Good thoughts on the self-esteem/getting people to like you. I think you're right that it can play apart along with LH's loss of control theory, and several others.
The push-pull / work hard to get them back / dropping pressure & pursuit dynamics are certainly interesting and something I hadn't considered much before, but have given a lot of thought post-BD on this forum and other resources.
How are things with you and your wife? Are things still well? Any personal updates to share on your own sitch?
Things are great! We are empty nesters. We are partners. We are getting along better than at any other time in our R, including while we were dating. When we were dating we were terrible at conflict resolution, often freezing each other out. Now we talk through things. We work together. It is so much better.
No real updates to share. We continue to just try to improve as spouses each and every day. She is doing much better as a wife, I have done a complete 180 as a husband. And it is just working.
