Hi guys !
My D was 9-18 and I .. as most of you should know.. have my kids at home.
It is time to get out there and do my thing, I think ? Not seriously.. but to meet people and make some friends and let life move along.
My Question is simply this:
What have YOU been doing in that dept ?
I dont want to meet someone and be in a serious relationship yet I want to move along ? Life is only so long etc... I am ME !
Part of the DB'ing process is about us.. the main part, I think ?
Give me hell .. and give me feedback. I love you guys but no standers need apply on this one.
Come Along ? WE have to go somewhere and learn to interact again.. and learn to trust/care about someone else.. and go through the rentry into the atmosphere, I think ?
All replies appreciated.
Tom
Tom,
I worked in a very large place (about 3000 people) but I did NOT want to date anyone from work so I joined a dating service. I did it for about a year and had a lot of fun. Like you, I just wanted to meet people and GAL. The first few dates were nerve wracking and needless to say, I met some very "interesting" people. I could tell some stories!!!
Anyway, I got off of it for a year and didn't meet people that I wanted to date so I rejoined for 3 mos (I think). This time around, I was more ready for a R so I was much pickier about who I actually met from the site. As a result, I'm now with someone that I adore and couldn't be happier. We've been together for a little over a year.
Dating sites aren't for everyone but it worked for me and some others in this forum. Good luck and be prepared to have some laughs!!!!
Hi quoe !
I love your story !
Slow and easy, eh ? I am very picky btw..What causes US to lose ourselves like that. So hard to find !?
Just me I suppose ?
Tom
Hey Tom
I'm one of the ones it worked for. So glad I took the chance, My story is almost exactly like Jills, tried dating sites, a few actually , met some nice guys but no love connections and that was ok I wasnt ready for long term.
A year ago I started again, and as luck would have it, met a wonderful man and we have been together 10 months and counting.
There are all different kinds of sites for all different kind of people, whatever your taste I happen to meet my sweetie on catholic singles. Just worked for us.
Good Luck
Tom,
I'm about on the same time frame as you...my D was finalized 8/28. XH and I've been separated almost a year.
I have started dating. One of my friends was trying to set me up with this guy and when I mentioned that I was going to start dating to a different friend, she said well my husband and I thought you might get along with my husband's best friend. Bachelor #1 turned out to be a dud...he didn't even talk to me when we were going to meet. Bachelor #2 turned out much better than I was expecting. However, I told her that I didn't want anything serious and she said he DEFINATELY doesn't either. Well, I'm two weeks into this and I'm pretty sure that I'm in a relationship with him...I think he's very impressed by me. We talk every day and will be going out on our third date this weekend. I don't know if it's good or bad, but I'm just going with my gut. I like him and I like feeling appreciated. I think that the best thing is to just get out there and see for yourself what's out there and what feels right. I over-analyze everything, but for this first time in my life, I'm going to just try and go with it and see where life takes me.
Hi Tom!
Well, it took me a while to even be remotely interested in dating again - I had barely dated in high school - married my first love. And we all know how that turned out.
I had been interested in a couple of guys on the bb but sometimes I think that happens because they're there. Usually everyone is still bleeding over their split and these don't make great Rs. I know some have worked out but its better to get yourself together and be happy being single first.
My kids actually pushed me to get out there so, not meeting anyone in my city, I also joined a couple of dating sites. A good DB guy friend taught me "The Ropes". Like only giving out your first name, cel number and just meeting for coffee. That way you are safer.
Had a few coffee dates and didn't care if I ever saw the guys again. Oh, I had made lists of what I was looking for and not looking for so I was fairly choosy. Still, there were a few guys who interested me and vise versa.
Then I met Josh. He had been doing the online dating thing for a while but, like me, had met lots of women and never wanted a second date. Together, we were different. From our first date, we just clicked. And we've been dating for over 3 1/2 years now.
Looking back, I know I wasn't completely over my ex at that point, but I did know there was no going back. The new R has taught me that someone else COULD love me (my ego took a real hit when the one person I was sure of violated my trust in every possible way). I have learned that not everyone plays immature games, respect and reliability are of great importance to me. And the future isn't so important after all. Feeling secure in today beats that for me now. I don't know where it will lead but I stopped being afraid of that. I live for and enjoy today.
I only bash people who begin dating while they are still trying to save their M. That is not fair to anyone involved. You are divorced and it is perfectly fine for you to get your feet wet - just as the rest of us who went before you.
