Nice article on Thich Nhat Hanh's book about How to Love, just google "How to Love: Legendary Zen Buddhist Teacher Thich Nhat Hanh on Mastering the Art of “Interbeing”"

As much as I sometimes complain about my ex (largely stirred up by the ways he is failing our children) I do relate to this article in that I see my ex as the wounded child he is, and his narcissism as the unhealthy result of his poor inner sense of self. I feel more sorry for him than anything.

I've also found, in my post-divorce dating life, that it is easier to love people that I am with if I don't have expectations of them. The less I need someone in my life, the easier it is to accept the people that come into my dating life for who and what they are. I don't fret over that Love Avoidant guy who wouldn't become my long term partner even though we really had chemistry - I accept him as a friend now who was a bright spot in my life when I needed it, and who gave me what he had to give.