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It is absolutely frustrating to see immoral behaviors modeled and poor values enabled.
Yo B come on now other than the "wasted banana" I think Scotty is over doing it.
I don't know. I wouldn't want my 13yo wearing shirts with beer, pot, or condoms on them, or gifted a manscaping trimmer. Overall the loss of control of the morals and values for your kids is a tough pill to swallow. But, like so much, it's something we have to let go.
Originally Posted by LH19
Originally Posted by BL42
To some extent it's a parenting struggle even while in a marriage with trust and mutual respect, but the problems are certainly magnified in divorce where the children can "divide and conquer".
Scotty B was married to this woman for 20 years and was fine wither her moral fiber than. Do you think it changed that much?
That I can't answer. My kids were 4 & 1 when ExW left, so I didn't see much about her character or values as a mother, but we did disagree on nutrition and screen time. Doesn't seem like my ExW turned on a dime parenting-wise. If ScottB has 20 years together / 14 as mother, he'd know the difference.
SteveLW,
Originally Posted by SteveLW
Scott, I have no answers for you. But I empathize with you. Our kids grow up so fast and are sexualized younger and younger these days. I am with you on the old-fashioned front....and there ain't anything wrong with being old-fashioned!
Agreed. Maybe I'm too old-fashioned even at my relatively "young" age.
Originally Posted by SteveLW
Unfortunately, again, I think it is out of your control. Likely she is feeling guilty at ruining the kids lives (not really true but many WASs end up with that guilt), and now she is trying to be buddies with them.
Yep. You would not believe the number of stuffed animals my ExW has bought for the kids in the last two years. It's past the point of ridiculousness where we literally have moving boxes of them in the basement. My guess is there's some guilt over the kids situation behind those purchases. Analogous to the "cool" alcohol/pot/condom shirts - being a friend and assuaging guilt vs. hard parental stand.
Originally Posted by SteveLW
I am guess your email went (or will) go over like a lead balloon. You made your position known, but I highly doubt she will honor your wishes. Maybe you will be pleasantly surprised. Likely she will use it as a way to drive a wedge and make herself look better.
I agree the email will likely go over like a lead balloon but also don't think it's wrong to send - if you're standing up for what you believe is right for your children I think it's fair as a father to weigh in, just know you ultimately can't control it.
