Has anybody watched After Life with Ricky Gervais? Sweet show about a widower. Also some funny stuff.
Heading in to the office today on my day “off”, to play catch-up with phone calls and paperwork. Got some grocery shopping done this morning, plan to tackle my bedroom closet this weekend. Also need to catch up some miles for the thousand mile challenge.
Took a car load to the Goodwill this afternoon . Every load that leaves the house makes me feel freer.
Most of it was my stuff but I went through a couple of boxes CMM had in the garage, too. This stuff came from his storage unit a couple years ago and has just been sitting in the garage. I had told him, before he died, that if he sent me a message from the other side, no creepy flickering lights and stuff. I told him to send me butterflies.
In one of his boxes, was a small vintage glass tray, like maybe something you would serve olives or nuts in. And it’s embossed with butterflies on all four sides.
Happy Valentine's Day to all the valiant lovers here!
It's not a day I ever felt melancholy about after my divorce, because I realized in retrospect how hit and miss my ex was with celebrating it, and how that should have been my first clue that all was not as it seemed with him. I can buy my own dang candy anyway!
I even forgot completely about my ex's birthday this month. Like that song he's now just "someone that I used to know".
Celebrate all the other loving relationships you have in your life, with friends and family.
Wow. Still cleaning that closet and leafed through the photo albums I have there. Mind blowing.
Let me preface this by saying, when I was young, I thought my looks were nice, but boring. I was unpretentious and seriously did not realize how beautiful I was, although I wasn’t unhappy with my appearance. My ex, being someone who could never be satisfied in life, would occasionally nitpick at something or other about my appearance, but honestly, I didn’t pay him much mind. I knew I was okay.
But looking through those albums - OMG, I was f-ing gorgeous!!!! I don’t say this to brag - I can’t take any credit for it - but what an idiot my ex was. I was kind, smart, beautiful, sexy, and although not an athlete, there I am rock climbing and backpacking and skiing - not exactly a couch potato either. Nothing was ever good enough for him and he was an idiot who couldn’t enjoy it even when he had it all.
I keep these photo books for my kids. They encompass many years of my adult life. I haven’t edited out my ex. I don’t display any photos of him in my home, but I haven’t cut him out either.
It actually helps to see them again - it just reminds me how warped he was.
I'm sorry that this entire forum isn't working properly. Cadet and I have been complaining about it for months, maybe all the way back to the summer. We don't even get notifications when a new person comes on board. The edit button has been another issue that we have repeatedly asked for and still do not have the capability on this particular forum to edit. The only way we know is to check all of the forums and locate them and then send an email to the main office to approve the newbies for posting.
I'm not making excuses...but the situation here hasn't gotten better with the new format...it's worse.
Nice article on Thich Nhat Hanh's book about How to Love, just google "How to Love: Legendary Zen Buddhist Teacher Thich Nhat Hanh on Mastering the Art of “Interbeing”"
As much as I sometimes complain about my ex (largely stirred up by the ways he is failing our children) I do relate to this article in that I see my ex as the wounded child he is, and his narcissism as the unhealthy result of his poor inner sense of self. I feel more sorry for him than anything.
I've also found, in my post-divorce dating life, that it is easier to love people that I am with if I don't have expectations of them. The less I need someone in my life, the easier it is to accept the people that come into my dating life for who and what they are. I don't fret over that Love Avoidant guy who wouldn't become my long term partner even though we really had chemistry - I accept him as a friend now who was a bright spot in my life when I needed it, and who gave me what he had to give.
