony with his Father's will. Also, he shows a deep respect for his Father. If every person, both husbands and wives, worked hard to follow in the footsteps and apply the counsel of Jesus their would be no need for websites like this one.
MERRY CHRISTMAS
May your heart be filled with the wonder of His love;
May you rejoice in His mercy and grace;
May you feel the warmth of His presence;
And, may the promise of the birth of Christ fill all your tomorrows with hope.
Wishing you and your families a very blessed and Merry Christmas!!
Thank you all again for your support and love!
Today, W came over to pick up kids to bring to her mom's house. We talked for a bit and then W gave me a big hug, which I told her was nice.
Now, I'm baking oatmeal-cranberry cookies and then will make some fudge. Then will go for a walk and try not to slip on the ice. When the kids get home I'll take them along with S16's girlfriend to my uncle's house for some good food, drinks and fun
Had a wonderful Christmas (eve & day)!!!!!
have this week off from work
baking for NYE party tomorrow!!
With God's love in my heart, I fully experience the happiness of life.
Happiness is a state of heart and mind. It is mine to choose. When I rise each morning, I think positively. I begin my day with a smile on my face and a song in my heart that says "Thank You, God, for another perfect day."
I spread happiness in my interactions with others. Through a simple smile and a cheerful outlook, I lift the spirits of family and friends. I look on the light side of life, realizing that goodness and love can be found every moment of every day.
My heart and mind are open to the inspiration of God as the source of my love and enthusiasm for life. I live the peace and happiness God created me to experience.
Happy are those who live in your house, ever singing your praise.--Psalm 84:4
I release that which no longer serves me. My spirit is restored.
With the start of a new year, I eagerly anticipate doors opening wide with new possibilities. I am grateful for new beginnings. I welcome the opportunity to release that which no longer serves me, knowing that life can begin anew for me. I open my heart and mind to receive my good.
While I may or may not make New Year's resolutions, I resolve to focus my attention on "being" rather than "doing." This year, I allow myself the gift of reflection. By tuning in each day to the Divine Presence within me, I find my spirit is restored and my vision for myself is expanded. I am able to create the life that I desire. By staying in the present moment, I see the Truth of me--and I am a joyful new creation.
I have set before you an open door, which no one is able to shut.--Revelation 3:8
Went to a NYE party last night and had a wonderful time. It was a small, intimate, and informal gathering. We had good food, wine and desserts. There were only 4 of us me and 3 women from the support group I attend twice a month. It was very relaxing and refreshing to just hangout and have conversations about various topics. I did get a text message sometime after mid-night from W wishing me a happy new year and I responded to her early this morning. I got home from the party after 2am and have been chilling today and watching college football and reading. My kids went to parties by their friends’ houses and they had fun too.
back to work today and a little sleepy
Tonight S16, his girlfriend and I watched the first part of the Civil War: America Divided (10 part series) from MillCreek Entertainment. Very educational - cannot wait to watch the rest of this series.
heading home to shovel before we get more snow
shoveled snow, made dinner & ate with the kids, took an hour long walk and now watching football!!
Found this to be so true and spoke very clearly to me:
I am joy in expression.
There is no need to ever wait for joy. My joy does not depend on reaching or achieving certain goals. I don't have to graduate from college to feel joy, nor do I need to be married to feel joy. I needn't postpone my joy until I've retired or reached a certain level of success. Joy is a state of mind, arising from realization and gratitude, accessible to me at all times.
I focus on the joy that underlies my life each day. When I awake, I feel joy. Throughout my day, I give thanks for the people who share my journey. At the end of the day, I am grateful for each experience. I reflect on the blessings in my life and feel joy welling up within me. I never wait for joy. I choose joy in this very moment.
My brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of any kind, consider it nothing but joy.--James 1:2
Dropped off S13 at the high school for placement testing. Wow, how time flies and my baby is getting ready for high school....
walked for about 90 minutes, now getting ready for bowling....tonight its Hawaiian night
aloha
ppenton,
I haven't read your entire thread yet. Curious, are you still married? Are you still hoping for reconciliation? Do you have contact with wife and does she see the kids?
