Good Morning E

I’m glad your week away was relaxing. The truly relaxed state is quite rejuvenating.

Originally Posted by Elbereth
DnJ, you say wait a year to date. I don't disagree. But if we are separated a year and the divorce drags out a year, etc, etc, who wants to wait that long? I certainly don't want that. I do agree that you shouldn't until you are ready, and I think that should be the guide. You have to commit to yourself to spend the time on the work and on being happy alone. If you have done that and feel you are ready then you could be ready. I do feel that I will also find some healing in my next relationships too. Avoiding them isn't the answer...doing the work on yourself I think is. So I plan to do that first, and I hope I am already doing that. But I am not going to stop meeting people if it comes up and an interesting option comes around... That's just me.

I get it. Who wants to wait a year or two or four. And that is kind of the point.

However, I didn’t say wait a year to date. I said, do not date for at least a year post divorce. That is not waiting around for the timer to expire then go dating. Life is meant to live.

I absolutely agree that one should not date until they are ready. That is actual beyond when the feel ready. It takes time to heal and get to the place where you know and believe it!

Yes, your next relationship will help with healing. And that next relationship is a most interesting one. One you’ve been within for a long time. That person is you.

Past the limbo, through the PTSD, codependency, and such, is a different landscape. Find the new world, breathe the fresh free air, for you are so very worth the effort.

By the way, there is no one way fits all. No “the right way” through all of this. You know your situation best. I’m just passing on some of my views and values. They may resonate within you or not. They may fit or not. It still is, and always has been, your choice. And I support you.

D