We've had LBSs here that hang on every word their WAS says, even though the WAS's actions are diametrically opposed to what they are saying. Trying to find an emotional evenness should be your goal, in fact that is detachment. Not reacting emotionally to his words or deeds.
Your reply made me think about starting a different journal, specifically dedicated in noting words vs actions that my H does. I found journalling to be helpful, so this may give me some ways to see things in a more factual way.
Yes we all struggled with wanting to hear and see what we wanted to. This sounds like a good idea.
