"Deception" - DivorceBusting.com

About Me: My W and I got married on my birthday 11/7/2006 shortly after our daughter was born in September. I'm 26 and my W is 25.

In the beginning: I worked with W before we M, and I really got connected with her because I helped her through a bad relationship. She was also going through alot of rebellion from her family due to being a preacher's daughter and being sheltered. I often invited her out to clubs and exposed her to another lifestyle. Eventually, we started dating and had our daughter out of wedlock.

Marriage: During our marriage, I was independent with my money and really took her for granted in the beginning. I truely gave my life to Jesus and became a different person than she married. When I became a Christian, our relationship began to change. I would go to church events, and she would stay home alone. I wasn't didn't give her any attention.

SHOCKER:
Around February 08, I found out that my W cheated on me by finding a love letter she wrote OM for Valentine Day. I confronted her W about the issue, and she denied it at first. Eventually, I forgave her, and we renewed our relationship. This was a shocker to me because I my W strongly opposed cheating and D in the beginning. This is one of the quality I loved about her.

ANOTHER SHOCKER: March 08
After having our D, W continued the party lifestyle. She met a guy a her workplace. I often questioned her always hanging out with him with friends, but she would deny things of course. W would say that he was just a friend, and also that she was trying to hook him up with one of her friends. Eventually, I found out W was having an EA with him because she left her Myspace page on the computer.

THE BOMB: April 08
My W told me that she ILYBNILWY and that she wanted a D. W told me that she would never be with me again etc. I broke every DB rule by begging, pleading, and buying gifts. I was totally crushed.

W got a lawyer and had D papers drawn up. She gave me the D petition to sign, but I refused. My W cussed me, hit me and totally talked me down to dirt.

From that point until today, my W has had period of acting like she wanted to restore our marriage. She went through phrases of mentioning the D and then acting like she wanted to be with me. She mentions D whenever she doesn't get what she wants. She also is still driving the OM car that she had the EA with and talking to him. She has also went through phases of kissing me, and apologizing for what she did.

I have been sticking it out for over a year now believing for the impossible. My W is my best friend but turns into a demon whenever I don't bow down and be her slave. Everything is all about her, and she does things that only benefit her. Since the bomb, I started treating her like a princess, but she has been taking advantage of me throughout the process.

On 6/13/09, she blew up again because I stopped giving her money and would get her a car. I also confronted her about not spending time with our D. She hit me, cuss me and told me to leave the house.

On 6/14/09, during the church service, my W was convicted because the message was on being committed to marriage etc. W went to the front for alter call and cried etc. When I got home, W asked for my wedding ring to show a friend that is getting M this weekend. I gave it to her thinking that she changed from being at the altar.

On 6/15/09. W calls asking me what I want on the D and also that I wasn't getting my ring back because I didn't need to wear it. I told her that it would be a contested D because I didn't agree with it. I received several text messages with her saying that I'm nothing to her anymore, and that she will have nothing to do with me unless it is about our D. She also said that I don't love her but just like the idea of being with her.

It is a long draw out story with tons of missing information. You will be able to get further details later. I'm continuing to be respectful to her regardless of how she treats me. I did slip up telling my daughter not to act like her mother when she was hitting on me in front of her. I was mad that my W would cuss and hit me in front of my D without caring.

Originally Posted By: ManofGod34

I have been sticking it out for over a year now believing for the impossible. My W is my best friend but turns into a demon whenever I don't bow down and be her slave. Everything is all about her, and she does things that only benefit her. Since the bomb, I started treating her like a princess, but she has been taking advantage of me throughout the process.

Well, here's your problem, MOG. "Respectful," yes, but "cake-eating, entitled princess," no. You are enabling the worst in her, in my opinion.

I'll have more later, but I wanted to put this thought out there. I have yet to see where this EVER works.

Puppy

I said I treat my W like a princess, but I meant I tried to redo the undesirable behaviors that I presented before. Like you said PDT, it isn't working. Mainly, because W knows I wants our marriage to work and is taking advantage of the situation. She is also a WAW that has recently came back home after about a year. About three weeks ago, W sent me a text that she doesn't want to let go of me but just doesn't want to be committed at the moment. W has been sending me alot of mixed signals lately. Now, she is back on the D issue becasue I'm detaching.

Have you read "No More Mr. Nice Guy"? It may really help you. I know, because I AM one (a "Nice Guy.") Women don't respect "Nice Guys" (there's a difference between being a strong man, who is nice, and a "Nice Guy"), and women also tie their feelings of "respect" VERY closely with their feelings of "love."

I'd suggest you seek out three posters -- Coach, Gucci Loafer and dburt -- and get some feedback from them. I can help you with the infidelity part, and give you some ideas for affair-busting and boundary-setting, but I think that is a secondary issue for you.

Puppy

Thanks PDT, you are right about the respect part. W has lost all respect for me as a person and H.

So what do you want to do?

In addition to "No More Mr. Nice Guy" and Michele's "Divorce Remedy," I'd strongly suggest "Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs," by Eggerichs. It's exceptional.

Puppy

At the moment, the best thing for me to do is focus on me and my D that is almost 3. My W has been luring me in for months then dropping the bomb over and over. W uses her parents and friends also. She thinks the world revolves around her. Of course, she wasn't like this towards me before we M. W was doing the samething she is doing with to her parents. Her father is a pastor and didn't put up with her clubbing etc. W eventually rebelled against her family and moved in with me secretly. She would park her car different places and tell them she was staying with different family members. When I got saved, W make comments that I act like her father. I think my lifestyle switch has alot to do with so of it. W doesn't view me as to fun party guy anymore and is getting attention from OM.

This would seem to be a spiritual war as much as a marital one.

Pray for her daily, that she softens her heart. My sister likes to say "God will break you, before He fixes you," but then she'll add "But you have to be WILLING to be broken, first."

So true.

Puppy

Originally Posted By: Puppy Dog Tails

So what do you want to do?

In addition to "No More Mr. Nice Guy" and Michele's "Divorce Remedy," I'd strongly suggest "Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs," by Eggerichs. It's exceptional.

Puppy

I love this book! I struggle with some of it while DH's behavior is so off, but I try everyday to implement the things I learned there. Two other good one are Captivating-Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman's Soul and Wild at Heart. The authors' last name is Eldridge--husband and wife. They are really good for understanding who God wants us to be as a man and a woman, not just as man and wife.

Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~
SMW

Thank God you understand that it is a Spiritual War too. I do pray for her daily with many people. My W was told by Benny Hinn and many other ministers that she has a calling on her life. W was sold out to Jesus during her youth but has been running from her calling during her teen years. As soon as, I totally gave my heart to Jesus, the problems began to happen. Believe me PDT, I has grown so much spiritually in the battle. I was so weak in the beginning, but I'm so much stronger today because of this. I have learned alot of things about myself too which I'm thankfully about.

Originally Posted By: Puppy Dog Tails

This would seem to be a spiritual war as much as a marital one.

Pray for her daily, that she softens her heart. My sister likes to say "God will break you, before He fixes you," but then she'll add "But you have to be WILLING to be broken, first."

So true.

Puppy

VERY true, Puppy.

God gives us free will, but He is a powerful motivator to get us to accept His will.

Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~
SMW

Thanks SMW! Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
I Corinthians 13:7

The word of God is and Jesus is the only way I'm able to endure this battle. I learned through this experience that it wasn't just W that brought problems to this marriage but me too.

Originally Posted By: ManofGod34

Thank God you understand that it is a Spiritual War too. I do pray for her daily with many people. My W was told by Benny Hinn and many other ministers that she has a calling on her life. W was sold out to Jesus during her youth but has been running from her calling during her teen years. As soon as, I totally gave my heart to Jesus, the problems began to happen. Believe me PDT, I has grown so much spiritually in the battle. I was so weak in the beginning, but I'm so much stronger today because of this. I have learned alot of things about myself too which I'm thankfully about.

Just realize that she has free will, and that His timing may not be yours. And that He may try to use this horrible situation to teach you things and grow you in ways that might initially seem painful.

That was (and still is) tough for me to understand. I'm usually like "Lord, your will be done, not mine," and then I complain and don't understand when He doesn't fix things the way I think they should be fixed!!

I guess that's the "my own understanding" part that I'm not supposed to be leaning on, eh??

Puppy

Yeah,I have told God many times that it's not mine will but yours. All things work together for the God. I have been learning to be patient and not try to be God.

I agree with PDT that this is a spiritual battle - our enemy is trying to destroy yet another marriage. I have my story elsewhere in this forum, but one of the things I failed to mention there is that part of the reason I think my H doesn't want me back is because I got saved about a year after we stopped living together, and he is not only a non-Christian but he hates all things Christian and pretty much all things from ANY established religion. He is really into the occult and paranormal stuff and so is his mother and also the woman I have been told he is dating although he has denied it. The fact that I am going to church every week and getting involved in church activities really bothers him. I've been surprised that he has allowed me to involve our son in it, I honestly expected he would sue for custody over my raising our son in a Christian environment. But apparently he'd rather do that than take on any responsibility as a parent and I guess I shouldn't complain since I don't want my child raised in a household controlled by the enemy.
But God can change the heart of any man (or woman). I would say continue to pray for your wife and for your marriage and don't agree to a divorce unless you feel that God has released YOU from the marriage. As well as the DB book, I would highly recommend that you read Love Must Be Tough by Dr. Dobson - it's a great book, especially for someone who admits they have spent too much time trying to save their marriage by giving in to their spouse's improper behavior.

Thanks TER! Yeah, the enemy wants to steal,kill and destroy our marriages. Most ppl divorce today like they are dating. We are both in spiritual battle but ours are different. My W is a preacher's daughter and grew up in church. W even Attends church but doesn't have the "fruit". W wrote me a letter months back telling me that she knows that she can't make it without Jesus and also that she needs to submit her life back to him. W told me to have faith in her that and that she loved me. Then friends etc stir W up, and she gets back on the D trial. God will get the glory in the end though!! I just have to be patient. God is working behind the scenes in our situations, and we will count everything all joy in the end.

Originally Posted By: ManofGod34

At the moment, the best thing for me to do is focus on me and my D that is almost 3. My W has been luring me in for months then dropping the bomb over and over. W uses her parents and friends also. She thinks the world revolves around her. Of course, she wasn't like this towards me before we M. W was doing the samething she is doing with to her parents. Her father is a pastor and didn't put up with her clubbing etc. W eventually rebelled against her family and moved in with me secretly. She would park her car different places and tell them she was staying with different family members. When I got saved, W make comments that I act like her father. I think my lifestyle switch has alot to do with so of it. W doesn't view me as to fun party guy anymore and is getting attention from OM.

That seems to be a recurring theme with WAW's.
Attention. The thrive on it, external validation from other men pumps their self-esteems artificially but take them out of that environment for a bit and you would notice they get moody, depressed, etc. They don't get their fix, they go into withdrawal.

Couple things to think about, I know I went through the entire range of changes. Being a nice guy (aka man exhibiting weak, wimpy, wussy behavior, acting like a martyr, look at me, don't you love me, after everything I've done for you, etc.), to be being the uber strong, ultra confident, strong willed man with boundaries who commanded respect from everyone. Now I'm looking for that middle ground and I think that's where you will need to be eventually but you have alot of growth to go through, I sense that when I read your posts.

You want your wife back. She knows it, she knows you want her back really badly. You are conquered, you present no challenge to her and that is boring to her so she'll take her time to make a decision with you and it will drive you crazy, it probably is right now.

One thing you need to make clear to yourself and really burn it into your brain: you need to love & respect yourself more than anyone else, more than your wife, more than your kids, etc. There's a reason for this. You will be the example for your children so that they develop healthy self-esteem, self-love & self-respect - they will learn not from your words, they will learn from your example, even at a young age, it's really the only way children learn. Become the best person you can possibly be for yourself.

Another thing you have to remember, women will not respect men who they can control. Your wife has a fair amount of control over you, admit it, you can feel it, she holds all the power and you just sit there and get your leash tugged on, that's gotta suck after a while.

The hardest thing to realize in all of this is that you have to be willing to let go of the people who don't love & respect you or value the relationship enough to do whatever it takes to fix it. You need to know & believe this and your wife needs to know that you finally know & believe this and it can't just be words coming out of your mouth, it has to be how you carry yourself around her.

Start limiting your contact with her, stop focusing on her. When she is nice & respectful to you, you mirror that and then some, smile, be happy and be a great person. When she starts acting hurtful & abusive to her, set her straight, tell her in no uncertain terms "I won't reward your crap behavior with my attention anymore, maybe the old me tolerated this before but I'm not that person anymore!" and then leave the room, leave the home, just leave the area and don't entertain her bratty behavior anymore.

