Survivor Surviving - DivorceBusting.com

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What better day for me to start a thread here in "Surviving" than today, September 18th, what would've been my eight wedding anniversary day! I think it was the 18th... anyway, though I may not be celebrating it, I'm not commiserating it either.

Nah, I've come to see the ex as someone with major issues, and while being somewhat understanding why people do such things as she did, I also realize it doesn't serve my interests to dwell on all that bad, bad garbage that was strewn. Learn my lessons and move on. Besides, I think that holding onto past grudges or hurts or inequities is tantamount to saying that I'm not good enough to rise from the ashes, and I'll be damned if one little immature gal's problematic misbehaviors is going to keep me down.

Hey, I played a small (speaking!) role in an indie film over the weekend! My first film! They liked me so much that the director called me today to pitch another film to me, more of a lead role. She gave me the whole synopsis, and it sounds romantic and intriguing and a story that will touch the imagination and the heart. I've been offered my choice of one of two roles (there are three stories interwoven throughout the film): a loving husband, in more of a spiritual relationship with his wife, who dies but has left a special gift for her, or a man who was raised by a tribal village, embarks upon the world, but fails, loses himself, and seeks to return to his village to be reminded again of who he is. Hmmm, which part should I pick?

Hi NYS!

Nice to have you in Surviving!

I've come to see the ex as someone with major issues, and while being somewhat understanding why people do such things as she did, I also realize it doesn't serve my interests to dwell on all that bad, bad garbage that was strewn. Learn my lessons and move on. Besides, I think that holding onto past grudges or hurts or inequities is tantamount to saying that I'm not good enough to rise from the ashes, and I'll be damned if one little immature gal's problematic misbehaviors is going to keep me down.

Very nicely put! I'm trying to become a phoenix, myself.

Spitfire

Well damn... since SF didn't claim the drink... I am!! Cosmo babe and keep em coming!!

Congrats on the film!! Speaking role, did that earn you a SAG card? While both sound like very interesting roles, I vote for the second role, dark, mysterious, a bit more Geoffreyish.

I love it... Bad garbage... so that explains the stench that we always smell on them eh? Okay, my bad... I truly do apologize (cough cough!).

Anywho... good to see you and your smiling face here.

It's good to see ya NYS. You always had the attitude of a survivor, so I was glad to see in your update that you are not just surviving, you are thriving!!

Wishing

Welcome to Surviving NYS!

The two lead roles are intriguing - which part is more like you and which is something you'd like to be for a while? Sounds like you'll enjoy it either way but it might be more fun to be something more opposite of yourself!

WCB

I'm leaning toward playing the guy who's on a journey for his soul. It sounds different, romantic, soulful.

That last film was non-SAG. There happened to be a SAG actor there though, helping out as a favor, anxious not to have his name in the credits lest he got in trouble with SAG. You could tell he was an experienced actor: he wore sunglasses, brought his own folding chair, and as soon as he got there he busied himself reading a newspaper and then took a nap until his call. And when anyone spoke to him, he answered by reciting lines from Broadway shows.

Hey there, NYSurvivor,

Welcome! Not glad you're hear but glad you're seeking support.

Ah, so you're an actor. That explains the gift for witty banter!

Sounds like you're doing fine so far.

Gabe

Good to hear from you again!! You helped me so much on my journey and I've kept your advise close to my heart and meditated on it so often.

I'm very glad to hear things are going good for you. Don't forget us common folks here when you become the next Tom Hanks!

Gwyn

I called that director back today and told her I'd like the "soul searcher" role and she said, "You know, that's the role I thought would be great for you".

So, filming begins in February. In the meantime, there's a premiere of this last film in November that she's invited me too, and that sounds like fun. Geez, how often is anyone of us invited to a premiere of a film they're in, ya know? Gotta love it when it happens.

We spoke today. I mentioned how I had written a song similar to the theme of that character ("Una Cancion Que Oi"... you can hear it at www.myspace.com/jackwest1 Let me know what you think of it). That led to a conversation where she asked me if I'd also be interested in scoring the music for her new film.

No, I'm not an actor by trade, nor a composer. Just something that happened while GAL, which just goes to show what can happen.

Love-life wise, still getting knocked around. Purposefully moving forward though, still believing that whoever she is, we'll cross paths someday. True, there are many moments I have of existential angst, but I try to buffer them by realizing truths of my life that beg to differ factually from my imagined fears.

