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(((Cathy))). Gosh I so empathize with how you are feeling. I was desperately afraid of being alone and it was difficult in the beginning when my kids would go to their dad’s. In that process, however, I realized two very important things:
1) I had been alone in my marriage for a very long time. I just didn’t realize it because being “married” gave me the illusion of having a partner that I did not have in reality. A partner doesn’t fake medical treatments for four years in order to abandon his wife and family (read my thread…it is an unbelievable story).
2) Being alone does not have to mean that you are lonely. I was desperately lonely when I was married. And I have learned that I much prefer my own company to the company of someone around whom I have to walk on eggshells. That’s no way to live. But I had lived with it for so long, I didn’t know any better. I had forgotten what peaceful happiness feels like. I remember now. It feels great Cathy. I do have to say one thing though… as bad as my XH was, he NEVER, EVER called me names. That’s abuse, plain and simple, and something you should not accept. Please, please, please… work on your fear of losing him. Because that is what it is…fear. You need to ask yourself what it is exactly that you are afraid of and work at overcoming it. No one should ever be afraid of losing someone who treats them poorly. Just picture what it would feel like to get up every morning and walk into your kitchen feeling calm and peaceful because there is no one lurking around waiting to make you feel bad about yourself. Trust me Cathy. Alone is soooooo much better than that.
