A bit worried (again / still) about my son. He canceled brunch yesterday "not feeling up to it". Poor kid. I expect that he's still not found a new job and is struggling with depression and anxiety about it all which provides a negative feedback loop making it harder to get out there I'm sure.
He knows that I'm here and that I can cover rent if he needs it. It's tempting to just send him some money but I think that would probably upset him.
His sister does know that he's off work as of the middle of the month since he told her when they chatted at my birthday. No clue if that's been passed on to their mother or not. I suspect she doesn't talk to her mother often.
It does make parenting tougher when you are running blind with what the other may be doing. I suspect nothing.
Wish I had someone to talk to about this. I of course don't know what if anything his mother knows or is doing. If past experience is any guide her response for things like this when we were married is to get angry and then demand that I make ultimatums. And then get angry with me when I would refuse but also not do anything herself.
One of the things that makes it tough to work with my son is that he and his mother are very alike personality-wise. It's not as triggering as it was years ago but I do still remember that treading carefully around difficult issues is necessary to prevent explosions.
There's a couple of job fairs this week that I've sent the info to him about. Hopefully he goes out to those.
It's tough to want to help someone but also to know that the best thing to do is nothing active. Kind of parallels the whole divorce stuff in some ways as I was always the one who fixed things / made it all better in the marriage. It was tough to let her soak in her own juices and as far as I know it all turned out ok for her without my input. I certainly can't "make" him do anything. He's a grown man who wants to do it on his own. Frustrating for a fix-it type like me.
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I was running out of bath bombs on the weekend so popped in to P's shop to pick up some more. I'm continuing to get an "I'm interested" vibe out of her. She wanted me to send her some pictures of my rubber duck and the bath-bombs in use for her daughter so I posted some on my social media and tagged both businesses. From what she's said it seems that she's talked about me to her daughter a fair amount. She also made a point of talking about how financially stable she is and how she likes to live frugally like I do.
Leads me into another odd encounter. A social media friend who has been doing some "influencer" type stuff messaged me about my ablutory adventures. We chatted for a bit and she sent me a picture of her own tub with her in it (PG rated - legs and feet only) and suggested I check out her OnlyFans account. I think she's been struggling to keep up a revenue stream - she started all of this in the early days of the internet and the fact she could make a bit of cash was a bonus for her. But after all these years she's running out of new things to try. I sympathized that social media is a beast that can be tough to feed.
Nice to know that my fondness for a nice soak in the tub does seem attractive to some though.
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We had a lengthy power outage yesterday just as I was doing up the Sunday Supper dishes. Finished them by candle-light and then went to bed. The UPS kept my CPAP going for the couple of hours until the power came back on. It was weird going to bed and having that one light and the machine working while the rest of the house and village was dark. Glad I made that investment.
It took some effort to put in the effort last night - just not been feeling it lately. I made a loaf of bread using the recipe a friend gave me that uses quick rising yeast. I did a 1/2 recipe and it worked great. Steak, potatoes, steamed veg and a slice of pie for desert (store bought).
Working from home is getting tiresome and isolating feeling. I may take myself out to the pub for dinner sometime this week to get some human contact. I still have probably at least another month of this to grind through though and need to find the focus needed.
