Divorcebusting.com
Posted By: Yoyowife Playhouse - 11/10/08 05:56 PM
Hi Everyone,
I see I got locked up this weekend.

I had a very full, nice weekend. Friday on my break, H called and said he had checked into a car for DD17. We weren't planning on buying it right now, but DD20 wrecked her car so we needed to replace a car, so we decided to do a little swapping around. He asked if there was any way I could take off the afternoon to go with him to pick up the car, luckily I could.

The saleswoman was showing us the bells and whistles and H got a phone call so he got out of the car to take it. The saleswoman said "Your H said he stopped by to look at the Denalis for you and saw this car for your daughter. He said he was going to let you make up your mind if you want another SUV or a car. When do you think you might be getting one?" I hope my face didn't show the shock too much that he had done this. I told her I would have to get with him to make that decision. Weird, huh? He was car shopping for me and I didn't know it.

When I got to the house I called DD and told her to come outside and help me with the groceries (just a ploy to get her outside). She walked out and had the biggest surprised expression on her face and started squealing and grinning. To say that she was surprised and happy was an understatement.

H went to the deer camp Friday night and I went out with my DD and two other mother/daughter sets to dinner and a holiday expo. We had a great time. When I got home H called me. He wanted me to come to the deer camp. He said there were other wives there and he wanted me there. We had a nice time. We all sat by the fire and talked.

Saturday DD and I went and toured a college for her. It's my alma mater. She really liked it and will probably end up there. It's kind of odd to think that when I stepped on campus 27 years ago that my daughter would also be attending there!

Saturday night DD, one of her friends, and I went to the deer camp to meet up with H. We had a nice time.
Posted By: kat727 Re: Playhouse - 11/10/08 06:46 PM
How sweet that he was surprising you. I hope everything else is falling into place for you. you deserve it. Did you see the flair I sent you?

kat
Posted By: Yoyowife Re: Playhouse - 11/10/08 06:57 PM
Kat,
I guess I missed the flair. LOL
Posted By: saffie Re: Playhouse - 11/10/08 07:00 PM
Yoyo,

My D is also looking at the university that I and her dad met at. It feels sort of strange.
Posted By: kat727 Re: Playhouse - 11/10/08 07:14 PM
Well it was Twilight related so I thought you would like it! lol

kat
Posted By: Yoyowife Re: Playhouse - 11/10/08 07:51 PM
Originally Posted By: saffie
Yoyo,

My D is also looking at the university that I and her dad met at. It feels sort of strange.


Saffie,
It makes me feel a little old, how about you? \:\)
Posted By: Yoyowife Re: Playhouse - 11/10/08 07:51 PM
Originally Posted By: kat727
Well it was Twilight related so I thought you would like it! lol

kat


Kat,
I'm so lost, did you post something on one of the threads? It's Monday I'm kind of slow... LOL
Posted By: saffie Re: Playhouse - 11/10/08 08:53 PM
Yoyo,

It does make me feel old.....and jealous.....and sad - when my H went and looked around with her he said that our old college had been torn down and they were building new accomodation on the site where it had been. I was shocked as those buildings weren't very old when we were there. I had some good times in them

I must email you and Cheryl again. Things have been mad here. I may be going for some major surgery soon. I get to hear next week what's going on

About the twilight books - I have bought the first two for my second D for Christmas, (so that I can read them \:D )
Posted By: LL44 Re: Playhouse - 11/11/08 02:49 AM
I think it might be on FB, yoyo. \:\)

What a nice weekend with your husband. And a Denali? Girl, let him surprise you!!!
Posted By: kat727 Re: Playhouse - 11/11/08 03:17 AM
Yes Yoyo it was on fb.

kat
Posted By: Yoyowife Re: Playhouse - 11/11/08 03:51 PM
Saffie,
I too am envious of my DD going off to college in the fall. She has so much to look forward to. Those were such carefree days. We thought we really had it tough with all of the studying, which isn't a piece of cake, but the other perks were well worth it!

The university campus I went to has grown, but also thankfully kept the older buildings. They are so beautiful, even DD appreciated their beauty. The campus is absolutley gorgeous. When visited, it was a crisp autumn day. The leaves were beautiful. It was just like you imagine a college should look. Okay, I know I'm getting corny! LOL It sure brought back some fond memories. Some that I could repeat and some better left unsaid! ;\)
Posted By: Yoyowife Re: Playhouse - 11/11/08 04:04 PM
Time for a H update.

Last night I had to call H and discuss some business concerning an auto title. DD20 totaled her car two weeks ago and the insurance needs the title. We can't find it so we are not sure that Ford Motor Co. ever sent it to us. They left a return message for H on the answering machine. I called and told him yesterday. He asked if I could call them back. I did. He called later while he was hunting and talked quite a while to ask about the call. He talked a long while even after the business was taken care of.

DD17 and I went out to eat and then were going to make the dreaded run to Wal-Mart. H called while we were eating. I told him what our plans were. I guess he just called to chat because he never really asked about anything. So that was the second time he called yesterday. When we got home I debated calling him, but decided I would let him do the calling. He never did, but I was okay with it. I got in bed and read a good book!

This morning DD17 stopped by my classroom and told me she couldn't get her key out of the ignition in the student parking. I was giving a test so I called H and asked him to come by and take a look. He asked what he should do with the key when he got it out. I said you can drop them by the office or bring them up to my classroom. He quickly said I'll bring them to your class. It wasn't long before he was at my class door with the key, she didn't put in park! I walked out in the hall with him. He is leaving to go on a hunting trip tomorrow out of state. He said let me give you some money for DD. I said well, why don't you just come by tonight and see us before you leave? He started smiling real big and said "Yeah, I can do that."

Wow, who is this man????
Posted By: Yoyowife Re: Playhouse - 11/11/08 04:36 PM
Saffie,
I'm still waiting on that email to catch us up!

Hugs, Yoyo
Posted By: NoCodeBlues Re: Playhouse - 11/11/08 05:10 PM
Quote:
Wow, who is this man????