You seem to be doing well and a great example of a godly man.
ppenton,
I haven't read your entire thread yet. Curious, are you still married? Are you still hoping for reconciliation? Do you have contact with wife and does she see the kids?
You seem to be doing well and a great example of a godly man.
Yes, we are still legally married, have been separated for about a year and we are using an agreement we came up with last January. This addresses our finances, who has the kids on which holidays, etc. we meet every 3 months to discuss/update this agreement. I believe I have the better deal since the kids live with me full time
Yes, I am standing for my marriage and am still open to build a new M, so I am willing to try to reconcile. I am using this time to learn more about myself, trust in God, grow and experience new things and meet and hopefully make even more friends.
W and I are in contact with each other by phone, text and email pertaining to the kids. I have not seen her since Christmas day. W has been more involved with the kids this school year (not a lot in my opinion) but better than the end of last year. W takes S13 to school and picks him up after and brings him home. She sees S16 in the morning as he gets ready and goes to school with a buddy. I usually leave for work before the kids wake up and W comes over. Also, W will take them to their appointments during the week if I'm at work. She doesn’t usually see them on the weekends, but does call/text them. She has dinner with them at our house on Wednesdays and I spend the evening at my brother and SIL’s house which has turned out to be a blessing as I get to see my 4 month old niece at least once a week
I feel so much at peace now, as I know I can lean on Jesus and my family/friends when I need support. The group I go to has been great and we even had a NYE party at one woman’s house which was a lot of fun. My interactions with the kids has improved even though I was close to them pre-bomb, the benefits since have been priceless and very beneficial for me and them. I know I would not trade the time I have had with them this past year for anything.
I’m not sure if all I do is the best at DBing, however, I know that the last 6+ months I have been doing very well and am happy! My W and I do get along which I believe has a lot to do with the way I approach and react to her. The process I have been going through to forgive her and the OM has benefited me and soften my heart which I need to practice everyday. I have done a lot of work and reached out to people and found tools to help me get through this valley.
Thanks, TulsaTime for checking in….
You sound good. I'm following what you're doing in terms of GAL. Gotta get myself back to church.
GAL and church have been wonderful tools for me.
Romans 12:2, "Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect." (NLT)
Philippians 4:8, "Summing it all up, friends, I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse." (MSG)
Galatians 5:22-24, "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law." (NIV)
If only I could do or remember this everyday:
The grace of God sustains me in every moment. Life presents many opportunities to grow, change and choose direction. Whatever lies before me, I can be sure that God is in the midst of it. God is present in every moment as goodness, freedom, wisdom, understanding and all I need for fulfillment. Whatever choices I make, whatever direction I take, I trust the grace of God to guide me. I live calmly and confidently, and I walk my path in peace. I have absolute assurance that the grace of God is equally present in the lives of those I care about. As God's grace is demonstrated, I give thanks for the opportunities that come my way and know that each is a gift. I am aware of the grace of God surrounding and sustaining me. What a powerful way to live!
From his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace.--John 1:16
Last night W, S16 and I went to his high school as the student services had their college kick-off session. There was a lot of information about the college planning process and there were 4 admin counselors from nearby universities. It was a valuable night of information and we are so glad we went. I’m glad W is taking a more active role in S16’s college career. I think her and I can work together and get him into the school that best fits him and our budget.
When S16 and I got home we helped S13 with his advanced math homework and then headed to bed.
Journaling:
So, tonight W texts me that she wants to know if I'll be around this weekend? I text back that I have plans Friday and Saturday night, why? She says she wants to talk and if I'm available tonight. I say no that I have a little league meeting to attend. But I told her I will be home Saturday during the day, so she is coming over Saturday morning. Not sure what she wants to discuss but if I do not feel comfortable with the topic I'll just tell her that I need time to think about it.....
I did go to a little league meeting then walked for about an hour and baked Magic Cookie bars for the kids.
S16 and his girlfriend spent the evening researching colleges and making lists of which ones they are interested in attending.
Tomorrow, night I go to my support group meeting then we are going out for Mexican dinner and margaritas afterwards!!
On Saturday night some of the people from the support group are meeting up and going to the movies.
Should be another fun weekend!
PP, what movie are you going to see?
Well, found out today that W wants to dicuss S16 and colleges (so no biggie).