When you start respecting yourself, when you start setting boundaries with how she can treat you and how you choose to live your life, you will see a difference in how she treats you and you will feel the difference in how you experience your life.

Have faith in God, definitely.
But remember, you are empowered by him to choose the shape & direction in your life. He won't wave his hand and make everything perfect for you, he has foreseen this path in your life and has given you the tools (regardless if you know it or not) to handle this situation in your life. You can't just pray to him for strength, you have faith in him, have faith that he has already given you the strength to deal with this in the right way, you must have faith in yourself, believe in your strength & ability and act accordingly. Don't wait for any special signs, if you pray to him, ask him for clarity on this part of your life and then every time something happens in an argument, in a hurtful behavior from your WAW, think about this clarity and think about how to proceed - many times you will get many revelations and many "AHA" moments and alot of times you will realize that your actions will be the opposite of what normal male logic would dictate in this situation.

You have prayed for strength, for resolution to your problems.
Have faith in God that he has given you the required ability to deal with this, pray for clarity on how to use your talents & gifts and fix this problem in whatever way the resolution manifests itself as.

From my own experience, a woman prefers a strong man, a confident man, a secure man, someone who will be reliable in the many ways that a man can be reliable (and that doesn't just involve paying bills & fixing things).

Don't be a wimp, Don't be an overly strong gorilla, find your middle ground and take it from there. Be the strong wall for your wife to lean on, up until this point she has been punching holes in your wall and breaking it down easily, time to show her that the wall is made of stronger stuff right now - if she tries to punch holes in your "wall", show her that it's stronger and won't be broken down anymore.

Good luck bro, I'm rootin' for ya!

Thank Robx!! You were right on brother!! Yeah, I have been portraying myself as a wimp and that is not who I was before. I was an All-Star running back that was very confident. W has been stomping me to the ground and destroying my self-image. It is my fault because I allowed it. Time for a change!! Your message was definately inspired by God.. I receive it!

I just went to Barnes & Nobles and bought "Love Must Be Tough"! Thanks!! I can't wait to read it.

My D2 babysitter called me today because D said she wanted to see me. D was laughing lots hearing my voice on the phone. That experience really touched my heart. This experience is what drives me to fight for my M. It is sad that the children has no clue what is going on but are affected mightily.

MOG--

This is my biggest struggle, too. I hate that my kids are in pain. Tonight, D6 begged her daddy not to leave, but he did. After he left, D6 prayed for daddy to know that we love him and God loves him and we all want him to come home to God and us.

As a product of divorce, I know the long term repercussions that this will have on the kids. It is awful!

Living God's blessings with grace nad dignity~
SMW

Love Must Be Tough is great. Lots os similarities between it and DB and DR.

I'm still praying for a good outcome for you, SMW. You deserve it, and so do your kids!

Keep the Faith!

Puppy

Thanks Puppy and I count on those prayers more than you know! Hey, you need to find me on FB. I am friends with coach, Greek, Kalni, and crew.

Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~
SMW

I don't know how to find any of them!

SMW, you would never believe what happened to me when I got off from work today..I go to visit my D2 today, and she tells W that she doesn't want to see daddy. D went on and on about it crying. It really torn me up inside. D just woke up and gets cranky. She never acts like that towards me though. Just earlier today,she wanted to see me badly. This is going to be a long journey.

must be cool having a two yr old. well the cool part would be just "having" her and admiring her as she grows and learns. taking care of her and all those nuances .. that is the challenge to be a great Dad ...I would imagine, though my experience at it was short-lived. tremendously rewarding though.

Indeed it will be a long journey. Just imagine though, you could be one of the many who attempt it while discarding all the Lord's help and constant strengthening. You are not though!

Praise Him now & always.

T

YEAH T! It is so much easier going through trials with Jesus than without. I honestly don't know where I would be without him.

Yesterday, I had a great day with my D2. I hugged and kissed her for a long time. It was such a great feelings. We take so much for granted until it is gone.

W tried to pressure me into signing an uncontested D paper by Fri. I told W that I didn't agree with it, and she would have to file a contested. I totally let W know that I wasn't holding her in a cage another more, and she was being set free. W's attitude completely changed..W started being nice to me because W knows she cheated on me. W knows that she has the possibility of me getting custody etc. It was great that I regained the respect and authority by just letting her go into God's hands. I feel so much better because the fear of D doesn't have control over me. I'm still believing for the impossible, but I have to take my focus off her.

Excellent! It's very liberating, ain't it??

Just be wary of her next moves, as she will grow increasingly desperate. PRAY FOR DISCERNMENT, and wisdom, DAILY. You will see some "crocodile tears" very soon, methinks.

Puppy

Yeah PDT...W is getting desperate already. She is being extremely nice and trying to straighten her act up being a mom. You are right...I have to discern her motives. I have been hurt by W several times by letting my guard down and her bringing up the D when she can't fake any londer.

On 7/21/09, W texted me to inform me that she would be picking up D from my house at 4:30pm. I told W that I would drop her off at her place instead. W kept insisting that she pick up our D instead. I finally agree to allow her to pick D up. There is a catch...

OM works at the IP Casino near my mom's house where I'm currently staying. W picks up my D, and my mom saw W drive into the IP parking lot. OM comes to W car and kisses her in front of D. W is finally exposed... Even though I had a notion that the relationship was going on.

After that incident, W didn't want me coming by her house and threatened to call the cops if I came. She also didn't allow me to see my D. W also stated that she was scared I would leave the country with our D etc. I decided not to make a big ordeal and try to pick our D up. I waited.

Eventually, W started being nice again probably after talking to her lawyer. I ended up keeping my D over the weekend.

Now, W is stating that she is getting her life straight and stopped smoking. She is acting like nothing happened.

W stated that she filed for D about a week and a half ago. I checked but there is no record. I checked because I'm in the process of filing for D. I've recently been focusing on me and my D2. I feel so great to have that burden off me of trying to figure out my W. I'm not giving up on my M, but she will come back to me humbled if she wants me.

MOG - Can I ask you straight up. You said when you first met your W, you "helped her through a bad relationship". Does that mean you were having an affair with her while she was in this other relationship? Please be honest.

DQ

DQ-My W was a totally different person when I met her. We worked together at Wal-Mart in the near the same area. W was a person that would never cheat on her bfs and had great qualities. W would discussed with me how her Bf at the time was cheating on her. Me along with other people explained to her to dump him. We grew close from talking and hanging out. Over time, we got married. I was single at the time, and I would never have a affair.