Sounds like a man who's still smitten by your obvious charms.
Posted By: saffie Re: Playhouse - 11/11/08 05:37 PM
Yoyo,

I haven't forgotten. I shall start it now and finish it off when I get back from the Cinema - going to see the new Bond film tonight. Have had to bribe eldest D into looking after youngest as youngest has been poorly.....I needed a break from the sick room!!!!!!!

((((HUGS)))))

Loved the post about your H
Posted By: Yoyowife Re: Playhouse - 11/11/08 05:44 PM
Saffie,
I'll be waiting. Hope you enjoy the movie.

I have to share one my funny moments at college. I was a freshman and had just joined a sorority. Our pledge class was asked by a fraternity's pledge class to go on a hayride. I can remember it being so cold, so of course we all had to get close to keep warm. My friend from high school stayed really warm, ;\) . The next day my girl friends and I were eating lunch and I looked at my HS friend and noticed that her lips were bluish-purple. We all determined that her lips were bruised from all of the kissing on the hayride! Ahhhhh....good times! Notice I'm only telling off on my friends. I'll keep my stories to myself.
Posted By: Sara Re: Playhouse - 11/11/08 06:13 PM
Hi Everyone,

Sorry I have been gone the past week. I didn't go anywhere this time, the conference was here in Tampa, but I was busy from early morning to late at night for days on end. It feels so good to have no demands on my time again! I want to catch up with everyone. Hi Saffie! I'll be waiting for your email too.
Posted By: Yoyowife Re: Playhouse - 11/11/08 07:00 PM
Hi Sara,
How did the conference go? Were you able to network to look for possible job leads? I'm sure it does feel nice to get that behind you.
Posted By: Sara Re: Playhouse - 11/11/08 10:53 PM
Yes, I did get a lead, but it will be full-time work for the next 2 weeks working on a proposal. But I think that is what I will do. In the past there were people higher up who did that for me. I guess it's time to put on the big girl shoes.
Posted By: Sara Re: Playhouse - 11/16/08 04:59 AM
Hi Yoyo,

I've been following you around the board. We could go to FB and IM.
Posted By: Yoyowife Re: Playhouse - 11/16/08 05:08 AM
If you're still around, I'm about to log on.
Posted By: Yoyowife Re: Playhouse - 11/18/08 09:08 PM
Hi Everyone,
I guess it's time for an update,it's been a while. I've got that jittery feeling again. Sometimes I wonder why I continue to try...Warning, this is long, but I sure could use some feedback.

H left last Wed. to go on an out of state hunting trip. The weekend prior to him leaving, we had been together that Friday and Satuturday night. As a matter of fact I went out for a girl's night on that Friday. I got home about 10:00 and H called and asked me to come to the hunting camp. He said there were other wives there and he wanted me to come. Saturday night we did the same thing except this time DD17 and her friend went with us. We had a wonderful time sitting around the fire and then going riding on the ATVs. He wanted me to stay at the camp with him, but I told him that DD17 would be by herself so he came and stayed at the house with us.

That following Monday night. DD and I went to dinner and had to run some errands afterwards. While we were eating H called and chatted for a while.

Tuesday night we talked and he said he thought that we would come by his house after we ran the errands. (I didn't go because he didn't ask me to come by. I'm tring to let everything be his idea and not pursue. He came over the house and stayed a few hours to tell us bye. He was flying out Wed. morning.

Wed. night he called to let me know that he had made it there. He was very upbeat and we talked quite a while.

Thurs. night I did not hear from him. Friday night DD17 had to cheer at a state playoff game which was three hours away. We left at 3:00 in the afternoon and didn't get get home until after midnight, so I didn't talk to him that night either.

Saturday afternoon I decided to call him. We talked briefly because he was getting ready to go hunt.

Sunday afternoon I called to see if he had made it home safely. He said he had and would be over later to see us. It was probably about 3 hours later that he came over. I tried calling him once or twice because our dog (yes, this will sound redneck, but, it happened) had an oppusum pinned in the corner of the deck next to the back door. I was afraid it was going to hurt the dog. I tried to get the dog to come in house, but he wouldn't so I called H. After two times trying to get him I left a message explaining what was happening. About 20 minutes later he called and was laughing saying he was on his way. DD20 who lives with him said he had been gone for quite a while, so of course I can't help but think he went to see OW.

He stayed an hour or so and left. I haven't heard from him since Sunday night. While he was at the house Sunday night.I told him that my aunt had invited me for Thanksgiving and I thought I would go because I had not seen her in a while. I told him I knew he would want to hunt so he could eat at his mothers instead of going with us. I said you are welcome to come, but I didn't think you would probably want to. The past two years I have cooked and it has been just us and our DDs. Now, of course I'm questioning if I made the right decision about Thanksgiving.

I don't understand him. He had been pursuing me, but now it seems he may be withdrawing again. I haven't done anything different. He says he's not involved with OW anymore, but I just can't help but worry about it. I do not bring her up to him.

Sorry, for the novel. If you finish reading this, I'd appreciate feedback.
Posted By: whatdidido Re: Playhouse - 11/18/08 09:15 PM
I don't know your whole situation, but I will respond about this last post.

Of course you can't help but worry about the OW. You always will until you are back with your husband fully. When you are, he will reassure you and you will ask to be reassured. He will do whatever it takes to repair any damage he caused. Until then, you have to follow your plan.

Him asking you to come with the other wives is VERY promising. He didn't have to do that.
Posted By: Yoyowife Re: Playhouse - 11/18/08 09:22 PM
Didi,
Thanks for responding. I'll give you a short summary of my sitch.

Oct. 06 H says he wants out, he's not happy, says there is no one else. I was blindsided. We had not had any problems.

Dec. 06 Find out he is having affair with his secretary.

Through the months he continues to ride the fence.

June 07 he files for D not contact until Sept. 07

July 07 OW's D final

Sept. 07 we start seeing each other again. He would say he wanted to reconcile then get wishy washy again.

June 08 he dismisses D.

OW still works for him, thus that's what makes me so uncofortable. He said he won't fire her, he's afraid of lawsuit.
As you can see, very messed up situation.

