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bttrfly, job, Mach40, Rockon
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Original Post (Thread Starter)
#2941538 01/04/2023 9:27 PM
by Ginger1
Ginger1
Sorry D. Didn’t see your post. I was too caught up in how my thread became the topic of how OLD is so frustrating for men and the odds are completely against them because of women having some level of standard .

Here we go again.

Yeah, BL, I will agree that the odds were against your ex! Ha!

Stages of life are truly the biggest challenges. We all start off single with no real life commitments. Then life gets real and finding compatibility is HARD.

Believe it or not, my child has no friends whose parents are divorced. They are all together.

It’s never the 6 pack, 6 figure, 6 inches.


Previous thread:

Welp
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#2941555 Jan 4th a 10:50 PM
by Ginger1
Ginger1
Honestly, BL, if your W’s BF treats your kids good…… then it would be the best for your kids if they stay together. Because if they break up there will just be another man they have to adjust to. And you’ll have to see if the new guy treats your kids good too. The less revolving door of men for your kids to adjust to, the better. I totally understand having to s@ck ip your own pride. It’s not easy. But I really don’t think any different men that aren’t you in your kid’s lives is going to make it any better.

When my ex and his wife I’ve got married, that was when I had said “they better stay together and he better not F this up” killed me for sure. I’m thankful enough she’s good to my D.

Today my D got her braces off! She looks like an adult ! It’s kind of crazy. She is very beautiful. I’ve been driving all over gods green earth today on my day off getting the dog groomed, braces off, then driving her to school so she could coach the Pom squad her and classmates started. I’m super proud of what they choreographed. I got to watch and it was awesome. Now we are going to meet her dad to see a sweet 16 venue. Then I’m going home and passing out. Tomorrow she managed to coerce me into taking her to a devils game. Well, coerce is a strong word, because I want to go too, it’s just alot for me on a work night.

I realize I’m lucky because my kid is not one to lock herself in her room as a teen . She literally spend every waking moment we are home together . Pretty cool. She called me weird but fun mom yesterday and I took that as the greatest compliment ever
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#2941706 Jan 6th a 02:28 PM
by Ginger1
Ginger1
Originally Posted by Mach40
I am curious about the parents your kids friends have that are not divorced. I know there are many, but it almost sounded to real the way it was written.
I wonder if they are a nuclear family, very committed to religion too?

I don’t know too much if the nitty gritty. But no, they aren’t particularly religious people. Her BFF’s parents have been together about 20 years. He was actually married for a short time before her in his early 20’s. They are actually 12 years older than me and started later in life . They are happy no signs of trouble there. My friend I’m going out with tomorrow……. She’s been married for 19 years, but she was with her H for 10 years before that I believe. Still together, good marriage. She says they have their problems, like every couple does, but otherwise a normal couple. D’s other friends parents are much older. Almost 60. Dad is 60 I think . I don’t know their personal deal, but no signs of trouble.

I think what I noticed is the ones still strong got married a little later in life. And they legit enjoy eachother. They keep enjoy their time together. And they are a good team when it comes to parenting. They have lives outside of being parents.
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#2941705 Jan 6th a 02:18 PM
by Ginger1
Ginger1
I have been watching some of the world juniors. Like hives and Conner bedard are future hall of famers for sure .

Tough loss last night for us. Disappointing really. They better get a W against the rangers Saturday.

BL- that sounds like some fun GAL! I went to killington with my exBF 4 years ago. He’s a snowboarder. I am not. I skied twice in my life. At 19 and 20 and my ex ruined that experience. So I said “let me try this” and I got snowboarding lessons at killington. That was a hard never again from me ! I couldn’t even move the next day and I thought I had a brain bleed. However , I am awesome at drinking by the fire in the lodge reading a book! And relaxing in a hot tub! I’m active, but I am not coordinated, lol .

My GAL continues tonight for date #2. We shall see. Tomorrow is birthday dinner and drinks for friend. Sunday I have to train at work for 4 hours.