OK good, thank you! Just making sure. :0)

Hi MoG, I am glad you came to our community here on the DB board. You will find a lot of good folks and the support that you need. People here "know" what you are going through like nobody else understands, and they know what you need to hear. I was almost a WAW after many years of M, but I "didn't" leave and I have remained in the M with my H and we are doing good. So, I hope that may offer some encouragement to you.

I do want to talk to you about your W and her coming from a preacher's family. You were the totally opposite person that her father could have chosen for her to get hooked up with. Right? That was the very reason she was attracted to you in the first place! Think about it. She would not have given you the time of day if you had been a "goodie-two-shoes" Christian back then. She sneaked around to be with you. The two of you lived together out of wedlock and she got pregnant. How better to embarrass her father? This could have been at an unconscious level, but I think it was there--for no telling how long back.

You see, preacher's children have issues to face that the other kids never deal with. All their life they have been told by their parents...and especially Church people...that they are to be an "example" for others. They get to the place that they hate that word...example! They don't want to be separated from the world...as they hear taught in Sunday School. They want to be like the other young people--and blend in.

When they are in elementary school, the other kids try to place them in a different category from the "regular" kids and they call them "PK" and stuff that makes them feel "different". They don't want to be different.....they want to "belong" with everyone else! So, the desire to be like the others start young. Many, many preacher's teenagers rebel big time b/c they hate the isolation and the "label" that the other kids have tried to put them in when they were going through elementary, so by the time they get to high school (or younger), they are mad and have decided to prove to everyone that they can get down in the gutter better than their peers. And so, they do! That is why you read and hear about so many preacher's kids (and other Church leaders' kids.....not just "preacher's kids") getting into all kinds of trouble and/or leaving the Church and their Christian home--and living like the devil. They decide early on that they want no part of what they were subjected to when growing up! Many of them say they were "forced" to go to every Church service, and so when they became 18 years of age .....they turned away from everything their parents stood for. Many Christian parents have been heartbroken at the behavior of their kids, but none are in the position that the "Pastor" is in b/c he is expected to lead his own home to be "godly" and people judge him when his kids turn out less than perfect. Now tell me I'm wrong and we may go to fist-city! (Just kidding)

Listen, I have been close to this situation and I've seen it over and over with preacher's families and other leaders in the Church. Some of their grown children never live a Christian life after they are on their own as adults. They are "drawn" to that party lifestyle partly b/c they know it is "sinful" and therefore, it attracts their sin nature.......so that is where they decide to spend their life. Many of these grown children of preachers will have a very rough & tumble life b/c of their waywardness and rebellion toward God, their parents, the Church,......and basically anyone in authority over them. That last part shows up more as they get more rebellious. They do not like anything that places them in a situation where they feel controlled and made to do anything they don't want to do.

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I truely gave my life to Jesus and became a different person than she married.

And this is where the trouble started! She did not "want" you to be a church-going person. That was the last thing on earth she intended to end up with was a H who was a dedicated church-goer. I mean, she worked to get away from that environment she grew up in...and now look what you went and did! So, she rebelled against you and your involvement in the church.

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I would go to church events, and she would stay home alone. I wasn't didn't give her any attention.

Probably, as a new Christian you were "carried away" with all your spiritual excitment and couldn't get enough of what the Church offered. When a person is truly "saved".....that is normal for them to be filled with the Spirit and crave all that the Church offers. Maybe you didn't realize you were not giving her the attention she needed. I'm sure you no longer had any desire to party and do as before. She did not want to accept that b/c it would be like going back home and living with her father (the preacher) again. "You" represent her father in her life right now, so she is fighting to get as far away from you as she did her parents. But, for the record.....did you know that you were not giving her attention?

So, then it led to her having an EA. Are you really surprised? You did not give her attention, so she found somebody that would. Why do men not realize this will happen?

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I often questioned her always hanging out with him with friends, but she would deny things of course.

By hanging out with him and friends......do you mean she was with him outside of the workforce? If so.....what did you think about it? Apparently, you must have thought something or you would not have questioned her about "hanging out" with them. Red flags flying!

I want to make sure I have this right. In Feb. of 2008, she had the first EA. Then the next month in March, she had the baby. The same month (?) she has the second EA. Is that correct? Then the third month she drops the bomb! Amazing!

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She mentions D whenever she doesn't get what she wants.

Hummmm, does she also throw little fits along with the threats?

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She also is still driving the OM car that she had the EA with and talking to him.

Look, if she's driving the man's car....don't you think it has gone beyond an EA?

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Since the bomb, I started treating her like a princess

I would call you a "fool" but the Bible tells us not to call anyone that!

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but she has been taking advantage of me throughout the process.

OH!.....NO KIDDING???

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I also confronted her about not spending time with our D. She hit me, cuss me and told me to leave the house

And......what did you do after she treated you in this manner?

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during the church service, my W was convicted because the message was on being committed to marriage etc. W went to the front for alter call and cried etc.

I've seen this happen before and it does hurt when you discover it was an act or else it didn't "take". But after she did what she did with the "ring" then you should beware and do not trust her, do not believe what she says, and do not believe what she does. Not at this time--and not for a long time...will you be able to trust her. It is not what you "want".....it is what it is right now!

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I'm continuing to be respectful to her regardless of how she treats me.

Satan get thee behind me, b/c I am wanting to scream "FOOL....FOOL....FOOL"

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I did slip up telling my daughter not to act like her mother when she was hitting on me in front of her. I was mad that my W would cuss and hit me in front of my D without caring.

Let me tell you something young man and you better get this and get it straight.....DO YOU HEAR ME? No woman can stomach a man who acts like this! Do you think this is the role God intended for a "man" created in His own image would act? NO! God intends for you to step up and act like a MAN. You sit there in the presence of your child and allowed this woman to cuss you and hit you? Did she spit in your face as well? She might as well had. Did you think you were being a martyr or something? Did you think that was how Jesus would do? Well, you are wrong b/c He would not have sit there and allowed her to do that. He was a real man and the only time He took any treatment like that was when He went to the Cross......and that was a totally different "reason".

Anyway...you paved the road for her disrespect for you and the more you treat her like a "princess", the more she will despise you. Yes, despise! And, I don't think you even want me to get started on how watching her daddy take this mess has affected your daughter. You are the first man in her life that she will love. Look at the message you are telling her how a man acts. Do you want her to grow up and act like your wife is behaving? Well, she will if you don't step in and show this little girl how a "real" man should behave.