H and I see each other 3-4 times a week.

Well, that wasn't too short, but it has been going on for two years!
Posted By: kat727 Re: Playhouse - 11/18/08 09:52 PM
Everyone seems better when you don't call him and you keep your expectations low. This is the same guy afterall that was going to surprise you with a new car! How did that end up by the way?

Just keep playing calm and collected and you will be fine.

kat
Posted By: whatdidido Re: Playhouse - 11/18/08 10:00 PM
Ok, thanks for the recap. I'll keep my eye on you from here on out. Sounds like you guys are headed in the right direction. You are doing 180s and have a life, right?
Posted By: Sara Re: Playhouse - 11/18/08 11:30 PM
Yoyo,

Don't mention the 3 hours. It only makes it worse if you say something. Worse comes to worst, she got three hours out of 2 weeks. And you had him the rest of the time. Eventually she will see what little she has. Either she will push hard and it will anger him, or she will give up and move on. Either way, you are winning. As for Thanksgiving, as I recall, last year didn't make him want to come home, so maybe something different will be alright. Who knows?
Posted By: hope3343 Re: Playhouse - 11/18/08 11:45 PM
Hi Yoyo,
I have not posted on your stich but I have followed it in the past. From what everything I have read you have handled yourself with dignity, style and always kept your head up. Your children have been your first priority and you should be proud of what you accomplished.
Your H might have taken a backslide. It happens. But sometimes it confirms that he no longer wants the A with OW. I know some people on this board have taken a strong stand at some point and used Plan A/Plan B from Surviving an Affair by Heartley. If you are willing to wait then you are following the true DB process but if you are a point that you want H to commit to M again look at this book. It gives you a good plans to follow. Look at T2L stich. She has just finished Plan A and has gone into Plan B and hope for success.
I wish you the best. We are all here for a reason. Good luck
Posted By: Sara Re: Playhouse - 11/19/08 07:08 AM
Please don't take this personally, I found it on a joke page, and I thought it had some merit. What do you think?

Men are like fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it's up to the women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.
Posted By: saffie Re: Playhouse - 11/19/08 07:33 AM
Yoyo,

I wouldn't worry too much about this little backslide. You know he is better when you don't contact him......it's frustrating but it is his style. Also, he often seems to be a bit 'off' after a hunting expidition. Do you think there is one particular person with him on these trips who is against marriage?

To be honest, I think this lifestyle your H has just suits him down to the ground. Intimacy when he phones and wants it and freedom when he wants it. If it works for you both then run with it.....but don't forget what's sauce for the goose is ALSO sauce for the gander.....you use YOUR freedom and go see your aunt for Thanksgiving. Let your H see what it's like not to have you there.

The way things are constructed at the moment your H has no real responsibility towards you emotionally and no-one questions his comings and goings. This situation is so entrenched I just don't know what would make it change. Maybe he is waiting for both of your D's to be gone so h can have you to himself....or maybe he just likes it as it is and doesn't want changes. Does he EVER talk to you about the future?
Posted By: Matilda2 Re: Playhouse - 11/19/08 12:14 PM
Thinking of you, Yoyo!
Posted By: kat727 Re: Playhouse - 11/19/08 05:35 PM
Thanksgiving will certainly be a 180 for you. It will be good for you, I honestly believe that. Just relax and enjoy it and don't worry about H too much, he is a big boy afterall.

kat
Posted By: Yoyowife Re: Playhouse - 11/19/08 05:41 PM
Hi Everyone,
Thanks for responding. Your responses always lift me up. I don't intend on "accusing" him of anything without facts. I haven't even mentioned anything to him.

Saffie asked if he ever talks about the future. Yes, he does in fleeting moments. He has said on several times he wants us to get a vacation home on the lake. He talks about buying me a new vehicle. Sunday afternoon he was over and I was talking about hiring someone to take the carpet up out of my room. He said no, don't do that we will do it after hunting season is over.

I did find out some info last night. The OW's exH called last night. I guess in a way we have become friends. He called to tell me that the OW is taking him back to court on Monday. She is trying to get him to help pay for utilities for the house that they are trying to sell. His objection to that is that he wanted to move in their house after she moved out and bought another house. He has been trying to buy her out but she won't accept his offer. He at least wanted to live in it until it sold, but she refuses to let him have possession of the house. She still has possession of the house, so he looks at it this way, she can pay the utilities. He said his L agreed with him.

The exH also told me that the OW's dad is in the hospital with some serious heart blockage. This happened last week while H was on his hunting trip. So I'm wondering if she is laying a sympathy card on my H.

The OW also seems to be tattling on DD20 who works part-time for H when she doesn't have a class. When DD doesn't have any work to do she gets on Facebook. Apparently OW has told H that the computer could get a virus because of FB and tells H everytime DD gets on it when he's not there. The exH's and OW's son was telling him about it. My H doesn't know much about computers so I'm sure OW is able to convince him that DD will get a virus on the computer. I called DD last night and told her to watch her back.

Hope3343, thanks so much for stopping by. Can you give me a summary to the plans you talked about?

Hugs, Yoyo
Posted By: SueS Re: Playhouse - 11/19/08 10:02 PM
Hi Yoyo!

I'm catching up on you. You sound great lady!

Sorry that the old OW is still a pain in the arse. Just a question? If it was "their" house, why couldn't her ex-h have talked to the authorities and gotten back in the house himself? What a b*tch!

I'm going to try to update my thread too.

Been thinking about you.

SueS
Posted By: Yoyowife Re: Playhouse - 11/19/08 10:17 PM
Hi Sue,
Great to hear from you. I've been wondering how you were!

