I am not going to comment on whether Traveler's advice was right or not, but I do understand his perspective. I feel he was highlighting an important issue in the marriage that the LBS needed to address if there was to be any chance of R. Also, since the LBS had little control over the WAS's actions, I don't feel the advice changes anything other than making the LBS understand that he needed to step up in this area. Could have definitely been worded better, but I felt the intent of his advice came from a good place.

I am going to play Devil's advocate on a few comments here. It does not come from a jaded perspective but rather a very stark and honest look at the reality of marriage today, without being clouded by the romantic idea of what a marriage is.

Originally Posted by BL42
Another way to read this is vows are meaningless.

Vows and a ceremony are optional in most places to be legally married. Hence, the vows are only as meaningful as the person saying it wants it to be. Since 50% of marriages don't last, you could make an argument that vows are meaningless

Originally Posted by BL42

Marriage is meant to be a lifetime commitment and traditionally the vows explicitly call out "for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health"

In today's society, marriage is a commitment to stay married till you get divorced. People can and do choose to end their marriage because thing got worse, their spouse is not as rich as they would like them to be or their spouse is sick. The concept of no fault divorce shows whether it truly is a lifetime commitment. Yes, for some it is a personal choice but with 50% of marriages ending in divorce the lifelong commitment camp is in the minority.

Originally Posted by BL42
To LH's point: "It's comments like this that solidify my stance that marriage is a joke."

Comments like these are a small percentage of things that can aid solidify this stance smile Pick any thread on Newcomers and you will find a lot more.