Thread Like Summary
bttrfly, Traveler, wayfarer
Total Likes: 5
Original Post (Thread Starter)
by Traveler
Traveler
"Abusive childhood -> Divorcing wife after 10yrs due to her untreated postpartem depression -> Left by live-in GF of 3yrs who vented at me due to a neurodegenerative disease. I've had lows but also hiked, climbed, kayaked, traveled, and loved passionately.. plus my kids are great."

Prior Thread -
https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2923871

My life is NOT a horror story. A lot is going right. A lot is on a positive path.

--- Daily Doings

Friday, I texted four friends I ignored this past month. I did not drop all my friends while dating Ms Sunshine, but I did drop some. Normally, I'd feel guilty. But such guilt/shame isn't helpful. Keeping in touch is a shared responsibility. Sometimes we get busy. It's not the end of the world. wink

Ms J (a friend I see weekly) met me for lunch and told me about some major changes in her life.

Ms R (5yr friend) invited me for a glass of wine. She seemed to enjoy a happy escape--and we tacked on music, dinner, and a stroll through her downtown. After walking her to her car (her suggestion).. she stepped into my space. NOT going there. I wished her goodnight and drove home.

Both the above see Ms. Sunshine today.

Today is 100% clear to focus on me and my home.
Tomorrow is 50% clear to focus on me and my home, 50% I'm taking an outdoor skills class.

It's funny. This likely seems "busy" to some. I'm grappling with so many free hours.

--- The Garage

Confession. Beyond the tons of things and the water heater leak.. there's a rat infestation. That's my final shame part about the garage. The good news is when I cleared 200+ gallons of debris in the backyard I discovered that's actually where the rats live--the debris providing cover and the leaky water heater providing a source of hydration. Today, I do the water heater and rat trap, and whatever else I can do to whip the room into shape so laundry becomes easy again.

--- Casual

I'm thinking about what Ready2Change said about casual relationships. I know one-night deals don't work for me, but I've never tried casual. It could be an opportunity to be more direct, and to focus on the present instead of romanticizing about possible futures.

--- Parents

My childhood abusers are in town. At some point, they may knock on my door. I can't be away all weekend. I wonder what I'll do if they knock and won't stop knocking. I am working through a book on the shame childhood victimization causes and dealing with it through compassion.
Liked Replies
by Traveler
Traveler
I'm glad I could provide additional motivation for you and your son, butterfly, lol.
1 member likes this
by bttrfly
bttrfly
I will state it once more for those in the bleacher/nosebleed seats:


D A T E
Y O U R S E L F
1 member likes this
by pinn
pinn
Man c-dub…. You are wildly all over the place. I would delete those apps for a good 6 months. I don’t think you are being fair to anyone right now… including yourself.
1 member likes this
by kml
kml
Quote
CW there's a lovely soul and I'm sure a man a whole lot of women would be happy to have

Yeah CW - you're smart, fit, self-aware, a good dad - all great things that women are looking for. Don't sell yourself short. Turn away from the red flags, do some more work, and when the time comes, look for a stable, kind, loving woman who appreciates you and doesn't bring drama and uncertainty into your life. It will feel strange, you're used to chaos, but trust me, you'll be much happier.
1 member likes this
by wayfarer
wayfarer
CW could you please just read what I wrote? The rest of this is confetti. The names. The "judging" you. Whatever. It's white noise. It only carries as much weight as you allow it to have. I'd just really appreciate if you could take the time to read what I wrote and respond.
1 member likes this