As far as the house situation goes for them. I don't know why but the system wouldn't let him move back in. She is very much a manipulating b*tch! I wish my H could see that. I'm sure he never sees that side of her! It seems that she is starting to have financial problems. I'm sure she thought when all of this started that she and my H would be married by now! It doesn't make since that she moved out of her house before it sold. As a matter of fact because it is unoccupied the insurance has gone up on it!
Posted By: hope3343 Re: Playhouse - 11/20/08 04:03 AM
Hi Yoyo,
If you take a look at T2L stich she was using the Plan A/Plan B from "surviving an affair". A short synopsis of this is that once you get past the resentment of your H having an A, you will need to rebuild the Love Bank. The love bank is a term that is used for deposit of love and admiration. Most M when they split the love bank is usually empty. There is a quiz in the back of the book that helps you figure out your H's biggest needs, eg. Adminiration, Listening, Financial etc. Once you know the top 5 you try and use these needs to start your R over with your H. This is called Plan A. Set your goal for when you will be done with Plan A. It is really cake eating for the H. Once you feel that you put forth a good Plan A, then you go to Plan B. Basically it is a No contact with H. You set up a friend that will intercede for you to even talk about the children. Basically you give H a letter saying you can no longer accept OW and need her out of your lives and to rebuild the marriage. It is almost like the last resort technique in divorce busting. It is risky but it puts an end of waiting forever for your H to get off of the fence.
As I said check out T2L posts. She has executed a great Plan A and can give you more details.
take care
Posted By: whatdidido Re: Playhouse - 11/20/08 01:39 PM
That plan sounds interesting. I just told h4h about it. Hmmmmmm
Posted By: Yoyowife Re: Playhouse - 11/20/08 03:59 PM
Hope3343,
Thanks for filling me in on the plan. I would definitely say I have filled his love bank. I have told him before that I couldn't be in a relationship with 3. He will then panic and do better. Things will be going great and then he withdraws a little.

Right now I wouldn't say he has withdrawn a tremendous amount, but he is different than he was prior to the trip. I can't say that anyone on the trip had anything to do with it, becaue I know they think he was crazy for what he did walking out on the marriage and taking up with OW.
Posted By: hope3343 Re: Playhouse - 11/20/08 04:38 PM
Hi Yoyo, go over the marriagebuilders.com site. It will give you some good info. What you have to decide is how long you are willing to wait without starting to get resentment and your relationship turning bitter because H can't make up his mind. I will tell T2L to look at your stich. You have done remarkably well during this time and you know everyone on this board is always rooting for a success story. good luck
Posted By: Matilda2 Re: Playhouse - 11/21/08 11:57 AM
I'm sure rooting for a success story, Yoyo!
Posted By: Yoyowife Re: Playhouse - 11/21/08 02:18 PM
Mattie,
You are such a sweetheart.

How are you? Fill me in on what's going on with you. How is your DD? I looked for your thread, but didn't find it. Please update!

Hugs, Yoyo
Posted By: kat727 Re: Playhouse - 11/21/08 04:05 PM
So Miss Yoyo are you going to the opening night of Twilight? I am going to a 7 something showing with a bunch of girlfriends! If you aren't going yet, I will try not to talk about it here just for you.

kat
Posted By: Yoyowife Re: Playhouse - 11/21/08 07:10 PM
Kat,
I guess I'll have to wait until next week. My daughters are going out of town this weekend to visit friends at a college. I'll wait and go next week. I have a two day week next week--woo hoo!

The Friday after Thanksgiving we are headed to Branson to do some Christmas shopping. I should be fun!
Posted By: kat727 Re: Playhouse - 11/21/08 07:49 PM
I am sorry you won't be able to see it sooner but I promise, I'll just let you know if I liked it or not and then we can chat it up later.

kat
Posted By: kat727 Re: Playhouse - 11/22/08 04:24 AM
OMG the screaming girls. You would have thought they had never been kissed before. Is this what girls are going to compare their love lives to?? I liked the movie but screaming girls are such a headache!

kat
Posted By: bobelina Re: Playhouse - 11/27/08 12:32 AM
Happy Turkey Day !!!

BoB ;\)
Posted By: Yoyowife Re: Playhouse - 11/27/08 02:07 AM
Bob,
Happy Turkey Day to you as well!!!! How is life treating you?

Yoyo
Posted By: Yoyowife Re: Playhouse - 11/27/08 02:09 AM
Hi Friends,
I hope that everyone has a blessed Thanksgiving. I am so thankful for you all!

I'm going out of town to my aunt's house for Thanksgiving. Friday morning I will be leaving to go out of state for some Christmas shopping for the weekend.

Hugs, Yoyo
Posted By: kat727 Re: Playhouse - 11/27/08 03:42 AM
Happy Thanksgiving!! Changing things up a bit is really going to help you a lot. Enjoy Branson, I have never been but heard it is fun.

kat
Posted By: fightingirish Re: Playhouse - 11/27/08 01:11 PM
Happy thanksgiving my friend yoyo \:\)
Posted By: mcojh Re: Playhouse - 11/27/08 03:56 PM
Yoyo-I assume there will be some sort of possum stuffing or pickled porcupine served at your dinner.
Posted By: bobelina Re: Playhouse - 11/27/08 05:14 PM
Possum? Southern Food?
Check out these recipes:
http://scots.com/recipes/default.htm

BoB ;\)
Posted By: NoCodeBlues Re: Playhouse - 11/27/08 05:59 PM
Happy Thanksgiving, Yoyo.
Posted By: karen43 Re: Playhouse - 11/27/08 08:20 PM
Happy Thanksgiving Yoyo! Hope you're having a great day!!!

Thanks for the link bobelina!!! A lot of those sound good (maybe b/c I'm from the South) but I will take a pass on the Bologna Cups!!! \:\) Karen
Posted By: Yoyowife Re: Playhouse - 12/01/08 02:45 AM
Hi Friends,
I'm back from my shoppping trip. We definitely shopped 'til we dropped. My legs are still sore. We had so much fun. We laughed so hard my stomach ached. Lots of good times but definitely glad to be home, except for going back to work tomorrow! \:\(

Hope you all had a nice holiday.