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but I meant I tried to redo the undesirable behaviors that I presented before.

Well, this is not how you do it. You have much to learn about women. You are doing completely opposite from what she needs.....and what she desires.....even if she doesn't know herself at this point--what she really wants.

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Mainly, because W knows I wants our marriage to work and is taking advantage of the situation.

No...she is taking advantage of you b/c you are showing her that you are weak and she can hit you and cuss you to your face and you'll still treat her like a princess. Do you know why she is probably attracted to "bad boys"? B/c they treat her like dog poop! Yep, that's it in a nutshell. You observe young women who were raised in good Christian homes and see how many of them go after the "bad boy" image. It seems the worse the bad boy treats the girl....the more she is attracted to him. I'm not telling you that you should abuse your W, I'm just trying to cause you to see what you are doing is turning her away as fast as she can run. That stuff you are doing is completely opposite from what she is truly attracted to. You may not understand the logic (and there is no "logic") but you don't have to understand.....just "deal" with it and accept it for what it is.

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Mainly, because W knows I wants our marriage to work and is taking advantage of the situation.

How have you detached?

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W was doing the samething she is doing with to her parents

Yes, I think I pointed that out before I read this statement. She is a "user". She mistreats people. If she doesn't get her way, she threatens or uses her anger (which you better watch her with the baby b/c she could become abusive) and any other methods she can find to make them do what "she" wants. Yes, she does think the world revolves around her......and she will probably continue to think this for a very long time.

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Thank God you understand that it is a Spiritual War too.

Listen to me, sweetie.....I understand also. I understand spiritual warfare! But you are not rightly dividing the truth here, and I think for one thing...you just don't understand the "how-to". I know in your heart you think you have done what a "Christian" should do toward a wayward wife. I truly believe that. But you are not using spiritual discernment in your stitch.

I am so glad you got the book, "Love Must be Tough". It is very informative and probably "shocking" to a lot of Christians b/c they think that they are suppose to suck it up and take whatever is dished out to them by their spouse.....and that is not the way it should be. Listen to Dr. James Dobson in that book. He tells it like it "really" should be.

I am very glad that you found the Lord and are doing your best to serve Him and live a Christian lifestyle. However, I believe a lot of young born-again Believers are either taught improperly or they have people who tell them stuff that is not the real way to work through things.....I don't know how to explain to you what I want to say. I have seen so many young Christians who were not taught how to have discernment in their life and they strive so hard to do what they "think" they should do as a Christian. I can't go into everything in this first post, but I hope I can have an opportunity to talk to you again.

I was saved when I was just a kid and lived my whole life before the Lord--and did my best to please Him. The time I strayed and become involved in playing Internet games and met the OM on-line, and had an EA, was the only time that I got away from God....spiritually. I knew that I "had" to get right with Him again b/c I could not live any other way. Not this gal. I claimed His forgiveness (I John 1:9) and have done my best to move forward in His love and mercy. Just wanted you to know that personal history about me.

You have a hard road ahead of you, but if you will get tough and man-up.....you can become the person that God meant for you to be. That person is suppose to have a lot of self-respect and self-assurance and "spunk". You are not to lay down and be a doormat. Stop taking this awful....awful treatment from your W. She will treat you the way you allow her to treat you. We "teach" people how they can treat us.....did you know that? Our attitudes tell people what we expect from their behavior toward us....and that is how they respond. That is what your W has been doing. You need to change that expectation of her and stand up to her. I'm not telling you to be ugly....you can act like a man without being mean, abusive, or offensive in any way.

I must stop b/c I have made this post very long. I want to help you, if I can. This is important to me and I hope that you will return and keep coming back to this board. Through the help that came through this board, God taught me what I needed to hear and it saved my M. You may get what we call a 2x4, but if that is what it takes....then so be it. In the end.....you will be a much better person and much happier.

I'll check back with you. Please take care of yourself and make sure your baby is taken care of properly.

Sandi

Sandi, thank you soo much for your response. I receive it!! Yeah, I was a fool. I have been beating myself up over it since I gave her my ring.

I really took my W for granted before she cheated on me. I never pictured her as being a cheater since she was strongly against it and also D. I didn't realize until it was too late that I wasn't paying any attention to my W while I was going to church.

The day my W was hitting on me and cussing me in front of D2, I had to man up and restrain her against the wall. I blocked the hits and eventually stopped her by restraining her. The point is that W got to the level to where she hit me. She not only doesn't respect me but hits her mother like that too. You explained her to the T Sandi. I have grown closer to God since this trial has been going on. I say I was recently truely saved, but I grew up in church too. I was drawn to my W because I saw characteristics that I wanted in a W. I felt like I could trust her and that she really loved me. I got a curve ball right?

Sandi you are completely right...She thinks of me as her father and has rebelled against me. W told me that she always wanted a H that was in love with the lord but doesn't know what she wants now that she has one. W wrote me a letter stating that she fell in love with the old person I was. I wasn't a bad person but was living a sinful life. I used to bring her to the clubs and was very wild. She misses that wild side of me and bad boy image your talking about.

After being hit in the head, I have finally detached. I'm not allowing her to control my life anymore. I hate I allowed her to beat me down like that for so long. Yeah, Dr.Dobson was real in his book. I was doing everything opposite of what he said to do.

Your post blessed me. I will receive that rebuke. : ) Keep writing please.

MoG, I'm so glad that you explained a little more about this:

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I had to man up and restrain her against the wall. I blocked the hits and eventually stopped her by restraining her. The point is that W got to the level to where she hit me. She not only doesn't respect me but hits her mother like that too.

At least now we know that you did try to restrain her. Has her mother allowed her to strike her before? Does her father step in and try to do anything with her? I guess I'm wondering if she did this in the past or if it has started since the M problems. I can't believe her parents would take that from her! Has she always had a violent temper? I am very concerned about the baby. She sound out of control and when a person stricks people she is around while angry.....the baby may be next. She is an explosion everywhere she goes.

It is good that you have detached. Very good! As you have seen, her moods swing wildly. You will never know what to expect from her. I think that you need to protect your daughter from her and you need to drop any emotional ropes you have tied to her and live your life focused on the Lord and continue to detach from her. Let her work her own "issues" out without you involved b/c she will wreck you if you let her. It won't be easy, but you CAN do it. God will give you the strength as long as you depend on Him.

