20 years, 2 kids, and an affair - 07/02/15 04:46 PM
Hi. This is my first time posting anywhere on this website. I am unraveling and divorce busting was recommended to me by my brother.
My husband and I have been together for 20 years, 15 of those married with two small boys. I recently discovered that he has been having an affair for approximately 4 months. We are currently separated. He seems to be ready to call it quits, but even after the infidelity I'm not ready to let go. I love him and the life we've created together, and I just don't think he sees it. We've had a few conversations regarding this affair, but none have given me any idea as to WHY this happened. He tells me that he's been unhappy for awhile, but can't/won't tell me why. He also can't tell me why he felt he needed to have an affair. I never thought he was "that" guy. I listen to him talk and I don't recognize him anymore. I've asked that we have another conversation on Saturday bc I would like to say of things that are on my mind.
I want to talk about our roles in the marriage. He takes care of finances, while I have taken the role of traditional housewife even though I also have a career. I don't know what else to say without sounding weak. I love my husband, my life, and my children, and I'm not ready to let all of that go.
I guess what I'm looking for is advice on how to start this conversation and keeping it going in a positive way. As I said we've had a few talks, but the amount of emotions coursing through me tend to pop out. So I'm either sobbing, raging, or acting like I don't care. Am I an idiot for even wanting to try? Please help. I feel like I've lost my way.
My husband and I have been together for 20 years, 15 of those married with two small boys. I recently discovered that he has been having an affair for approximately 4 months. We are currently separated. He seems to be ready to call it quits, but even after the infidelity I'm not ready to let go. I love him and the life we've created together, and I just don't think he sees it. We've had a few conversations regarding this affair, but none have given me any idea as to WHY this happened. He tells me that he's been unhappy for awhile, but can't/won't tell me why. He also can't tell me why he felt he needed to have an affair. I never thought he was "that" guy. I listen to him talk and I don't recognize him anymore. I've asked that we have another conversation on Saturday bc I would like to say of things that are on my mind.
I want to talk about our roles in the marriage. He takes care of finances, while I have taken the role of traditional housewife even though I also have a career. I don't know what else to say without sounding weak. I love my husband, my life, and my children, and I'm not ready to let all of that go.
I guess what I'm looking for is advice on how to start this conversation and keeping it going in a positive way. As I said we've had a few talks, but the amount of emotions coursing through me tend to pop out. So I'm either sobbing, raging, or acting like I don't care. Am I an idiot for even wanting to try? Please help. I feel like I've lost my way.