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#2923453 09/13/2021 1:23 PM
by Wolfman

That is the previous link.
Things with the GF are getting better. I am learning to be patient, that she just wants the best for our baby. Also, realize that she is going through changes hormonally and slack of sleep. I am working on not taking things so personally and just moving forward. The nice thing is to see my GF and my son starting to build a relationship again. They are talking more and joking more. It really makes me so happy. I hope it will continue. My son loves his baby brother, I knew once he saw him and was around him, his feelings would change. I don’t think there is anything his mother could do at this point to sabotage that. I took my son out to Dave and Busters and he wanted to win his baby brother a prize, which he did and was so happy about. These are the things I love and make me so happy.

As far as my daughter. It is really hard for me. She just continues to bash me and say how horrible I was (which most of the time is not true). I am trying to listen and validate, but when they are straight up lies or not even. Close to the truth I feel a need to defend myself. The therapist is starting to see more through her bs, and the therapist said she is seeing more and more alienation. She also told me that if things don’t improve soon, she is going to recommend to the court a forensic psychologist. I really hope so, it needs to be documented that their is alienation and she needs the proper therapist to address this. I miss my daughter so much and I am missing out on so much time with her!!!
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#2934178 May 20th a 05:54 PM
by Valeska19
It seems like you are walking a very fine line. If you do things for your g/f you don't want to do - you will build up EVEN more resentment & Anger. It's time to look inward - figure out what's important to you.. and to be honest with yourself. I ask these questions without judgment.

Are you hesitant to give up some gym time? Why? What does it provide for you? What are you perceive will happen if you give a few days up a week?

What do you think quality time of watching TV means to your g/f?
Do you want to love your g/f the way she is asking? Is it important to YOU to fullfill her needs in this way?

Once you have some of these answers - are you able to communicate it with her. If there are answers you don't like - are you able to work on them within yourself?

For example: Substitute your g/f with you son. Would you stay up an extra hour to spend time with him. Answering this question would reveal alot about how you are feeling about your g/f

I totally get the exhaustion. I work very demanding hours (17 hour shift on Monday). It's important to me to make time for my partner when I get home from work. Time is her second love language.. and it's important to ME that I treat her in that way. Some days I just don't have it - and that's okay... it's about the motive. I'm not just doing it because it's important to her.. I'm doing it because it's important to ME to treat her that way. Doing it for me eliminates my need to be angry at her.. because it's not about her. I hope that makes sense...

Looking forward to hearing the answers to the questions posted above. Hang in there... Rough Seasons of life are never easy... but you can do this.
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