We will be here to try to encourage you and pray with you as you take this journey. I know that M is very serious, but I also know that God gives us second chances at life here on planet Earth. If she is determined to live a life that does not include the Lord, you and/or the M.....then you need to make a life apart from her. God can do miracles and we never know what may be around the corner. Put God in charge and then keep your eyes on what He does. You are going to be okay, but please keep coming back and talking b/c you WILL gain strength from this board.

Hope you have a good night.

Sandi

Sandi2,W had an episode before we got M where she hit her mom for going to my house to talk with my mom. She has always had a violent behavior from what I hear from her family. W's parent can not do anything with her rebellious nature. When her dad tries to talk to her, she tells him to stop being a preacher and be her dad. Her father just doesn't have a backbone to stand up to her. W is presenting the same behavior as her mom. W's mom talks down on her dad and doesn't support his ministry. She just lays in the bed all day due to a conflict that she had in the church.

My W was raised around this undesirable behavior and is just acting like her mom. Another key fact is that my W was molested by her adopted brother at a young age. Her brother is about 6 years older. She has alot of issues wrong with her on top of having to present herself a certain way due to being a PK. At this point, W just wants control of her own life and is being self centered.

I was warned by many people not to M her my W, but I didn't see the other side of her until I got M. Her mom's BF told me about her and even her mom tried to warn my mom about her when she came over that day.

Through this experience, I have grown closer to Jesus though. I would have been at this point without this trial. I discerned alot of things, but I continued to allow her to run over me which was sad. I keep believing for the impossible holding on to my W. God wanted me to let her go so he could work. I still rejoice because I know God has something mighty for me.

I left out alot of details in my intial post because it so much. I came off as being more foolish that I was. I have to admit that I was allowing her to treat me like a doormat. I have totally detached now though.

This board is truely a blessing to many people that are going through trials of D. I thank you for standing with me during this time in my life and also for your prayings. I will suffer for Christ's sake, but I will be use his wisdom. You are right...Jesus wasn't a wimp. He is the King of Kings. We need to walk in the authority that he has given us and not be wimps.

Ohhh, that's bad.

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Her father just doesn't have a backbone to stand up to her.

That's even worse!! No wonder she treats you like she does! So, she's copying her mother's behavior she grew up watching......just as I previously said your D would do.

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God wanted me to let her go so he could work.

And isn't it just like us to get in His way of working with folks? You know, God is quiet the gentleman and will step aside as long as "we" are trying to fix people. Glad you see it.

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I left out alot of details in my intial post because it so much. I came off as being more foolish that I was. I have to admit that I was allowing her to treat me like a doormat. I have totally detached now though.

I am very relieved to know that. I was more than just concerned......I was upset with you. Or..could you tell?

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I will suffer for Christ's sake, but I will be use his wisdom.

To those that where much is given; much is required. But, you can do all things through Christ which strengthens you. I do not know how an unbeliever gets through the trials of life.

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We need to walk in the authority that he has given us and not be wimps.

There you go! And, what "more" assurance can a person get than having that of God? You have nothing to fear and everything to gain as long as you put yourself in God's hands b/c He has a plan for your life and as long as you are obedient to Him....you will be at peace.

So good to hear you say these things!

Later,
Sandi

Sandi, Since I have detached from my W, she is using my D2 as a tool against me. She sent me a text today telling me to communicate with her and also that she wasn't going to let me see my daughter unless I do. Then my W sent another text asking me what I was doing with my D2 this weekend...My W is still trying to play games with me and also control me. A few days ago, she was begging me to get off early today to get our D2. She claimed that she had to study for a test. Now, let her know that I'm getting off early, and she tells me that our D2 is going swimming with some other kids. She is trying to provoke me into whining and complaining. I'm going to stand my ground this time and not give into her foolishness.

I'm also in the process of filing for D next week. I'm believing for the impossible but God isn't limited to only work while we are legally M. Plus, I don't want to be with someone that continues to lie,commit adultury and treat our D2 like a Barbie doll.

It's just ridiculous that someone could be so self-centered though. Yesterday, she sent me a text begging me not to drag the D out because she is starting Nursing school next year. How selfish is that? I'm not claiming to be perfect, but I at least die daily and learn from my mistakes.

Man, that is terrible! Are you going to file for custody of your little girl? I think your W is a very unstable parent and is also violent with "adults"--which puts the baby at risk of possible abuse. Is your D lawyer going to deal with that or would that have to be a different court case?

Do you have parents or anyone that could help you if you had custody of the child?

What your W is doing is beyond immaturity. It is crazy! Your lawyer needs to hit her with everything he can. Although, if she's not protesting the D, then I suppose it makes no difference about that part. Have you said anything about custody or have you considered it?

Originally Posted By: ManofGod34

Sandi, Since I have detached from my W, she is using my D2 as a tool against me. She sent me a text today telling me to communicate with her and also that she wasn't going to let me see my daughter unless I do. Then my W sent another text asking me what I was doing with my D2 this weekend...My W is still trying to play games with me and also control me. A few days ago, she was begging me to get off early today to get our D2. She claimed that she had to study for a test. Now, let her know that I'm getting off early, and she tells me that our D2 is going swimming with some other kids. She is trying to provoke me into whining and complaining. I'm going to stand my ground this time and not give into her foolishness.

I'm also in the process of filing for D next week. I'm believing for the impossible but God isn't limited to only work while we are legally M. Plus, I don't want to be with someone that continues to lie,commit adultury and treat our D2 like a Barbie doll.

It's just ridiculous that someone could be so self-centered though. Yesterday, she sent me a text begging me not to drag the D out because she is starting Nursing school next year. How selfish is that? I'm not claiming to be perfect, but I at least die daily and learn from my mistakes.

How long have you been DB'ing, has it been a while?
Filing for divorce would be considered LRT, last resort technique, have you tried everything else yet?

Sandi, Yeah, I'm going to file for full custody with my W having visitation rights. Of course, she wants custody of D2, but she isn't capable of caring for her properly. My mom is going to help me with my D2. At first, I was going to do joint custody,but W isn't being responsible.

She ended up calling me and letting me know my D2 was ready to be picked up. When I arrived, she kept trying to get me to speak to her. My W said are you going to say bye? I said Bye...She is getting frustrated about me being short and straight to the point with her. W is getting the picture now. Her attitude is changing slowly. She still has alot of growing up to do.

God gave me many signs that I would have died spiritually and been a emotional wreck if I would have continued allowing my W to destroy me.