My best advice is to be clear on what you are going for but be willing to be flexible on the things of less importance. My compromises were on age difference (I wanted someone no younger or older than me than 4 years and my guy is actually 7 years younger - it has been an advantage I've learned) and also on distance between our homes (I wanted no one further than 45 min away and my guy is 70 min away). If someone is willing to make the commitment to be with you - you meet them halfway. That's how we did it in the beginning. Now we just take turns driving to the other's homes.
All I can say is "good luck". It is a scary but exciting time. Don't be in a hurry to "get there". Just enjoy the ride.
Barb
I think that the most important thing is to know who you are before trying to figure out who you are with someone else. For mostofmy life I tried to be, for everyone, who THEY wanted me to be.
I took awhile to figureout who I REALLY am this time. I have been divorced for over a year and have begun dating again fairly recently.
I have been very honest in my relationships...even when it's hard. Because I don't NEED anyone else...they are additions not necessary fixtures. And if they can't handle the truth...then they aren't additions, they are anchors.
It has also helped to keep things very low expectations. Sometimes I think that we are in a hurry to find "theone"
I already found "the one"...it's me so now is when I get to enjoy it!!!
Tommy pants??????????????
I don't think I am ready for you to date
Yes Honesty is the best advice Tom
Let them know you are in the dating circle to meet new people , friends, casual. Just in case they are not, prob best to make sure there are no misunderstandings or hurt feelings down the line.
That sounds like some real good advice.
Tom!
I have googled the concept and there are numerous pet lover dating sites out there.
mustlovedogs.com
datemypet.com
loveunleashed.com
Most of them are your run of the mill dog and cat lover types.
And it wasn't within my scope of interest so I didn't check, but I suppose it's always possible there are beaver lovers amongst those seeking love on those sites, wouldn't you think?
Be worth a looksee...
Or, you could be brave and put yourself out there as the first, inspiring other kindred Beav souls to confess their affection for the little paddle tailed rodents.
Or how about this, your own website even?
Dedicated exclusively to Beaver Lovers Seeking Beaver Lovers...
hmmm, what shall we call it?
Sorry to be so silly, but I truly have nothing to offer on the serious side of this discussion since, 9 months post divorce, I have yet to stick a toe in the water, and doubt I will muster the courage any time soon.
But good for you!
BA
Or how about this, your own website even?
Dedicated exclusively to Beaver Lovers Seeking Beaver Lovers...
hmmm, what shall we call it?
Snort. Thanks BBA, for getting my weekend started with a good laugh.
Tom, I didn't do so well at this. I "dated" nice guy very casually for several months, I'm sad to say largely because it was just nice to know I was attractive to someone. But I wasn't ready for anything even remotely heavy, and he was. So he is seeing someone else.
But I did want to say, if you want a good ego boost, go fill out the forms on eharmony.com. I was so brutally honest about myself I was sure I would get no "hits" at all...and I got so many hits it scared me and I deleted them all and withdrew from the site! Guess I wasn't ready after all. Dating has sure changed since the 80s!
So this was no help, but there is always the beaverlovers avenue...
Hugs,
AH
Well.. BA.. I was thinking about joining "Beavers Without Partners".. jsyk ?
I dont know if I want or need an ego boost,AH? I think the advice to take things slow and just be casual about these things with little or no expectation is something I can follow. Yes, we are not in the 80's anymore, eh ?
Thank you to everyone that posted to the thread btw.. eventually most of us will be in this spot.. and it is great to hear from those of you that have been through this topic.
That is what I like about the DBB.. a wealth of Experience, knowledge and information .
Tom
mustlovedogs.com
datemypet.com
loveunleashed.com
?? seriously? too funny! Love the names.
yep a site for just about any interest!
Oh geeze Tom.........I could tell you some stories, but it would take to long, lol.
Hey, learn to love yourself, take things slow, have fun.
Have faith in faith.
More later,
Friend
A kindred soul. You sound like me preaching to the girlfriends! :-)))
J
umm.. I have plenty of time ?
Let's Do the Time Warp Again ?? It is just a jump to the left..
Tom
And then a step to the right......
put your hands on your hips....
And pull your knees in tight.....
And pull your knees in tight!
Fight, Fight, Fight............sorry I'm still a cheerleader at heart! I'm leaving now........
That really drives you insane.
Let's do the time-warp again.
Let's do the time-warp again
and toilet paper and water guns and and and
And a MeatLoaf !
Where is Ty.. He could enter the Tim Curry look alike contest, eh ?
Tom
Hey Tom - saw the title of your thread and thought I'd weigh in. Ummmm....yeah...I've pretty much jumped back into the pool with both feet.
I'm really enjoying it. It has helped me move on. It has done wonders for my confidence. Helps me realize that I have a lot to offer. I'm taking it slow. Nothing serious...just a lot of fun.
