Happy Belated Thanksgiving Everyone!!! Thank you for all the support. It means a lot. Update:
Gf created such a stink about me not having my son 2 days before Thanksgiving. Using the excuse that we need to clean the house and he shouldn't come over for those 2 days (Tuesday & Wednesday). I explained to her I was not foregoing those days just to clean the house. Guess what happened? We went food shopping with my s and it was fine. No issues at all. We cleaned the entire home after my son would leave at night and go to his moms. Everything got done, had a great Thanksgiving. All of that arguing and fighting was over nothing. If she would just listen to me sometimes and trust we can get things done if we work together. From Thanksgiving on, she was sweet as pie. Honestly, not even kidding, i feel like she might be bi-polar. She literally goes from one extreme to another. Then this morning she sends me a link to read about post partum and how the man needs to be patient and understanding. If she feels she is post partum then she should go and get that checked out. I never know what person i am getting. It is mentally exhausting.
She said she has a crazy proposition. She said she thinks I should go on dates with other women.
Uh oh. This is a major red flag. Seems like around here typically that proposition is the precursor to she's already found someone she wants to date, or at least wants to find someone she wants to date.
Originally Posted by Wolfman
I felt like this was some kind of trap.
Sounds like it could be. The thing is you can't control her, you can only do you - so keep DB'ing.
Originally Posted by Wolfman
i told her i would not do that. i said our focus is to work on our relationship not add other complexities to the situation.
Good to state it. Now you need to step back and DB like a madman.
Originally Posted by Wolfman
Deep down this made me feel like she was projecting, she wants to go out and see what else is out there.
Seems likely.
Wolfman - You're in a tough situation. I don't envy it. Remember the principles...give space, detach, try to find acceptance of the situation and inner peace, and improve yourself. All you can do is control you.
Oh - and stop sleeping with her (or get a vasectomy) so she doesn't get pregnant again.
This is the real DING DING DING DING!!!!
Or at least it should be. Like too many situations the kids are the real losers here. The adults at least have/had a choice. The children did not. Your son didn’t get a vote when his family split apart. Then if not bad enough he didn’t get a vote with this new woman who somehow wants him to bow to her every whim. She doesn’t get a say. She’s not his mother.
I won’t even go into how F’d up new woman is but she’s already doing more damage to your son. THIS you must put a stop to. Don’t allow her to abuse him like this. It’s your choice if you want to allow her to continue to abuse you but he doesn’t get that choice and needs you to step in and protect him.
Then there’s the new baby. OMG. So sad but you can’t undo that either. But you most certainly can keep all of this from happening again. Please don’t take that responsibility lightly.
Nobody wants to tell you we told you so. We all know why you did it. We were all there. We all felt the need to fill that void. We all wanted to fill it. It also doesn't matter if you failed yesterday. The past is gone. You have today. Don't fail today. Start by re-reading the book and by investing in yourself. Don't focus on where you are going. Focus on your next step on that road.