GAL is fun, but it makes me tired. Im an old lady now. I go out and get out , but sometimes, I just want to be home in my sweats
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#2941837 Jan 9th a 05:23 PM
by Ginger1
Ginger1
Originally Posted by LH19
I think this is why dating is so difficult and no one enjoys it. The fun gets sucked out of it when after two dates you already have to figure out if you are ok with exw staying with potential BF. There is ALWAYS stuff to deal with when getting to know someone is difficult within itself.

BTW lawyers love people like and laugh all the way to the bank when they get them as clients.

Well, let’s be real. We aren’t dating at 20 with minimal
Responsibilities, baggage, etc. we are middle aged folks with kids, custody, divorce, all of that fun stuff. Dating is NOT all fun and games at this stage. As much as we say it should be fun and easy, how can it be all butterflies and rainbows with all of the complications mid life comes with .

The good news is, no fun was killed at all for me with that question.

This is just reality.
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#2942260 Jan 15th a 10:48 PM
by DejaVu6
DejaVu6
The 24 hour text delay drives me crazy. I used to lament a lot that texting exists at all but it’s here to stay unfortunately and it is yet another way to gauge the state of your relationship. I get that some people aren’t great at texting BUT, regardless how busy I am or how bad I am at texting, if I know someone I am really interested in has reached out to me via text, I may wait 15 mins, 30 mins or an hour or two if I am really busy but I will never, ever wait 24 hours…not unless I am out of town and out of cell range. And if I am, I would pre-warn the object of my affection that I will be difficult to reach so may not reply in a timely manner. IDK…am I out to lunch here on this? I get that people don’t want to appear too eager or enthusiastic for fear of coming across as desperate and therefore becoming unattractive to the other person but isn’t 24 hours a long time to routinely wait to respond to someone. To me, this falls into the category of pay attention to what someone does rather than what they say.

Personally G… I think the pay off of getting to hang out with someone as cool as you should outweigh the torture of putting together a couple of worlds so the object of his affection isn’t irritated by his lack of response. And let’s be clear… he KNOWS it irritates you. I like that you made plans when he didn’t contact you in time. That’s teaching him how to treat you and if he cares, he will adjust his behaviour. Next time he does something he knows bothers you and then asks if you are mad at him, I would be honest with him. “No, I’m not mad BUT when I reach out to you just to say “hi” and you take more than 24 hours to respond, it makes me feel like you aren’t really that interested in spending time together and it’s disappointing because it makes me start to lose interest as well.” It’s direct, it’s honest and it challenges him to increase his efforts (if he is as interested) or be honest with you in return.

I absolutely detest all these rules and games. I 100% believe that when/if I meet the “right” person, neither of us will need to play these games. The person I want to spend time with will prefer to be direct and honest…maybe not in the first date or two but definitely after a mutual interest has been established.

Anyway…just weighing in. Really want you to find your person my friend. (((HUGS)))
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#2942277 Jan 16th a 01:44 AM
by Dawn70
Dawn70
Well, again, simply my opinion, but I think people “freak out” (I hate that phrase by the way because it is another thing that is way over used and often misconstrued) about dating rules is because there isn’t one hard and fast set of rules and guidelines. They are all over the place. On this site, newcomers being encouraged to follow Sandi’s rules are getting one message consistent message from Sandi’s rules. Dating rules and guidelines come from a variety of sources, a variety of “experts” (some who are legit experts and some who aren’t any more expert than I am at playing golf). While there may be some consistency in parts of the message, there is not one real expert source where everyone gets the same thing. Take your coach for example. You clearly follow what he says and share that with others. Other men on this site have disagreed with the coach’s ways. Who is right? Well who’s to say?

I personally would take less exception with talk of dating rules and guidelines if there was a legit, recognized, expert source that portrayed specific, consistent info. Now, I realize people would still be different and interpret differently but if there was one consistent set that they could go back to, it would be easier to get people on the same page.

One of the rules I see over and over is about not waiting too long to set up an in person meet. When I was OLD, I wanted to get to know someone a bit before I met in person, so that rule didn’t work for me. Did I miss out on dates because of it? Maybe…….but if they are pushing me to do something uncomfortable did I really actually miss out?
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