Anyway, my support group wants to go see "It's Complicated"...lol
Should be interesting to have a bunch of seperated and divorce people watching this movie.
I got a surprise gift last night from the little league board for volunteering my time to maintain their website. They gave me a gift card to a local restaurant
Had a fantastic day today. At group tonight we discussed how children handle divorce and how to help them heal and of course be there for them! Afterwards, we went out for drinks and appetizers at a local Mexican restaurant
There were 8 of us to go see "It's Complicated" and we all enjoyed it very much. Very funny, there were some scenes which were hard to watch in our sitches but I think it was worth seeing.
Today, relaxing and watching football....
Well, down the last couple of days, not sure why???
Had a great weekend and work has been good.
Anyway, have my IC tomorrow which is always helpful.
Did feel much better after Adoration tonight then came home and made fudge
I release and allow God's magnificence to flow through me. This little phrase is a powerful statement of Truth: Let go, let God. I know that when I cling to what I perceive as a problem, my mind races to try to fix it. In this mode, I am working the problem instead of allowing the solution. By releasing my grip, I allow divine wisdom to flow freely within me. Let go, let God, isn't about giving up; it is about going to the Source. Rather than casting my hands up in despair, I open my heart and mind and go within in prayer. In the silence, the answers I have been chasing rise to the surface easily. Miracles occur.
When I step out of the way and allow divine guidance to flow, I unleash the wisdom of God within me.
I can do nothing on my own. As I hear, I judge; and my judgment is just, because I seek to do not my own will but the will of him who sent me.--John 5:30
Doing much better the last day or 2
Did go to IC yesterday and had a good session. Go back at end of Feb.
Spent last night with the kids, my parents at my brother's house for dinner. Got to feed my niece her bottle and we watched some home videos from this past Christmas
No big plans for this weekend - need to catch up on laundry and watching some TV shows. Will walk with some friends tonight (lift weights after work) and tomorrow.
Big news: Received a bonus from my company today!!
Will use half of it to pay off my mechanic for repairs he did last April. He has been great in allowing me to make payments these last 10 months.
Did lift weights after work. Picked up pizza and wings for me and the kids. Then S13 and I went to visit my niece as my parents were babay-sitting and we played Yahtzee and had fun.
Tomorrow, will walk and then going to see "Up in the Air" with the women from my support group.
going with my brother & dad to meet some uncles for breakfast...this morning
Well, got my football winnings from my uncle at breakfast and it turned out to be 14 of us. Nice to see some family I don't get together with often
Today, my youngest turns 14!! Last night, he helped me bake a chocolate cake for his birthday.
My parents, brother, SIL their baby, my kids and I will go to S14’s favorite local restaurant and then back to my house to have cake and open presents.
Tomorrow, W and MIL are taking S16 & S14 to another restaurant for his birthday.
So, we took S14 out for dinner, then came home to have some cake and played bowling tournament on Wii
Hey,
Congrats on the S turning 14!
You ever thought about opening a bakery?
A lady who worked where I do for a long time, decided to start up her own bakery. After both working and running her shop for a short while, she quit to run it full time recently.
Actually, yes, I have been thinking about baking for a living more now. Many people have mentioned opening a bakery to me lately
I know it would be very hard work but I love to bake and could be fun. We actually could use a bakery in our neighborhood. Not sure if I'm ready to commit to the long hours yet........need to investigate it some more.
Ppenton -
I cook really well, but can't bake to save my life! I even burn the Pillsbury canned stuff!!! I'm jealous!
Well, I do cook but not much variety as I'm not as passionate about it as I am about baking. I do need a new stove/oven as my oven gets too hot and I'm always checking the temp while baking.
What kind of support group are you with? Church group? Are you the only stander?
What kind of support group are you with? Church group? Are you the only stander?
I go to a support group I found in a Catholic church (with the help of a local deacon) which has been a God send. It has really helped me deal with the various emotions and roller coaster rides one goes through in these types of situations. This group is designed to discuss a new topic each meeting from the book we received and a syllabus we follow. When I joined in February ‘09 the group just started with “Divorce and Beyond” book which we finished in May, then in the summer we continued to meet and discuss topics which we decided needed further review, such as anger or forgiveness.
