As for dating - maybe before you jump back into the pool, you should draft up a set of rules or guidelines for yourself
I think before the "who" question can be addressed, the "why" needs to be first. Then perhaps the "how" before I would get to the "who". Still chewing on all of this.
Why date: 1. companionship 2. eventual partnership (which is important to you, I think) 3. living together apart?
How to date: I started a list of how to meet people but then deleted it. I think the correct answer is: * to date slowly - no codependent BS * to hold firm boundaries on what is comfortable * to not allow yourself to be pushed beyond your comfort zone in terms of accelerated false intimacy * to limit the time you spend together on the front end so that you're not enmeshed * to maintain your own outside interests in addition to common interests * to go out with someone YOUR interested in who also happens to be interested in you too (not the other way around, "she likes me so I'll give it a shot")