I think back to a time last winter. I was talking with Ian. Told him that I wasn't funny. I wanted to be funny...but I just didn't have it. I wanted to make my now STBX laugh. Well guess what - I'm a friggin' riot!!!
Just couldn't be with her. And that is sad...but it is what it is.
I went out with this girl on Saturday night - she emailed me afterwards and told me how great it was to laugh so much. She had her head back, mouth open, laughing so hard the whole bar was looking at us....yup...good for the ol' self confidence.
I hope you get out and enjoy some of the same real soon.
Thanks Swash !
That sounds like a nice time you had on Saturday, btw.
Did or Do you think you will go out with your date again ? Or are you not that concerned about it.. and will just go with the flow ?
Tom
I think I'd go out with her again. Don't think I'm looking to jump into anything serious with anyone...but not sure I'd turn it down if the right one came around either.
Sometimes I have it in my head that I have too much baggage to deal with to be with anyone...but other days I feel like I've come pretty darn far so why not.
And yeah...had a blast on Sat night. As I do actually with most of my dates. Sometimes it works out well enough to go out again, sometimes it doesn't...but I always seem to enjoy myself. I just like going out and meeting someone new.
If you can look at it from that perspective...and not worry too much about if they are "it" or not...you'll be in a good place.
Hope that helps.
You are like the million dollar flirt, swashy.
Tommy pants make who ever a nice mojito, and they will be super smitten with you, and........... the beaver...........and the rest of the clan
Even the porcupine ?! Hmm... I am still working on my Mojito recipe.. well... your recipe.. Just cant seem to get it right for some reason.. I am probably trying too hard , I think ?
Swash.. that is a good attitude to have and thanks for sharing it with me btw....
Tom
You are like the million dollar flirt, swashy.
heeeeheeee! Don't you know it girl!?!?
Tom - hope you have fun with it as well buddy.
Hey Gang,
I have come to the conclusion.. this one..
I dont have it in me at the moment to give a piece of me away ? So.. I suppose I can date.. or meet people that sort of thing but I am nowwhere close to being able to have something serious ? I took a serious inventory of my thingys.. and I need to hang on to them for ME ! Does that make any sense to anyone out there ?
I can give pieces parts away to clients and things but they arent expected to return them so that is okay for me.. but a R is not something I can do now at the moment.. I can only listen to Led Zepplin.. That is all.
Tom
Tom
You have given it all some interesting consideration and been very objective. So I would say go with your current thinking, unless you get a surprisingly good hug and change your mind.
I am helping start a singles group at church. I don't know them well, and they only know that I am that guy on the back row who sits alone, shows up at yoga in flame print pants, and started attending the "seniors" class even though they are about twenty years older. The seniors just think I'm bringing energy to the group and making them younger. The rest of the folks look at me and wonder WTF, but they won't say it cuz we're in church of course
The singles group is not to hook up, but to study and worship among folks that aren't all lovey dovey and making you feel 'without'. We are planning some evening activities that will provide fellowship, and simply give some folks a reason to leave the house. Again, I will be about the youngerest of the folks that are in the start up group. But we all heal and grow with social interaction. We need opportunities to reconnect with our own self esteem, maybe helping others in a Habitat project or feeding at a shelter. Maybe applying organizational skills and people tact to get a new group going at church; that many wanted for years but couldn't see how to form. We can contribute. We can get out of life only what we are willing to contribute.
The world is fast filling up with D individuals, widows, and widowers. It will only increase as the boomers begin to bust. New social settings and expectations may be just around the corner, and maybe some surprisingly good hugs. No rush. No guarantees. Let's just call it all a great big adventure.
And when ya aren't lookin, you'll find the surprise of your life. Of course, it will be good to still know where your thingys are when the time comes.
Tom, I have just discovered you have your own thread!
I think your question is a good one. It's a whole new and frightening world out there for us folks who have been married for most of our adult lives. Making yourself vulnerable is really difficult to do, we've all felt pretty stomped on for a long time. But, I think it's good to get involved with things that you enjoy and meet others there, even go for coffee if you're man enough
You're so right about DB, much of it is for us and about us outside of the R. I've discovered that when I'm out there good things do happen, women show interest and it does feel good to be recognized as a man. Now my little Coffee Buddy fiasco (OK, it was a blip) showed me how difficult it is to deal with the vulnerability right now, but I'm at a far different stage of this than you are. So I say, get on out there and do things that you enjoy and the women will follow... in good time!
Hey, nice thread, I like what you've done with the place, it's got that rustic cabin up north feel to it!
but a R is not something I can do now at the moment..