MC,
How in the world did you know that possum would be on our menu? ;\)
Posted By: Sara Re: Playhouse - 12/01/08 03:02 AM
Hi, glad you're back. Hope you got some great bargains.
Posted By: mcojh Re: Playhouse - 12/03/08 01:14 PM
Originally Posted By: Yoyowife

MC,
How in the world did you know that possum would be on our menu? ;\)


For the same reason I know that you are required to have at least one broken down car in your front yard.
Posted By: Yoyowife Re: Playhouse - 12/03/08 02:23 PM
Originally Posted By: mcojh
Originally Posted By: Yoyowife

MC,
How in the world did you know that possum would be on our menu? ;\)


For the same reason I know that you are required to have at least one broken down car in your front yard.


Ha! You really like picking on your southern friend, don't you? ;\) Watch out I'll have to come up with some yankee jokes!
Posted By: Yoyowife Re: Playhouse - 12/04/08 03:00 PM
Hi Friends,
I haven't had any good stories to tell about my students lately, but that changed yesterday.

Remember, a few weeks ago I told you about the autistic young man who told me he wanted to see a really hot girl topless. He is 17 this year and has became quite interested in girls. Everyday he comes to class and sits by my desk and ask me questions about dating, girls, his appearance, and such. I try my best to steer him in the right direction. He is obsessed with trying to get a girlfriend. I told him he was young and had plenty of time to worry about that later. Yesterday, he came in class and told me he had to ask me some questions. Here is our conversation:

Student- There are some guys who call me "Van the man", is that a good thing?
Me- I think so, they must really like you
Student- Oh, okay
Student- I asked a girl out today
Me- What did she say?
Student- She said she would think about it.
Student- The guys told me if she goes out with me, that I should "tap that". What does that mean?

I just looked at him with no expression on my face trying to figure out what to tell him. Luckily, one of the other guys in my class heard this conversation. He told the student, "You need to come to my desk, and let me talk to you." I was so proud of the other young man. He didn't laugh at him he just apparently explained it to to him.

Whew, I don't mind teaching academics, but I don't think I'm quite ready to teach sex education!
Posted By: Sara Re: Playhouse - 12/04/08 03:30 PM
You'd better teach me too, I have no idea of what he means.
Posted By: bobelina Re: Playhouse - 12/04/08 03:40 PM
From:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/
tap that
refering to a guy getting it on with a girl.

BoB ;\)
Posted By: saffie Re: Playhouse - 12/06/08 11:13 PM
Hmmmmm.....I am learning here too!!!!!
Posted By: kat727 Re: Playhouse - 12/08/08 06:54 PM
So how is sweet Yoyo doing? Hope you are having a wonderful day.

kat
Posted By: Yoyowife Re: Playhouse - 12/11/08 09:42 PM
Hi Everyone,
I've been doing a lot of thinking about my situation lately. Part of me says move on and the other part says keep DBing.

Let me give you an update. This past weekend I didn't see H very much at all. Friday night he said he had the stomach virsus. With his past of so much lying, I had my doubts if he was telling the truth. Sat. morning he called and said he was working near my house and needed to come use my bathroom because he had gotten sick on the job. Sat. night DD20 came over. I asked her how he was feeling. She said I guess okay, he went hunting this afternoon. I later called him about 8:00 to see how he was feeling. He said he was in bed with the chills. I said I thought you went hunting. He said I did because I was feeling better, but started feeling bad again and came home.
Sunday he had to work. I did not hear from him.

Monday night DD17 had to cheer at a game and they were doing their Christmas dance. H called about 4:00 to see what time they would be dancing because he was working out of town and he would get there before she danced.

I went earlier and sat with some friends. I noticed him when he got there, but did not acknowledge him. He was standing in the foyer talking to our neighbor who is the principal. DD17 had a break and came and talked to me and then saw her dad and went and talked to him. He later walked in the gym and stopped and talked to a friend.

When it got time for DD to dance she had to change and she wanted me to come help her with some pinnings. I walked by him and he turned around and looked at me like he was wondering where I was going? I told him I had to go help DD. My friend said he watched me leave the gym and kept watching for me to com back in the gym. When I got finished I came back to gym and he turned around again. I told him I got her taken care of and then I went back and sat with my friends. He again looked surprised that I didn't sit with him. It wasn't long before he came and sat behind me with the rest of the dads. I acknowledged him, but kept watching the game. Soon, he was making small talk with me. He also let me know that he worked from 7:00 am til 8:30 Sunday.

I did not hear from him the rest of the week. Yesterday he got a delivery from Fedex for the business. I called him and he wanted me to open it. He of course was hunting. I told him that I would bring the package over when he got home. He said no, I'll come to your house.

I need to give a little more info. Tuesday, the OW's ex H called and said that their son said the my H had been to their H briefly a couple of times in the past two weeks. Although she still works for him, he said they didn't see each other outside of work.

You all know me well enough to know that my mind starts working overtime. All I could think was that he and the OW are involved again and he didn't want my car there in case she drove by. So, I called him back and told him not to worry about coming by my house. He of course was shocked. He said what is wrong? I told him that I knew he had been there. I said I have told you that I will not be in a triangle, if you are, we need to end our relationship.

He then tried to turn it around on me and ask why I was still talking to to the ex H. I said I can talk to him if I want, you talk to her everyday. He said do ya'll have something going? I said no,I'm married and I continue to act like it. He then shut up.

He then started griping about the last time he was at my house the puppy had urinated on the rug, and he couldn't take that. I said if that's one of my faults, it does not even compare with what you have done. I will not listen to that. He then got another call from an employee and said he would call me back.

He later called and said I'll be at your house in a second, I'm turning on the street.

We had a long talk and I told him that she had to go in order for us to work. He told me that he was going to tell her about two weeks ago after he got back from a hunting trip, but her dad got very sick and put and intensive care. He said he didn't want to do it during that time. I said, well why did you go to her house? He said I guess she called and asked me to, but I didn't stay long. I said well, the son did say that you didn't stay long. I said you do not have to go over there just because she asked you to. I said she has to go. She is like an addiction, if you were tring to quit drinking and a beer was on your desk it would be too tempting. I said it is the same way with you being around her everyday. I said you can find another secretary. He said I know, John (his friend) and I discussed this. I know I have really got myself in a mess. I couldn't believe it. It was really the first time that he admitted that he made a mess of his life and discussed it with someone else.

