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Her friends are finding out they’ve been being duped over the last months believing her manipulative lie filled narrative. It will be interesting to see what they do.
Originally Posted by LeeChild
This person who used to communicate so clearly, and wisely, about everyone else's issues, who had ZERO patience for any infidelity in the lives of our friends and family, has been lying about her own affair for months.
Oh yes, they become the opposite of who they once were. It is incredible how driven they are to such transformative feelings. Irrational pressures of past unrealized traumas and pains surge upwards to the fore and consume them.
Originally Posted by LeeChild
At this point, there is finality. This person is, in a very literal way, totally different. I can't imagine anything she could do or say, no scenario in which I would want to forgive and reconvene the relationship. Now I am mostly just sad about the deterioration of this human being armed with the knowledge that this abominable union she is in, is doomed-- the proverbial slow moving train wreck.
I do want to email her and just rip her to utter pieces now that I have nothing holding me back-- but I know how futile and ego driven that is. Still, it seems like she thinks she just played all this perfectly and really "got away" so to speak-- and she did literally "get away".
Her life is most likely a slow moving train wreck. Yes, most do feel like they got away with it. It’s the high from their life at the moment. Fate, karma, her comeuppance, it will come. No need to watch or wait for it. Let her exist in her creation. Exist. She’s not living. Believe it.
It’s is very nice to see your wisdom shinning with your awareness of your ego’s want for vengeance. It is most true, ripping into her is futile, ego driven, and very short sighted. You feel good for far shorter a duration than you even imagine. Stick to the better path.
To that end, the better path, some advice. And by the way, like everything, it is for you and your well being. Not to spare XW; that is just a byproduct of the good path.
Originally Posted by LeeChild
…just rip her to utter pieces now that I have nothing holding me back.
You have you holding you back. Your wisdom. Your rational self. Your worth.
You need not saddle yourself with remorse from harsh words towards XW. She won’t listen anyhow, and you will feel bad.
Be better not bitter. Be the best version of yourself. Besides, if you really want revenge - live your great life. Years from now, she will absolutely regret leaving such a man.
Originally Posted by LeeChild
I can't imagine anything she could do or say, no scenario in which I would want to forgive and reconvene the relationship.
Lee, uncouple what you said. Uncouple how you are looking at this.
“…no scenario in which I would want to forgive and reconvene the relationship.”
Forgive and reconvene are two separate things.
Fine, you do not want to reconvene.
Quote
I can't imagine anything she could do or say, no scenario in which I would want to forgive and reconvene the relationship.
However, you need to work towards seeing, imagining, forgiveness. That is completely for you. Forgiveness towards XW is for you!
Keep forgiveness separate. It’s part of that good path. Walk in the light and with Grace. Better not bitter. Compassionate. It is so worth it. And so are you!
Originally Posted by LeeChild
All of this is just so strange. Does anyone ever REALLY know anyone else.
And on top of that, do we even know ourselves?
Truly knowing another. Yes and no.
We have knowledge, history, trust, respect, and faith in them and yet something unknown can rise from the depths and obliterate the one we once knew.
I find it is not so much not knowing them, for we did know who they were. For years they behaved and demonstrated characteristics and qualities that were good. Qualities we loved and cherished.
It is the future we cannot know. We do predict based upon past and historical actions. We have faith and trust in our spouse. Yet, they become this other person. This opposite of our loving spouse.
It’s an interesting question and an even more interesting answer. We can know, and did know, our spouse. We don’t know, or didn’t know, the changeling they turn in to.
Like most things. It depends upon one’s viewpoint.
Do we even know ourselves?
Within the crucible the true test of a person happens. We do learn, find, and know ourselves. A person’s true character, values, and convictions will surface in such extreme conditions.
Do we even know ourselves? Absolutely!
However, it’s what happens next that is the important part. Do we grow and become better with this knowledge and understanding of self? In the quest for that answer, is when one REALLY knows themselves.
Walk in the light. Life journey is what matters, not the destination. How we walk the path is much more important than where we get to.
Knowing, comes from past history. We can only know ourselves from our past. Our future is thankfully unknown. As the future becomes the past, we keep discovering more and more of who we are. Strengthen that which serves. Create that which you aspire to. And alter or discard that which you don’t desire.
We know ourselves from our past. We learn about ourselves with every single passing present moment.