Well it's a good thing, that you don't HAVE to do one, then isn't it.
Tommy pants, I think it is time to take the pressure off of ourselves.
What will be, will be.
Let's just enjoy life, food, friends, wine, shoes and mojitos.
Let's not pressure our selves, with the million dollar questions
Am I ready, am I not ready.
Let's enjoy our new found friendships, and not have any expectations.
Let's laugh, Let's cry, and let's just be.
YOu are great Tommy Pants, you are great today, and you will be great tomorrow.
No pressure, pump up the Led zepplin.
Erm, W2S, hating to be a fashion Nazi and whatnot but....
You're not wearing the flame pants to singles group, right?
I might have to start one at my church, and I can play solitaire on group nights. Hey, can I borrow the flame pants????
Just asking. :-)))
J
Good golly, Lis,
You sound like someone I know! :-)))
J
Rule #1. Ladies just want to have fun.
Rule #2. Don't fix it. Listen and shutup. When it's too heavy or you are being a therapist then refer to rule #1. That's how you make memories.
No pressure, pump up the Led zepplin.
That falls under rule #1
Cyndi Lauper, call your office.
Um, do we HAVE to do our hair like that????
It'll clash with my new skirt. bleh
J
Tom,
Without really knowing your situation I am going to guess that maybe you are not completely over your marriage even though it has ended. I know in my case I started dating fairly quickly after the divorce but have only gotten serious in one of the relationships and now we are living together. We keep getting closer each day and I would have never thought I would be here. I still miss my ex wife and my life that I made with her, I learned alot and hopefully will never repeat the same mistakes again. But what I can tell you is that if this relationship doesn't work out, I will never make the emotional investment again. It is way to much work, and fortunately I have my son my art which I am extremely passionate about. I find that I really enjoy my own company and can handle being by myself. Good luck in the dating pool, its interesting to say the least, lots of great people out there as well as a lot of trainwrecks but you never know until you try.
atom,
I've been in your shoes. I thought I was ready to date. I mean really ready. When the time came, it turns out I wasn't. I had too many thoughts and feelings I hadn't worked through. But here's the kicker, I don't know how to go about it without dating.
I think dating again is something we all need to experience. The thing we really need to prepare for is what to expect. How are our past recent experiences going to affect relationships moving forward. How are the recent experiences of your choose partner going to affect their relationship with you. There is emptional baggage on each side.
I know for myself I really wanted to know all I could about how the person I was dating got to the same point I did. It will really open your eyes when you hear their story. You will quickly be able to decipher if they simply bailed or if they truely put an effort into salvaging the M.
My best advice? Wade in and test the water. Just don't jump in the deep end as a first step.
Steve
Hey there, I was wondering why you have reached that conclusion. Perhaps I missed something along the way. Was there a short term relationship or something that led you there?
Personally I am not in any hurry to have a relationship. I waited a long time after the end of my marriage and then entered into one that was a disaster. While I would like to have one again it's not going to be given up so easily.
I remember a long time ago, and I mean a long time, a boy I liked, a musician, I asked him something quite personal, I forget even what it was. He said that part I'm keeping to myself, it's for me. He wasn't ready for me at least, and neither are you ready to share. It's ok.
Also I do not know what thingys are. Honestly if someone is asking for your car though run far away. Tell us more and rock on. Wonder
I just want to hug Chappy ! I love him.. btw..It would be a brief hug.. I think ? jsyk...
Tommy pants..
Does that make any sense to anyone out there ?
Makes perfect sense Tom. Couple things to remember here. Just because you go on a date with someone - doesn't mean you have to marry them. If you go into with your boundaries set, no expectations, and if you are simply honest...you will be fine buddy. Heck you may even enjoy it.
Now.. Have you serious peeps ever played the game "Toss Across" ?
Tom
No but I watched WWF on TV in a Holiday Inn Express.
Good golly, Lis,
You sound like someone I know! :-)))
Who, who?
Lissie ... nice owl. Now show us your kitty cat purrrrrrr.
Tom ..... I have only seen the Toss Across in pictures. Looked similar to Twister, but easier, no contortion required. So would a combination of the two be Prosthetic Toss Across. Oh, I don't think they use Wesson Oil in Toss Across, so that would also be different from Twister ... or Prost Across.
I think the card game is already out also.
"You got any HANDS?" Nope ... go fish!
or
"Three of a kind beats ..."
Oh wait, you said serious peeps, right?
Never mind
come on AT, of course i have played toss across. I used to love that game because every now and again you would get lucky and your bean bag would hit it just right and flip like two of the squares in one toss..... ahhh the good ole days........