Robx,I haven't been DBing that long but it is time to move on. I'm still believing for the impossible, but I have to let go of her. I will focus on myself, Jesus and my D2. I was killing myself trying to please my W. She had no respect for me because I was doing the opposite of what I was suppose to do. I'm still standing for my M though.

Hi Rob,

(MOG, please excuse me for hijacking. But I wanted to explain to Rob why I have supported your decision. Rob has been around long enough to know my posts pretty well.)

The wife is a a physiological mess, and he does need to distant himself and his little girl from her. I'm glad he can drop the rope and also file for custody for D2 b/c W has violent temper and hits other adults when angry. I worry about the D2's welfare.

I do not suggest this type of advise except under extreme circumstances and I feel that "this" is one of those times.

I hope the W can get professional help b/c she has a lot of very serious issues. Her parents apparently did not do a very good job and from M.O.G.'s information, her dad (the preacher) was not the "man" of the house like he should have been and mother was a b*tch from h3ll. Sure hope little girl doesn't grow up to be another "copy" of those two women in her life!

Later,
Sandi

How are you doing, ManOfGod?

Sandi, My W has been playing games with me. Mainly with my visitation with my D2. Then when I confront her about it she acts like I'm the bad guy.

My W really has alot of growing up to do. She expects me to be a mother and a father to our D2 while she spends money on buying herself things. She turns things around like I'm not being a responsible Father.

Since my mom caught her kissing OM with my D2 in the car, she has been on her best behavior and acts like nothing happened. If her past is mentioned, I'm being Satan trying to tear her to pieces. She really is being manipitive. It is a tought battle, but I will get through it. I don't know her anymore. One minute she is mean and the next she is Satan himself.

I want my M to work, but it will take a miracle to change her behavior. I know God is able, but I have to get my focus off her. My W is still talking to OM but very low key. I'm continuing to detach though. It is kind of tough to detach how I want though since we have a child together.

I can't remember if you mentioned this, but if your finances had not been spilt from her and your name taken off her credit cards, etc., she will put you in the poor house.

Is there any person you could trust to be your "go-between" in getting your child for the visitation times? I read a great thread about a man who stood up to his WAW and told her that he would never let her know his phone number, mailling address or where he lived. She would not be able to TM him or send emails. He would change everything and he would have another person to pick the kids up and deliever them. If she needed to be told anything, he would have that person to give her a message. He meant to be out of her life forever! Now, she really took notice to that and straighten her little act up. I am not saying "your" W would, but you might want to consider getting a good friend or relative who would agree to do that for you. It would have to be a strong person who she could not back down and use her tricks on. A person who would simply pick up the child, deliever her to you and then take her back home. He/she would deliever any messages between you and W (but only important things...not this silly stuff). There aren't too many people who would be willing to be put in that position, but you may have somebody. Something I would consider if I were in your place. I know you don't want to do that, but she will continue to do this number on you as long as she has the power to do it. That power must be taken from her before it stops.

Take care,
Sandi

Sandi2, My W has already put me in deep debt and is trying to run away debt free. Everything is in my name because of her credit being bad. I had to freeze a credit card I let her use awhile back and also a debit card. It is sad when you can't trust your spouse with finances. This was a big issue in the beginning of our M too.

My W can't stand anybody in my family for some odd reason. Nobody has done anything to her but recognized her bad treatment of me. She really can't stand my mom because she took over the car notes on the Jeep and has been driving it since our separation. My W gave me the phone I bought her,her wedding rings and also the Jeep when I found out about OM in April 08. Now, she regrets giving up the Jeep of course and hates me mom even more for driving what she call "her car". God truely was protecting me in that situation with the Jeep. I'm glad her self centerness worked against her in that.

I don't have a go-between person, but your right Sandi about that. I really need to stop all contact with her. Yesterday, W asked me if I wanted to keep D2 while she went to class since I was off on holiday. Later on that day, W sent me a text begging me to watch D2 a few more hours because she has been under alot of stress this week and needed to prepare for her test. I stood up to her and told her I was bring D2 back in a few minutes as bad as I wanted to spend more time with her. My mom actually has been on me too about standing up to W and not allowing her to treat me like a doormat any longer.

When I arrived to the drop off point, W started asking me to get D2 diapers because she only had two left. Keep in mind that I just bought groceries and diapers for my house and also a few things to be nice for W's house. I simply told her I would buy diapers. W said today, and I didn't answer. I think it is ridiculous that she can pay to get her hair dyed but can't buy $10 diapers. She has to start being responsible as a mother too don't you think? W tries to picture me as not being responsible if I don't provide for both households. I'm not the one that caused the separation and is living in adultury. This atitude stems from her Dad providing for their family, and W's mom just laying in the bed all day. All her mom does is eat and go shopping. They have someone living with them that cooks and cleans. The lady that cleans etc tried to warn me not to marry my W, but I didn't listen.

Well, I won't bog everyone down with this post...

Later, MOG

Don't worry about "bogging everyone down" with your concerns. That is why we are here--to share each other's burdens.

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She has to start being responsible as a mother too don't you think?

Yes, but that would be expecting her to be responsible "if" she was a normal person. I don't think she is normal in the sense of emotions. It has me very concerned. She has so much hatred in her and that is one reason she is taking you to the cleaners by way of "debt". She thinks if she can ruin you that way, then she'll do it. I am afraid that she is in for many, many bad years ahead, and anyone she hooks up with will suffer at her hands.

I talked to a LBH yesterday about his lack of detachment with his WAW b/c he said he was doing "what Jesus would do". Many people have the wrong concept about that and about Christians letting others walk all over them. So, don't think that you standing up to your W would not be acting like a Christian. Men are taught to have respect and if a W won't willingly give it, then a man has to "man-up" and stand up to that W. Not a pleasant task, but needs to be done. Of course, nothing physical involved.

She is a woman with lots of problems and I think the sooner you can get your little girl away from her and get her out of your life, the much better both of you will be. I think she is dangerous.

Take care,
Sandi

Sandi, You are right on about some Christians not walking in authority. Jesus never allowed the Scribes and Pharisee's run over him. He spoke the truth with authority and power.

I'm paying for my misconception of laying down my life for my W right now. There is a big different in laying down your life and allowing her to completely treat u like a piece of garabage.

The bad thing about my W is that her sister who is the lead singer in the church, also is just as bad. She gives her bad advice and wants her to be miserable. Her sister would tell me that I was the best thing that has ever happened to my W but tell my W that she could do better. I'm dealing with alot of two faced people in her family. She goes to a family church which can have its strongholds.