I have been distant from him and will continue. Any interaction will come from him. We are going to a Christmas party together Sat. night.

Wow, this is long. I'm sorry, I just haven't updated in a while.
Posted By: kat727 Re: Playhouse - 12/11/08 11:27 PM
oh Yoyo, have you never seen H4H's posts? Yours is just getting to his short ones lengths!lol I remember us talking about how he does seem to come to you when you back off. Also great truth dart with the I am married and will continue to act like it.

It sounds as if you are doing well. Keep up what you are doing because it does appear to be working at the moment. Hugs.

kat
Posted By: Matilda2 Re: Playhouse - 12/12/08 12:32 AM
Thanks for the update.
Posted By: bobelina Re: Playhouse - 12/12/08 04:34 AM
(((Yoyo)))
Posted By: Sara Re: Playhouse - 12/12/08 04:48 AM
Hi Yoyo. Saw your post earlier, but I had to run to the office Christmas party. So, it sounds like you are doing well with him.

From this distance, it looks like you have become more demanding of him behavior-wise. And he is still coming back. So, I see improvement, but not a lot. It is good that he mouths words regarding firing her, even if it isn't happening. At some point either he will do it (I'm not holding my breath), or she will get the idea that she is not his top priority and go look for another man she can control. After all, that's what she does for a living. Working in his office is just a sideline. And it sounds like her ex is still out there as an option. She could even go back to him. (Assuming he has been able to rebuild some wealth after the last time she took him for all he had.)

But I have to say, no one could handle him better than you. (That's not a pun.)
Posted By: LL44 Re: Playhouse - 12/12/08 05:12 AM
Sara is right, he (in the past) would completely throw out the idea of firing her, wouldn't even consider it. Now I think he 'gets it'. However, I think he is stuck in that phase where he thinks its ok to continue a relationship (working, friendship, whatever) with OW and you shouldn't have a problem with it. Hopefully he'll come to understand!

You are doing great, making him stay away from you, giving yourself space.
Posted By: Yoyowife Re: Playhouse - 12/14/08 06:23 PM
Mattie,
If you are out there please let me know how you are. I looked for your thread and it seems you haven't started a new one since the last one locked. Are you and DD ready for Christmas?

Hugs, Yoyo
Posted By: Yoyowife Re: Playhouse - 12/14/08 06:24 PM
Hi Everyone,
Thanks for the support. You all are the best!
Posted By: Sara Re: Playhouse - 12/14/08 07:12 PM
Hi Yoyo,

I am sitting here nursing a sore throat. I start in the morning with hot Throat Coat tea, and work my way to hot mulled wine in the afternoon. And reading Twilight. I'm enjoying it, but I keep wondering if it is good to portray such an obsessive, stalking love story as romantic. Not to even mention the "You should be afraid of me", "I'm fine." chatter as love. But it is a pleasant read. Just not good for role modeling.

Last night was my husband's office Xmas party. I said that since I was sick, I would stay home, and he should go without me. He wouldn't go. Said it wasn't important for him to go. (Two years ago when we were on the rocks, and our office parties conflicted, it was the most important social event of the decade, and my fault that he missed it). So I said "Fine, I'll take some advil and we'll both go, because you should be there." So we went and had a good time. We got the dancing going, and he even did the twist with some secretary who asked him. (There will be pictures.) And I won a gift certificate to Cheesecake Factory. Maybe I should take some advil, it did make me feel better.
Posted By: Yoyowife Re: Playhouse - 12/15/08 01:46 AM
Sara,
Sorry to hear about your throat. Last time I had a sore throat it turned out to be strep, so keep an eye on it.

I too liked Twilight, but was disturbed that Bella wanted to become a vampire. All I could think about was what about her parents? I saw the movie and must admit I was a little disappointed. I believe if I had not read the book first, I would not have care for it all. Of course though we all know it is rare that a movie is ever as good as the book. One thing that I do like about the books is that I'm seeing teens reading these books who seldom ever just read for pleasure.

I'm glad that you were able to make it to the office party. It sounds like you had a good time once you got there. Cheesecake, yum, can't go wrong with that!
Posted By: Yoyowife Re: Playhouse - 12/15/08 02:09 AM
Last night H and I attended a Christmas party of one of his business associates. He has become pretty good friends of this man and his wife during our separation. I'll call them John and Jane Doe. I just met them this past summer. They are really nice people. It was after I met them that I found out that H had taken the skank around them. Honestly, I was embarassed when I found out because it made me feel foolish that they had been around the whore also. When I found out, I asked H if Jane was friends with the OW, because if she was, I didn't want to go around them anymore. I did not want to put Jane on the spot of having to "choose" between us. He told me they were not.

After I got to know Jane we discussed the OW. She told me that once she met me, it made her really mad that my H had brought the OW to her house. She told her H that she would not allow my H to bring her around anymore.

Well, last night at the party I was talking to Jane and she told me that the skank had called her H to see if she could get some of his homemade bbq sauce. It made Jane very mad. She told John that she didn't want him having anything to do with the "country gold digging whore". Later Jane told this to my H also. She let Brad know how worthless she thought the whore was. She told him you have a good wife who loves you so much. She is the mother of your children. I would not have put up with half of what she has put up with. He said I know. She gave him several truth darts. He listened and got defensive a couple of times. Jane told my H, I choose Yoyo. Youa are never to bring the gold digger around me anymore. John at one time looked at Jane and told her to stop. Not sure why the whore called John. Maybe it was her way of trying to get on good terms with John and Jane thinking it would help her with my H. All it did was infuriate Jane that the whore was calling her H!

As we were leaving John came up and hugged me and kissed me bye. He also hugged my H. Then he looked at us both and said I love you both, I wish you could work it out. But, if you can't you need to move on and quit treating her like this. By this time I was crying. John kissed me and said I didn't mean to make you cry. My H hugged me and kissed me. He actually told me he loved me. I said, but are you in love with me? He said yes, I love you.

On the way home H wanted me sit right next to him in the SUV. I moved over one time and he told me to come closer to him.