Hey NY. Good to see you again. Just wanted to say Hi. B

Hey NYS...Want to say thanks to you for the many thoughtful posts that you made in the last year. I have to say that I did heed your wise advice (not all the time, I must say...) and am now in Piecing... The thing is that I find that my demons do come and haunt me occassionally, and I have to say it does drive my H a little bit crazy and defensive... So, need to learn to exorcise all the bad bad thoughts from the past and MOVE on...

ANyway, want to say thanks again.

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Love-life wise, still getting knocked around. Purposefully moving forward though, still believing that whoever she is, we'll cross paths someday. True, there are many moments I have of existential angst, but I try to buffer them by realizing truths of my life that beg to differ factually from my imagined fears.

Well put NY!

Quote:

No, I'm not an actor by trade, nor a composer. Just something that happened while GAL, which just goes to show what can happen.

...True, there are many moments I have of existential angst, but I try to buffer them by realizing truths of my life that beg to differ factually from my imagined fears.

NYS,

I'm just back myself. Digging in a little deeper this time. I'll be looking over your previous threads soon. I remember you were one of the ones I looked up to. Congrats at your GAL efforts. I need to be so bold.

I really need to work on that last part. Thanks for the inspiration. Keep shining.

H

Just starting off the day by wishing NYS the happiest of birthday's today!!

Cheers and a drink to you!!

Happy Birthday!!

Oh, thanks! Very traumatic aging a whole year in just one day, you know. After all this practice, I'm still not used to it, though it seems I'm getting faster at it.

Celebrated by going into the east village to attend an art gallery reception for an artist friend of mine that was exhibiting there, then came back home, changed into a makeshift pirate's outfit, and went to a halloween karaoke contest and almost won 2nd prize.

K used the occasion to email me and wanted to know if we could be friends (I guess 'cause I haven't communicated with her since early August). I called her back a couple of days later and had a friendly little chat to catch up and said "I don't think so" and explained to her why I felt her "friendship" was more about feeding her insecurities, her not being able to say goodbye, than any genuine concern for me, and that bothered me. Well, she emailed her thoughts:

Quote:

I've been thinking about what we talked about and you know me, I don't verbalize well, so when I've finally hashed it out in my mind enough to feel like I really understand it, we can have a conversation about it. But yes, I do agree it's always been hard for me to say good-bye. Not to everyone, some people I was happy to get rid of, but to the people who really meant something to me, yes, it's tough. I really don't think it's all that abnormal, to be honest, to miss someone you spent so much time with and cared so much about. If I didn't still care, well, then I just wouldn't care, would I? (How's that for clarity?) Anyway, it's simply about giving a damn.... being sincerely proud of who you are, who you've become, and happy that you've finally unlocked the door to reaching your full potential. I was never able to convince you to do that when we were together, so I'm glad you're doing it now. I'm not looking for anything from you, I guess I'm just looking for the verve and spirit in the person I met so any years ago - he was a really good guy, but he sort of got lost. It's nice to know he was only temporarily misplaced....; ). I'm sorry you feel as though there's nothing for you to get out what is our so-called non friendship, but perhaps I haven't yet grown as much as you have and don't have much that's new to offer. I'm working on it, tho, the anxiety is gone, and I'm going back to being much more social - and for me, that's a good start. Truth is, while we did have our differences in the past, you're right about the bad times fading away - I remember the good stuff and it makes me remember the good you. I guess that's the you I miss....and the you that you seem to be more of now. A cool guy with some cool sh*t going on. Like I used to be. Like I want to be again and am working towards. You can't help me with that, I know, we live in different worlds, but in the broad picture, it's all about the art in our lives and the almighty creative process. And on that level, I feel we can still relate. That's what I always felt brought us together to begin with, and feel now why we could still be friends. We're artists - which probably means we're both crazy, I guess, but it's what also makes us sincere, interesting, and a little more aware and in tune than most people. Hell, it's what makes us tick. Which, in turn, means we all have to stick together, because we're the only ones who understand us all.

NYS,

Thanks for sharing these personal thoughts from your XW. I found it very informative. Hmmmmmmmmmm the mind of a WAS and how it does work!

Hope you are well.

Spitfire