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A Message from Michele
Active Threads | Active Posts | Unanswered Today | Since Yesterday | This Week
For Newcomers
10/17/19 03:46 AM
LOVE IT!!! What a great quote! Thank you for sharing. (((Yail)))
17 585 Read More
Midlife Crisis
10/17/19 03:42 AM
100 3,621 Read More
For Newcomers
10/16/19 11:16 PM
Originally Posted by IHCLACS
Hey guys,

I guess the reason why I'm writing about all this is in wondering if anyone has experienced this type of increasing dysfunction and how the cope with it, deal with it, etc. I understand why they are doing it, but that doesn't mean that I don't find it childish or manipulative.



Hey IH how you doing buddy?

This psych thing she's doing with ignoring you is what I got too. I endured it for weeks and weeks. Glued to the Iphone, for hours, giggling and joking with SD, SD and XW playing loud music, hanging out and laughing in the bathroom...

Let it all wash over you. Its how some XW's keep their minds busy, probably to drown out the thoughts swirling in their heads. Don't raise it with her ever again.

Nice job in moving out soon. Good place? How you going to put your personal touches on it mate?

Cheers DS
35 1,093 Read More
For Newcomers
10/16/19 10:21 PM
103 2,084 Read More
For Newcomers
10/16/19 07:21 PM
Ryan I feel you on the schedule thing, I am working on that in my sitch as well.

Your IC's proposal sounds pretty fair. What does your W want? The status quo where you have the kids on both weekend nights? Sorry, not very fair.

I see 2 decent options here - what your IC proposes is one. The other would be a schedule where W takes the kids every Saturday night so you get a weekend night off, and you would also have every Sunday off. This way you each get a weekend night and weekend day with and without the kids. If I had to choose I would say the best night to have off for social activities is Saturday night, and the best "day of rest" is Sunday, but that's me. This schedule would have you alternating Tuesdays I think, if you want to keep things 50/50 over time.

Are your kids in dance and other activities every single Saturday all year round? If so and that is your only weekend day you might not get the quality time you want. My kids have sports on Saturdays but only for some of the year, so I would get plenty of open Saturdays. If you won't get a bunch of free Saturdays, then the every-other-weekend schedule might be better for you as you would get every other Sunday as a free day with the kids to do whatever.

Lots to think about. Do you have a L to run this by? If not does the family court have someone you can talk to about schedules? I know in my jurisdiction it is pretty common for a judge to go with 50/50 and every other weekend if the parents can't agree. It would be helpful to know what to expect if you can't get W to agree.

Good luck buddy.
36 1,533 Read More
For Newcomers
10/16/19 06:20 PM
16/10/2019

Just an update. I was served divorce papers in July 2019, the court date was set in Germany for the end of September.
I did not attend as I live in Ireland. I had a representative.

It was settled out of court and the Divorce is now being finalized. As we had no kids, or house my STBXWW was entitled to nothing. I did not challenge the Divorce, as what was the point anymore.

Her baby is due with AP in December. I did not want to see her in Court pregnant, as this would have stayed with me forever.

The last contact was in February. She cut me out of her life like I didn' exist.

I'm doing better, keeping busy and looking forward to moving on with my life and putting this chapter to bed.
Manta.
82 2,157 Read More
Surviving the Big D
10/16/19 05:52 PM
AS - I know I know.... still dunno what they're thinking. She's shacked up with her new man and they bought a new house together, and she's procrastinating on the D papers.... WTF LOL!!!!!!

DV - Thanks a lot. Yeah I am doing phenomenal and inching my way towards the good things in life... not waiting by trynna make it happen through patience and consistency. I am looking forward to the dating world sometime in 2020..

In other news... after a protracted battle with nicotine, I finally won the war and been smoke free for a week now. I know I am still in the vulnerable zone and need to be vigilant... but I feel hella amazing already and looking forward to a healthy smoke-free life from now on smile
75 2,183 Read More
For Newcomers
10/16/19 02:00 PM
Even if it doesnt lead to a change in your Hs plans, it sounds like it was an important conversation to have regardless. As Thornton advised....stay the course and keep your expectations low. (((HUGS)))
64 1,422 Read More
Surviving the Big D
10/16/19 03:08 AM
103 2,794 Read More
Midlife Crisis
10/15/19 08:22 PM
Gerda, thanks for checking in. I agree that at this point in our lives, any relationship is and will continue to be complicated. Any time you try to meld people with children there is stress. Any time you try to combine people with rough pasts there will be strain.

I've been out with several women and all of them have totally different histories and also their marriages have all ended different from one another. Some have been widowed, some are still in communication with and some are totally estranged.

After being out of the dating game for 28 years, it is totally different than I remember. It is not as organic as it once was. It seems that everyone wants to meet online first and kind of go thru a pre-date interview before actually meeting. Weird.

All that being said...I'm not sold on the whole dating game. it is nice to be out with someone that is truly interested in you and learning about you, but it is a ton of work. I guess college dating in the past seemed so easy. We didn't have so many other things that we were involved in.

>>>>>

Journaling:
My father-in-law just stopped by my office to say hello. We visited for a few minutes before he had to get back to his office. Just as he was leaving he awkwardly mentioned that the ex isn't seeing the OM any longer. He said...I guess she found out that it isn't always rosier on the other side. This guy, who is a man of few words, just cracks me up. Not sure why he felt that he needed to let me know that, but it is funny.
69 3,435 Read More
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