It turned out to be an expensive night. We hit a deer about a half mile from our house. We see deer on our street all the time. It tore up my bumper pretty bad. I'm just glad DD17 didn't hit it in her car. I told her to make sure that she goes very slowly down the street.

So a very interesting night over all...
Posted By: karen43 Re: Playhouse - 12/15/08 03:28 AM
How wonderful! I so admire your friend for standing up for good morals and marriage over: being polite I guess or whatever would lead people to pretend it's ok that an H has a girlfriend. I think they tend to hang out with people that don't have much morals I would guess, and it's so good that someone with morals and courage stood up for you and your marriage like that. I resolve to do the same if that ever happens to me, even though probably most people just kind of look the other way or don't want to hurt skank feelings or something like that. Karen
Posted By: Sara Re: Playhouse - 12/15/08 04:57 AM
Wow! So why does your H have to go hunting if he can just kill them with the car on the street?! Do you get to keep the meat if you kill it like that?

I like Jane and John a lot. Sometimes an intervention like that is just what the WAS needs. Someone to confirm that his wife is the right choice. And I love the "country gold-digging whore" name-calling. I hope he heard it. Of course, that's exactly what she is. CGDW.

Just heard my father is in the hospital. I'm too sick to go visit. Something else to worry about.
Posted By: Matilda2 Re: Playhouse - 12/15/08 11:47 AM
Thanks, Yoyo. I just haven't felt like starting a new thread since I am still in a rut, but I am ok. Been somewhat sad thinking about the holidays, but D18 and I are going to be with family out of state. It's low key this year.

What are your plans?
Posted By: Yoyowife Re: Playhouse - 12/15/08 04:05 PM
Sara,
How is your father? Please keep us updated. It's difficult enough to have a loved one in the hospital, but around the holidays makes it ever worse.

Yes, Jane did tell H that she thought OW was a CGDW. She didn't hold back. I'm sure it's the first time someone other than me had told him the truth.

As far as the deer go, this is the third time a deer has ran out in front of my car in the past week or so. I guess they were bound and determined to get hit. This time there were three and H hit the last one of the group. Some people do take them, but that means you would have to either clean it right then or refrigerate it. We did not do either. H is more into hunting for the sport of it than the meat. He usually gives it away if someone wants it.
Posted By: Yoyowife Re: Playhouse - 12/15/08 04:08 PM
Mattie,
So good to hear from you. I understand what you mean about being in a rut. The holidays can be a stressful time. I'm so glad you have family and DD to spend them with.

We went out of town for Thanksgiving, but plan on staying home for Christmas. I need to start planning my menu soon!

Hugs, Yoyo
Posted By: Sara Re: Playhouse - 12/15/08 06:00 PM
Hi Yoyo,

My father is 87 years old with only one kidney. And the CT scan showed a stone in the kidney. Maybe that's why he wasn't drinking anything. I don't know. They have him rehydrated, and they are going to do dialysis, and then they will deal with the stone. If he had continued with his not eating and not drinking (he doesn't seem to get hungry anymore) the doctors say he would have been dead in one more day. Anyway, it's out of his control now.
Posted By: Sara Re: Playhouse - 12/15/08 08:23 PM
Update:

My father had surgery this morning for the kidney stone and everything is fixed. He's out of surgery and there are a crowd of well-wishers around, and they all say he looks good. Thank you for your prayers.
Posted By: bobelina Re: Playhouse - 12/15/08 10:10 PM
(((Sara)))
Glad to hear that your is OK.

BoB ;\)
Posted By: bobelina Re: Playhouse - 12/15/08 10:58 PM
(((Sara)))
Glad to hear that your Dad is OK.

BoB ;\)

ETA:Typo. I can be lame like that. ;\)
Posted By: Sara Re: Playhouse - 12/15/08 11:02 PM
Thanks, Bob. I knew who you meant.
Posted By: Yoyowife Re: Playhouse - 12/16/08 01:44 AM
Sara,
That is wonderful news. I know you are relieved. You are in my thoughts and prayers always.

Hugs, Yoyo
Posted By: Yoyowife Re: Playhouse - 12/18/08 01:14 AM
Well, time to blow off a little steam.

I use our company credit card for gas for my car and DD's and also to go out to eat on. I noticed that it will expire at the end of this month. The other night I told my H this and asked him if he had received my new one at the office. It would be easy to tell that it is mine because it has my name on it as well as the company name. He said no. He said his didn't expire until 2010 and asked me if I was sure. I pulled it out and showed him. He said I'll check and see if it came to the office. Of course my first thoughts were that it had come in and he was hoping I wouldn't say anything about getting the new one. He didn't seem like it though when I talked to him. Today I called the bank to check on it. They informed me that it was mailed out at the end of November. I called H today while I knew he would be at work. He was out of town though. I explained to him what the bank said. I said either it is floating out there or maybe the secretary/ow is hiding it from me. He said I'll check on it. I went ahead and went to lunch. When I got back I had two missed calls from him. I called back. He wanted my credit card #. He said the ho said it never came to the office so he called the bank. They told him too that they mailed it out. He said they said they would have cancel my card and issue me a new one since it could be floating around somewhere. He said he wanted to let me know so that I wouldn't try to use it.