Couple things to remember here. Just because you go on a date with someone - doesn't mean you have to marry them. If you go into with your boundaries set, no expectations, and if you are simply honest...you will be fine buddy. Heck you may even enjoy it.
here here
and isn't toss across like the tic tac toe-ish game only an actually game and not on a piece of paper and you can flipother people's xs or os
Couple things to remember here. Just because you go on a date with someone - doesn't mean you have to marry them. If you go into with your boundaries set, no expectations, and if you are simply honest...you will be fine buddy. Heck you may even enjoy it.
here here
and isn't toss across like the tic tac toe-ish game only an actually game and not on a piece of paper and you can flipother people's xs or os
fig
Have you had that Submit button on your pc checked out lately?
Oh never mind, we enjoy getting figgied
I know
my computer keeps shutting on and off
public school connections blow!!!!
Yes... my landy ! .. In the old TA commercial they had a dog drop one of the bean bags and flip a square too , eh ?
Tom
So... I am selling my Otter on ebay at the moment although he hasnt reached quantum mass.. for some reason.. Hard to say why ? Anyway.. I thought I would use my thread to shamelessly advertise him.. but back to dating...
Are guys expected to pay for dates these days.. or do you come to some agreement ahead of time ? Sort of like a dating prenuptial.. thingy ?
Is it okay to read the newspaper during your lunch date ? Or is that still not a good idea ?
If my dates blond hair extension thingy falls off during lunch.. should I comment or pretend as if nothing happened .. and perhaps attempt to fix it for her without her noticing ?
So many questions here.
Tom
tom-
i think you let it slip that you are meeting the local food critic for lunch and the restaurant will comp the meal--- as for the paper- only read it on the day they have the food section... and be sure to talk about the restaurant reviews. obviously !!!
if your date is wearing a blonde hair extension and she is a brunette- save it for the next date you have with a blonde !! in the meantime, take it home love it and nurture it... it could develop into the best relationship you have had in years !!
good luck w/your dating experiences ...
shg
Jeez.. well thanks for the advice.. I think ?
Where do you come from ? Are you stalking me or something ? You arent my xw are you ? Or someone elses XW.. or current wife in MLC with hair extensions and bad tattoos ?
I think for me. atleast at this point.. I would probably point out the errant hair extension on the floor to the waiter and mention something about the Health Dept and some sort of a light colored rodent.. Maybe a teddy bear hamster ? or atleast a gerbil.. something..
Tom
stalker!!??? no- i am not that caliber of person. and since you mention stalking, i better not tell you where i'm at.
i am xw, but whose i cannot say, and i do have a couple of descreet tatoo extensions... ironically, i did have one fall off in a restaurant. my date was kind enough not to point it out to the waiter and he did lick it for me and reattach it !
You cannot say whose XW ? Someone on the DBB ? Why do you post to me every.. like 8 months ? Is there something I can help you with ?
Tom
Tom
An old TV show with an actor named Stacey Keach was based on the novels of Mickey Spilaine the murder mystery author of the 50s and early 60s.
Anyway everyonce in a while this stunning brunette would pop up and duck into a subway or behind a door and give the main character a sweet seductive smile then disappear. The main character would run, stumble, and do everything he could to find out who she was. Never did. However it gave an interesting twist to the series.
I wonder if shg has highlights. Good mystery.
BTW while writing this post I was replying to her latest to you and that post was deleted. Mystery deepens. Whatever she is doing ride with it cause the way this lady bounces in and out of your threads is a rockin good time.
You think so ? It is really odd.. she just shows up ? I mean 12 posts or so.. all to me looking at her history ? I guess I will just turn up the collar of my coat....Yikes .. Just me..
Tom
Okay so no paper reading.. that rule is still there.. and I dont think I would save the hair extension thingy for some other date.. despite what .. okay. not.
Should guys pay or offer to pay for the date ?
Tom
Tom
I don't know about this person SHG. I think she knows you but instead of trying to find out roll with it. Flirt with her.
If she turns out to be a 47 250lb man then you have plausable deniability. Does not seem like it.
Paying for first dates I always did. Kept it to coffee dates however and short. Better for both.
flirt with her ? hmm.. not sure how to do that at the moment. Plus I dont drink coffee ?.. so.. ? I wonder how Otto is..
Tom
Tom,
Yes, you should pay for the date, and the future dates. Call me old fashion but every date I've been on the guy still pays for them........................especially at the beginning, after that it's alittle different. lol
Went out with a guy 3 times, he paid for every date, then when I didn't sleep with him he never called again, so you might get a different point of view from a guy, but I would never date a guy that didn't pay for our dates
AT, I'm gonna weigh in on the dating thing myself.