When my W first gave me her petition for D, she told me that I better get a lawyer. I told her that I have the best lawyer ever. I typed up scripture my petition and went over it with her. It was scripture concerning D. Since we are both "Christians", I thought I should make it known to be being her H. My W justified it by saying her aunts that go to church got a D. I did this during my begging and pleading stage, but I felt obligated to do this though. As I look back, I don't regret doing that. I think in order for my W to grow spiritually, she is going to have to find another church to attend. I felt lead to attend another church this past Sunday, and it was confirmed by several people that I would die spiritually if I stayed at my W's father's church. This subject is a whole issue in itself.

Sandi, you are right about my D2 being away from my W. I know eventually as my D2 aging, my W is going to flip out on her because she already can't discipline her now. All my W does is buy my D2 toys, and I mostly discipline her.

My W paints a beautiful picture of herself until people figured her out. She treats her friends like royalty. My W always tells they she loves them before hanging up. She would do anything for them. She really has her priorties messed up. When OM finds out how she really is, he will be in a mess.

I know it must be very hard to understand these things as a young Christian. I would like to suggest something to you....as one Christian to another. I am very aquainted with "family" churches. In many cases, it is not a good situation. I can tell you that you will be hindered by this D and this family as long as you attend that Church. You really would be "free" to focus on your spiritural growth by going to a different congregation. As long as you go where her family members are attending, there will be contention. You will be so distracted by the trouble within the family (which will eventually run over into trouble in the Church) that you will not mature in your walk with Christ.

I believe you are as earnest as any young Believer I have had the privildge of knowing. I would hate to see Satan win the victory in your life. He may get "this" battle where your W and the M is concerned......but he doesn't have to win the war over your life on earth.

Take care,
Sandi

I thank you for being a vessel that God can work through to touch the many people on this board. You are sharing the love of Jesus to so many people without having to say who you serve.

Sandi, you don't have to tell people because they see the fruit...

Yeah, God warned me through several people that I would die spiritually in my W's church and also continuing to allow her to destroy my heart.

I'm doing great though...I joined my older brother's softball team and played in a game Weds night. It was also to GAL. It took my mind off of my W and allowed me to be around people that enjoyed me.

Since the last two weeks, My W has been refusing to allow our D2 to spend time with my away from W's house.

W has filed for D and is trying to get full custody and completely take me to the cleaners. She even had they schedule to serve me at my workplace. All of this has angered me, but at the end of the day I still love her. I didn't realize how much I loved her until I found myself not being able to hold any of this against her.

A couple of days ago, I went to Ws place to visit with D2. Ws father mentioned that W is just reacting out of fear thinking that I will keep D2 and not bring her back. I explained to both of them that I could but didn't want to cause confusion etc. D2 was eager to see me and was crying wanting to leave with me. It was a horrible experience. W's dad mention that his heart's desire would be for us to reconcile and also that he mention marriage counseling to W. He stated that W told him that I wouldn't do it. The next day W sent me a text asking me would I consider marriage counseling. I explained to her that it would have to come from her heart. W sent a text back stating how do you know if it isn't. W has been so deceitful lately.. She could be trying to reconcile to throw out the Adultery complaint etc.

Yesterday, she was laughing and flirting with me as I spent time with D2. It really brought back memories of how we use to be, but she didn't mention counseling. I wasn't going to pursue her either. I went over her house after my Softball game. W made a comment about asking where I came from. She didn't know if I was working out or played a game. I think the GAL is working. I'm not being a doormat anymore and ultimately the respect is coming back.

As the D is looming, I will continue to work on me and make improvements.

It sounds like you have made a vast improvement on yourself. Very glad to hear what you've accomplished.

I know you want to save your M. I think you've learned to be very cautious where your W's techniques are concerned. I would not give in easily to her requests. I agree that she should truly want very much to work on the M....and I have doubts she has reached that place yet.

My W called me Friday on my day to pick up D2. She asked me if I would go to the movies with D2 and her to watch a movie that night. I told W that I wasn't going to go as a family due to her recently filing for D just weeks ago. I told W that I would do things as a family once she dropped the D and showed that she was serious etc. W stated that I rejected her and got off the phone being upset.

When I got off from work, I went to pick up D2 from W. She was going to deny me taking since she planned to take her to the movies. I explained to W that she should have taken D2 during the day before I got off. W asked me again to go to the movies and I further stated that I wasn't going. W ended up agreeing to let me take D2 to stay with me for the weekend after a long drawn out disagreement on things.

Today, I drop D2 off so W can get her ready for church. W intentionally was trying to seduce me by waking around me naked. I tried to leave several times so I didn't slip up but W asked me to help her get D2 ready. While getting her ready, W mentioned some romantic movie that is coming out in a fews days that she wants to see. W said that she didn't have a date and would take her mother most likely. She asked me if I would take her but I told her no.

My W is trying hard to get me to slip up. I'm very proud of myself though. W did look super hot though. I just tried my best not to look at her and act uninterested. She even asked me if I thought she was fat etc. I didn't answer that question.

I still got in trouble for not answering anyways.

If she wants to really work on the M, she will drop the D and show me that she is serious. Plus I was just served the D papers on the 28th. Until then, I will continue on the single dad path.. Working on me and my relationship with God.

I tell ya... Deception will tear you up if you can't decern it.

You mean to tell me that she was totally naked? How immature is that??

Listen, it is all about control with her. She wants full control over your life and she will use any means she has and will take your anger and any other negative reaction before she will take being ignored or outdone. She wants to have all the power over you and the child. If you have schedules visitation rights then she needs to stick by that. If she pulls this stunt again, don't sit around the house watching her and certainly don't "help" her when she gives her commands. Instead, just tell her you don't play her kind of games and that you are leaving.

Yeah Sandi, I totally agree. She is trying every trick in the book to gain power. She was totally naked...W was trying to tease me. I wasn't paying any attention to her.

Today I tried to call to check on D2 and W didn't answer her phone. I drove by the house, and she wasn't at home. Finally, she sent a text saying that she and D2 was out of the state with friends. She is very childish...

Last time I had D2, she was bringing up OM in front of my mom. It was horrible and ate me up inside. It is sad that she has to suffer for someone's selfish motives.

Thanks for your replies Sandi! I really appreciate ya...

Yes, she is very, immature. I notice that whenever you are ignoring her that is when she does things to get your attention. She will even try sex if she thought you weren�t interested!