So anyone thinking what I'm thinking, that the ho cut it up and got rid of it?!!!!
Posted By: kat727 Re: Playhouse - 12/18/08 02:21 AM
Now let's not jump to conclusions but it is probable!lol I hope he had it mailed where he had to sign for it or something to kind of make sure you get it this time. How petty can these people get? But I will try to give her the benefit of the doubt.


kat
Posted By: Yoyowife Re: Playhouse - 12/18/08 02:29 AM
Yes, you are correct that I am assuming. Of course we know what they say about assuming, but I certainly wouldn't put it past her. Also, the office mail is a PO Box. I would think it would be much more reliable than a mailbox, but who knows?
Posted By: Sara Re: Playhouse - 12/18/08 02:31 AM
If only it were that easy to get rid of the real wife! Either that or it's in her wallet, and she fantasizes about using it. Banks are pretty good about getting those replacement cards out quickly. And now with everyone looking for it, I doubt it will be so easily misplaced.
Posted By: Yoyowife Re: Playhouse - 12/18/08 02:40 AM
Sara,
I of course don't know that she did it, but with her past behavior I wouldn't put it past her. Too bad, I can't just cancel her and reissue her to another job!!! So you think she did something with it also?
Posted By: kat727 Re: Playhouse - 12/18/08 07:19 PM
Are you feeling good today? Finals are almost over!!

kat
Posted By: Yoyowife Re: Playhouse - 12/18/08 07:57 PM
Finals are completed tomorrow at 1:30!!! Yay!!! Two weeks off, I can't wait!
Posted By: hope3343 Re: Playhouse - 12/18/08 08:38 PM
Hi Yoyo, still reading your sitch. Hope you are doing well.
As far as the credit card goes, I think the OW took it. As a rule the credit card comes in the mail and then usually within a week after that a follow-up letter comes saying that the credit card was mailed out for extra security. If the credit card was misplaced then the letter following would let your H know.
Sounds like the elfs are doing mischief before Christmas. Well you know what they say about the OW --- ho, ho, ho, Merry Christmas
Posted By: Yoyowife Re: Playhouse - 12/22/08 05:33 AM
Originally Posted By: hope3343
Well you know what they say about the OW --- ho, ho, ho, Merry Christmas


Ha! I love it!!!
Posted By: Yoyowife Re: Playhouse - 12/22/08 05:49 AM
Hi Everyone,
Can you all believe it's almost Christmas! Wow, I've still got some wrapping to do! I'm not as organized as our dear friend LWB, I swear she is a Super Mom! She never ceases to amaze me!

Friday was my last day of work until Jan. 5th, yay! Friday night we had a faculty party. H went with me. He didn't put up a fight, but I'm not sure he really wanted to go. We ended up having a really good time. He even invited one of the couples over to my house afterwards. When he invited them to come with us I asked him which house. He said let's go to your house. I'm sure he knew that his house isn't at homey as mine. You can't even tell it's about to be Christmas at his house.

He had to get up really early Saturday morning (5:00 am, yuck!)to to go to work out of town. He didn't get back until nearly 8:00 pm. He called and asked me to come over to his house. As you know oldest DD lives with him. Youngest DD was over there watching television with her. We all spent the night at his house. It was so nice having my whole family in the same house. It's been a while since that happened.

I had told H Friday night that his cousin and wife were going to Memphis for New Year's Eve. Saturday night he told me to call them and see where they were staying to see if we could get a room also. So guesss what, I have a date for New Year's Eve.

H had to get up at 4:30 am this morning to go to work out of town again today. I felt really bad for him having to work all weekend like that. I did all of his laundry today and put it away for him. He called me twice today while he was gone. I told him that he would be able to come home this afternoon and relax because I had done his laundry and changed his bed linens. He said thanks, that's great!
Posted By: chicki Re: Playhouse - 12/22/08 02:07 PM
Yoyo,

I guess its easier to be Supermom when yr X still gives y his entire check(?) orif u only have one kid. Hey I thought only moms of miltiple kids were called supermom?
Kudos to you mom of (multiple kids) yr doing wonderfully.
Posted By: Yoyowife Re: Playhouse - 12/22/08 06:46 PM
Giggle for the day... This one is too funny not to be shared!

A burglar broke into a Christian Family’s home one night. He shined his
Flashlight around, looking for valuables; when he heard, a strange
Voice echoing from the dark saying,

"Jesus is watching you"

He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flash light off, and
Froze. After awhile when he heard nothing more, he shook his head and
Continued Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the
Wires, clear as a bell he heard,

"Jesus is watching you"

Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the
Source of the voice and finally, in the corner of the room, his
Flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. “Did you say that?” He whispered to the parrot.

"Yep" the parrot squawked,"I'm just trying to warn you.”

The burglar relaxed. “Warn me, huh? And what is your name?”

"Moses", replied the bird.

“Moses?” the burglar laughed. “Wht kind of people would name a bird Moses?”

“The kind of people that would name a Rottweiler, Jesus.
Posted By: bobelina Re: Playhouse - 12/22/08 07:33 PM
That was cool !!!

BoB ;\)
Posted By: Yoyowife Re: Playhouse - 12/22/08 07:34 PM
Ha! Bob, I never know when you are going to pop in, but I honestly thought, "Bob will like this one!"

How are you? You and the girls ready for Ole St. Nick? What about your lady friend, how is she?

Hugs,
Yoyo
Posted By: Matilda2 Re: Playhouse - 12/23/08 06:17 PM
Yoyo, sounds like things are on the right track for you! Nice that you already have a date for New Year's Eve!!! Merry, merry Christmas, and I wish you only the best in 2009!!!
Posted By: Yoyowife Re: Playhouse - 12/23/08 08:57 PM
Mattie,
Thank you so much for the warm wishes. I also with you a very Merry Christmas and a very blessed new year. You deserve it my friend.

Much love,
Yoyo
Posted By: kat727 Re: Playhouse - 12/23/08 09:56 PM
I think Karen and I are trying for Saturday night on the movie. We both turned our Netflix/blockbuster movies in today so we should have it by Friday/Saturday.

kat
Posted By: fightingirish Re: Playhouse - 12/24/08 01:21 AM
yoyo..

Thanks for checking on me... Merry christmas dear lady xxoo

Tal
Posted By: karen43 Re: Playhouse - 12/25/08 01:15 AM
Merry Christmas Yoyo! Hope you can join in on the movie on Saturday!!! \:\) Karen
Posted By: kat727 Re: Playhouse - 12/25/08 01:37 AM
Of course, I don't mind about the x-mas thread. I was hoping everyone would use it. Merry Christmas hon. Bless you all this holiday season.

love, kat
Posted By: NoCodeBlues Re: Playhouse - 12/25/08 01:45 PM
Hello, Yoyo,

Tomorrow I'll be driving into your time zone to visit family. My brother and his family will be driving from AR where you are to meet us in MS. So I just wanted to wish you God's blessings...
and Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.
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