There's a lot of opinions from a lot of people, especially around here, about dating. Some see it as unacceptable, until they're ok with it themselves. Some don't care what you do with your own life. Some realize that it's fun and doesn't have to be anything more.
None of those opinions really matters. Just like with making a marriage work, I think dating takes giving of ourselves and figuring out what we have to offer, and are comfortable sharing.
Just my $.02.
Guys still have to pay for the dates ?.. hmm.. Back to the future, eh ? Three dates was probably too early 20 years ago.. so good job there !
Hey Wild Thing !.. Nice to meet you, eh ?
Tom
Tom, what did you used to do on dates dude? Did you pay, did you go dutch? Nothing has changed that much my friend.
What I will say to you however is that dating is on your own shoulders. The reason you are starting to date is what really matters and whether it stays at the level that you want your life to stay at.
Is it simply dating, is it looking for an R, is it something else all together?
What I will say is that yes you will get many varying opinions around here from people who have different levels of standards and opinions on right and wrong. You take them for what they are, opinions and that is it.
Everyone here is responsible for making their own choices and living with the decisions and paths that they walk down. What people on here think should not bother you at all unless you are truly bothered by your own actions. Reality is the only one who can judge you is you so what others say is not of great consequence.
As far as the differences in dating now compared to years ago, I don't believe they are as different as we worry they are. Basics are still basics. Being courteous because that is what you are is the same today as it was back then.
I believe probably the only difference today might be that we look to people who are going to be of the same moral fiber and have the same ethics that we do because of the burn that we took with our spouses. When we were young bucks we may not have been so concerned about these things, but now we understand their value.
Ian
Hmm.. well that is food for thought, Ian. It really is.. but..
I thought that perhaps I would prepare myself to go about it in a little bit of a more lighter fashion ? As a social and maybe even a business thing ?..
I am a hand granade waiting to explode otherwise.. and I think anyone that has been divorced for a short period is.. Just me again. Baby steps apply..
Tom
AT, I think that starting with that mentality is great. I believe you almost have to in order to regain your confidence and comfort a bit don't you?
Hell, do whatever you feel comfy with AT... .
Ian
Hell dude, go with the thing that worked for you here. Meet someone nice and offer her a pretzel...
I dated the DBB ? hmm.. sort of I suppose.. Nice and gentle at first and then.. well ? She can sure dance from what I know ?
Tom
You talked to ty lately????
No I have not talked to Ty lately.. and that must change, yes ? Must see how our friend is, I think ?
Tom
yes, you should..... cl is going through the regret stage like you wouldnt believe, topped off with that special crazy that only she can provide..... He may need a BIG pretzel......
I NEED that for my truck!!!
"Thy foe, who being naughty in thy sight, shall snuff it. Amen"
*snert*
How very very silly. That's why I like you!
J
and F1
check out the rest of the gear!!!
And pass the ammunition!
J
I liked the Black Knight.. except his helmet is the wrong color ? But atleast he has detachables ?
Tom
OK, back to this dating thing! I had a friend years ago who used to get rejected alot (not that you will, AT!) but I asked him how he kept on trying despite getting so many refusals and he said "Well, I figure 9 out of every 10 women will reject me, so every time one says NO I'm happy because that means I'm one closer to that number 10 whose going to say YES" He told me that sometimes he would even ask out women he didn't really want to go out with just so they'd say no and he'd be a step closer to that one who'd say yes , OK that's a bit overboard but it worked for him. Basically, it was all attitude. He took the rejections, reframed them and carried on. So tuck this one away, just in case!
Hey WII !
Thanks for the positive thoughts there buddy ! I am presently dating myself btw.. no ballroom dancing though.. so..
Tom
Tom
Last week at Habitat I ran into a previous work peer. We had lunch yesterday and he told me what he has been up to. He lost his W to illness three years back. Returned to church during illness. Spent year after loss fealing what most of us do, bad ... except she didn't send annoying emails.
After a year of mourning he explored a couple of the web dating sites and had some potentially strong matches, and contacts by the ladies. He attended some wine tasting classes to get out of the house. The liquor stores here don't deliver.
He enjoyed a few safe lunch dates. His renewed interest in his church became a concern for him as he was meeting angels from different faiths. Began dating one gal that was 5yr D after surviving her H's mlc ended 30yrM. My friend broke it off over the differing church lady thing. Some bad dates later he reunited with this gal and they are now M .... happily attending different churches on Sunday.
I'm not yet inclined to catalog my faults into a sorting filter but definately see the advantage of narrowing the search among other like minded searchers seeking a safe lunch date. If you do consider playing that route, you can use me as a reference. I will promise the candidates that you have been well screened here and are harmless ... when Otto is not plying you with drink.