In September, we started a new book “
Divorced. Catholic. Now What?”, we discuss the chapter and watch a video of real life people who have been through a divorce and they give their experience without any scripts just as they went thru and how they coped with each stage. There is a group of us from the main support group who have been doing things together outside of the scheduled meetings, such as going to the movies, dinner, etc….this has been a lot of fun! They all love my baking so I try to come up with new goodies each session.
I love the support and friendships I have built within the organization this past year. The people have really helped me grow and I can release my pain without any reservations. Besides myself there is one other stander (another man) but as I have said the people do support us in our decision and with God this has given me much peace. There are people in the group who are LBSs and WASs, ones who initiated a divorce and others who came home to an empty house. It’s a good variety of perspectives even though sometimes depressing to hear how people treat their spouses, the ones they promised to love forever.
In addition, I go to an IC about once a month (started out once a week) and he is great. He has helped me to grow, look inside and make changes so I could be an even better person. He has helped me build up my self-confidence which has spilled over into many areas of my life.
Hope this helps...
Baked chocolate drop cookies for tonight's meeting. After meeting going to someone's house for a gathering
Well, last night after the meeting and everyone ate my cookies
we went out for a few drinks and laughs.
Today will be busy.
Making buttermilk pancakes for me and the boys, then found a recipe for Buttermilk Cranberry Muffins, then go bowling with S14 and then go for a walk with a friend. Tonight, one of the women from the group volunteered to host a party so I’ll bring the muffins. This should be a lot of fun; kids are welcome, not sure if my have plans yet.
Hello,
I think you are fibbing about all these amazing treats you make. So, send some to me so I can see for myself
Hello,
I think you are fibbing about all these amazing treats you make. So, send some to me so I can see for myself
hehe...just ask my family and neighbors, they are complaining cause their gaining weight....maybe one day I'll open up a business and then all DBers can enjoy
also, went for a 5 mile walk with a friend. Then S14, my brother, SIL and I went bowling. Now getting ready for pary tonight
Met with W today to discuss our situation and about the kids.
I told her I would be doing the taxes soon and will decide if I will file jointly or separate after I determine which would be best for the kids and me.
I asked her if she had any plans yet for S14’s graduation in June, she said no. I told her I’m planning a party for him and his friends, she said that is a good idea.
We discussed some plans about taking S16 to different colleges over spring break and during the summer when his baseball schedule allows him time.
Then I asked her how she was doing and she said she has good days and bad days (this is what she always tells me) and that she has not contacted a lawyer or even started to research about divorce. She said she is not sure what she wants and mentioned we cannot afford a divorce anyway. I told her that the money should not be a factor and that divorce has crossed my mind more often now. However, I am not ready to file, one reason (which I didn’t say to W) is that she does give me enough money to help with the kids and household expenses. Another reason is I’m not ready to take this next step, so I’m taking my time and praying for guidance. She asked how I was and I told her that I have been spending a lot of time with friends, my niece and family and having a good time. I have not told her about the support group and the new friends I have gained from there. Ironically, I think she should go to a group support to help her heal but that is all up to her. She quit going to IC last May, however, she is talking with her mom more and the kids and W seem to be getting along better. I still think she needs to be with them more but at least she is more available than early on in her A.
So, we will continue with the separation and meet again on May 1 to sit down and have another discussion. We do see each other once in a while and now with the college search gearing up I’m sure we will be in contact more often.
She did tell me how guilty she feels and that I didn’t deserve to be hurt by her as I have been. I just said that people get selfish and do selfish things and there is not much one can do to control others.
We talked for a couple of hours then she gave me a hug and OM came to pick her up as she took some boxes of college information to go through.
Now, I’m baking for Super Bowl Sunday party, it will be so much fun!! My parents, brother, SIL and friends go to a church which hosts a party and we all have a great time.
Making:
Creamy Lemon Squares
Fudge
Chew Cocoa Brownies
Will also, squeeze in a walk sometime today
((((CG))))
You are so deserving of a good treat.....
Where do I sent them.....
Remember.... it is eatable, so needs to be sent where you can pick up...
post on "A Choice"
Smiles - I'll send ya, a yummy for ur tummy!
God Bless (patpat)Andy
BTW CG
Us fella's can cook.....