The hurt I felt was "my" hurt and are only tangentially related to her in that we were in the same marriage.
Were you, though? In the same marriage? I often think about the fact that the marriage I thought I was in was very different from the one my ex was in. I’ll take the one I was in any day.
Semantics. I choose to believe my own version of the past.
There were lots of rumours circulating around that I feel are irrelevant about past improper behaviour. I've also been told that she has a narrative that is at odds with available evidence. Where does the actual truth lie? Not really relevant to me.
For me and my peace of mind, I'm not wanting to re-write any history and accept my own narrative that she was a loyal and faithful wife up until she wasn't that one time. Which other than the last bit, was her narrative as well. Would I ever trust her again? No way on this good earth would I. Heck, I'm having trouble with the concept of every trusting "anyone", much less someone who was capable of doing what she did, in the manner she did it regardless of any pain endured or caused in the process.
For others who had to deal with a long-term pattern of abuse of whatever form, it's perhaps different. In my misfortune, I am much more fortunate than most. For the life I lead now, I have more freedom and fewer responsibilities than I would had my marriage continued. My non-existant sex life is only marginally off what it would have been if we'd stayed married too