Was2sad,
The liquor stores here don't deliver.
Where do they deliver?
Thanks,
Joe
erm....
733-GINN.
Not that I know or anything. :-))))
J
So you are dating yourself, Tom. Good choice! I say get yourself a nice parking spot and who knows what will happen next! Actually, it's kind of frightening to think about what could happen next.
Btw, forget Ballroom Dance, I'm signed up for Latin Line Dance cuz you don't need a partner...but Tom I'm sure you could bring yourself if you guys are still together in the new year.
Well I guess we will see ?
Eventually the giddiness of the new relationship will wane and the usual things in a relationship will probably arise.. like when I dont put the toilet seat up for myself.. Keeping myself awake snoring... hopefully this new relationship though is that 1 out of 10 ?
Tom
Don't forget the biggie, "why don't you know what I need without me having to tell you". I mean, what happens when you don't know what you need from yourself without being told? That's a R killer, good luck to ya Tom!
A word to the wise, Tom. According to "Dating For Dummies," don't expect sex until after the third date.......well, unless you already know that your date is a floozy.
But Tom's a gentleman, he'd never take advantage of himself like that, even after the third date! What would he say after sex anyway "Wham, bam and thank you my hand!"
That would probably stress the relationship to the breaking point, Wii.. I hope I never hear myself saying that or hearing that... or that.
Qoe,
That will be a topic of discussion I think.. but maybe a few months down the road ? Since we dont want to rush into anything ..so.. not sure about the flooziness yet, A little is okay with me so long as it isnt overdone, I think ?
I just know neither one of us wants to put the other in a compromising position.
Tom
Good grief, now I have a case of the giggles...
*giggle*
J
How many giggles are in a case ? 24 ?
Tom
I think giggles come 36 to the case. Since once you have them, they are difficult to eradicate!
Jeff
Jeeepers, you make giggles sound like fruit flies!
B-A-N-A-N-A-S, bananas!
J
All
Giggles are bottled and marketed 24 or 36 bottles to a case. If opened has a sweet colorful aroma that can draw Drosophila or better know as the common fruit fly.
Champagne also draws fruit flies and uncorked giggles.
Patron on the other hand, repels fruitflies, and on occasion ... clothing.
So..
If I open a bottle of champange on my next date I might attract some fruit flies.. but also giggles..
but.. If I open a bottle of tequila I might not attract fruit flies or giggles but my dates clothes might be repelled ?
hmm..
Tom
Tom
Before you shell out for a bottle of Patron, you should read the disclaimer on the bottle. It does list a number of things they don't guarantee. This may be one. Or may be two. Some fruitflies have been rumored to develop an attraction and that can affect the clothes coming off.
I know someonw who could tell you more about this but I think she is clammering in the kitchen, or not.
I'm sure as an attorney Tom will examine the evidence and present his findings.
I think I like champange better.. just me..
as it often attracts the "Ammocrpta asprella" on occasion..and well.. I like to watch the bubbles, eh ?
Tom
and dont get me wrong.. I have nothing against "Ammorcrypta beani".. the Naked Sand Darter.. but I just prefer the Crystal ?
So.. yes..
Tom
oooopsies! My reputation has preceded me, I see....
The life of a trophy wife is always intense!
Yes, I'm fully clothed. Thanks for asking...
J
How is the Fruit Cake going there, F1 ?
Tom
well.. anyway,.. that was my "Indian Summer" ? so.. moving along, eh ?
Tom
Tom, this dating yourself really peeks my interest. There are many questions that come to mind. When you go out do you meet yourself there? Whose car do you take? How do you decide what to wear to impress yourself? When you go out for dinner, who pays? Which restroom do you use? Do you order two separate meals or do you two eat off the same plate (how romantic!)If you drink too much who drives home?. How do you know if it's OK to kiss yourself goodnight?
Damn, I'm glad I'm not you, there's just too much stress involved in this dating yourself. It takes a real man to date himself, hats off to you AT!
Well, I'm no expert, but I did watch "Sleepless in Seattle" last night. It seems that the solution is to have an eight year old find an attractive lady in Baltimore.
Gotta get S8 working on that before he turns 9.
Thanks,
Joe
True, but Tom seems really committed to this R with himself. He's found his soulmate. This could be the real thing!
Hey, Tom when you two fight do you say things like "get over yourself", "it's not all about you", "You're never there for me emotionally" How's it work? When you get pissed at each other who sleeps in the other room? There's just no end to my curiousity here!
