She does not take accountability for her faults and likely never will. She does not love herself. I do not trust her to ever put in the work required for self-improvement.
This is the most accurate statement you’ll ever find on this website.
All of us who arrive here share the same pathology.
We are committed to our relationship, we are prepared to fix, improve, practice, reset and work on ourselves and our relationship.
Our partners are not. Either because of an affair, or MLC, or trauma or any other reason.
So we have a dynamic where one person is in, and one person is out. The person who is out, however, doesn’t want it to be their fault. They don’t want to look themselves in the mirror and see a bad person.
So they blame us, and being fixers, we end up here at DB.com desperately seeking answers, living in fear and trying work out what to say/do/be.
It is VERY rare to find someone who comes here who was a genuinely BAD and terrible spouse.
While you could probably count on one hand the number of LBS here whose spouse weren’t in an active affair (EA or PA), you’ll find it even less likely for a WAS/WS to accept responsibility for treating us poorly, breaking their vow or hurting their kids’ future.
It’s just the way it is. I wouldn’t say she “likely never will” take accountability for her her faults… I’d say you’re more likely to win a $100million dollar lottery.