Tom, this dating yourself really peeks my interest. There are many questions that come to mind. When you go out do you meet yourself there? Whose car do you take? How do you decide what to wear to impress yourself? When you go out for dinner, who pays? Which restroom do you use? Do you order two separate meals or do you two eat off the same plate (how romantic!)If you drink too much who drives home?. How do you know if it's OK to kiss yourself goodnight?
Damn, I'm glad I'm not you, there's just too much stress involved in this dating yourself. It takes a real man to date himself, hats off to you AT!
I'm concerned about his eyesight after a few of these dates with himself.......
Well.. since the weather is so wacky "we" decided to stay in today and watch the Browns game.. and share the remote jsyk, wii.
Tom
Wow, sharing the remote, you MUST really love yourself! Btw, GO BROWNS GO!
lol Jilly............I just got it, your to funny.
We share the remote.. the soap in the shower.. shampoo everything.. I do have to stay on my side of the bed though..
CAN YOU GUYS TYPE LARGER ?
Tom
CAN YOU GUYS TYPE LARGER ?
Uh, we already are, Tom.......
AT-
I'm so glad to hear you found someone who can keep the focus on YOU! I just hope you get some decent me time!
Tom
How is Otto handling all this new Tom time?
Holy licks batman.....Tiara boy made a stop on your thread!!!
You're so lucky!!!!!
Otto was up for ebay...jeesh W2S!!!
(or was it a different animal???)
well.. the bids stopped at like $100 for Otto. . I just couldnt do it.. I think.. so anyway... plus he looks sort of cute holding the Bison Summer Sausage, eh ?
So.. tonight we are going to wash each other's hair and play with the Giant Pen aka "GP".
Toms
Uh, so you two are going to play with your Giant Pen tonight. I think you've shared a little too much there, AT. But while I'm here, which hand are you going hold the Pen in?...OMG, get me off this thread right now!!!!
...and Otto is holding a sausage, I think there's a theme here AT.
I just thought I would hug the GP.. and call it George ? huh ?
Tom
Don't let em upset Otto, I thought the pen was most excellent. I was just afraid to find out what it would cost and look wimpy on ebay. Didn't want to look small compared to the pen.
Well.. okay.. thank you. you are so sweet !
Tom
I have been working on my squeeks.. though.. so It is hard to squeek.. but for some it is not, eh ?
Tom
So tonight.. we did the dishes.. and well I must say it worked out well ?
My partner and I have it down I think now.. It took some time though ?
We did go to the dentist today and since we could not decide on the anesthisia. we had none ? But that worked out too ! I am very excited about my new relationship btw.. I think we.. well.. I think we are really liking each other ? Just me though...
Tom
Glad to know.
So, we would like to know what your special other thinks ...
and we need to know if they have a thread here so we can gain from the perspective of the OP
Can there be an OP if.. well there is not a P ?
Tom
Not sure, but after following Lissie around all day, its ok if there is not P.
Ok, I'd like to buy a vowel .... "O" please.
yeah !!!
Ok, is there a "H" please?
I would do a H.. but... um.. maybe it would be vowel if did an AH ?
I dunno.. I m just trying to sell an Otter on Ebay, eh ?
Tom
no bids yet??? Are you sure you described him right or is your reserve too high???
I think his reserve is right... it just appears the Otter Market is slow at the moment, I think ?
Tom
Hey Tom. Dating yourself must be real hard. I guess you know if you like the other P BUT HOW DO YOU KNOW IF THE FEELING IS RECIPRICATED?
Saffie
It has something to do with the left hand knowing what the right hand is doing, like walking and chewing gum sorta, or not I suppose.
I'm sure it still makes it hard to know whether to say Tomato, or Tomato.
Does that mean if Tom is ambidextrous he has a balanced relationship?
Well.. I am still able to touch my nose with both the left and right index fingers at the same time with my eyes closed .. standing on one foot .. reciting the Gettysburg Address backwards in the rain..oh wait.. that was a field sobriety report I read on a client last week.. I dont know ?
Tom
"Four score and seven years ago, our forefathers set forth..."
Golly, I haven't even had anything to drink, and that's all I got off the top of my head.
Early Alzheimer's, I guess.
*sigh*
J
okay.. I will try...
".. our fathers brought forth a proposition to this continent of liberty and that all men are created equal.. " um.. especially when you are dating yourself, eh ?
Tom
I thought you said it was to be said backward.
By the way, what's up, Tom? How's life in the land of escaping BPD?
Hi WT,
Oh.. the BPD is being held at bay for the time being.. especially since I have caller id !
Tom
plus it is time for us to do the dishes.. so.. again.
Tom