MLC Children - when do they appear in MLC?? - 03/13/10 04:26 PM
Hello all,
I could really do with some help here.
My quick over is - I have a 42 year old husband in MLC - we have been living apart since October 1st 2009. We have been together 18 years and married for 14. There is an OW involved (an ex-girlfriend of 5 years from 25 years ago). We have to children aged 11 and 8.
I believe my husband has been in MLC for at least 18 months - his Mum died when he was 15 and his father remarried within a year and moved on with his life (2 further chidren) - his Mum's death was very badly handled by his whole family.
I believe he is still in Replay and I have witnessed very recent touch and go with friends and his family. He is still angry with me - I am firmly NC unless about our children - last angry outburst was February 14th - he still blames me for his affair and the breakdown of our marriage - his Dad also got an anger outbusrt that day too.
He has spent an awful lot of borrowed money in the last year and I do not really know how he's making ends meet but that's not my problem.
I am having counselling, cracking on with my life and seeking to protect the children from the fallout of this situation.
My question is about "children" I have witnessed my husband becoming - the thing is I have witnessed them for the last 18 months and I would be quite startled by them. One is almost like a teenager - obsessed with porn and masterbation, saying really inappropriate things at inappropriate times etc. Very angry, flouncing out of the house, slamming doors etc. Believes he has the right to do as he pleases.
The other "child" is less beligerant but very demanding - feels like he is younger maybe 11/12 or so as I see some characteristics of my son - is more helpless and needy - maybe more passive/aggressive type character.
I could do with a perspective - I had read that children only emerge during Withdrawal/ Accpetance stages but my husband was still in the early stages of his MLC whne I witnessed these 2. I still see the teenager in occassional paranoid outbursts.
Is this my mind playing tricks on me or is this part of the whole MLC journey?
Any help anyone can offer me would be really apprecaited.
lalxx
I could really do with some help here.
My quick over is - I have a 42 year old husband in MLC - we have been living apart since October 1st 2009. We have been together 18 years and married for 14. There is an OW involved (an ex-girlfriend of 5 years from 25 years ago). We have to children aged 11 and 8.
I believe my husband has been in MLC for at least 18 months - his Mum died when he was 15 and his father remarried within a year and moved on with his life (2 further chidren) - his Mum's death was very badly handled by his whole family.
I believe he is still in Replay and I have witnessed very recent touch and go with friends and his family. He is still angry with me - I am firmly NC unless about our children - last angry outburst was February 14th - he still blames me for his affair and the breakdown of our marriage - his Dad also got an anger outbusrt that day too.
He has spent an awful lot of borrowed money in the last year and I do not really know how he's making ends meet but that's not my problem.
I am having counselling, cracking on with my life and seeking to protect the children from the fallout of this situation.
My question is about "children" I have witnessed my husband becoming - the thing is I have witnessed them for the last 18 months and I would be quite startled by them. One is almost like a teenager - obsessed with porn and masterbation, saying really inappropriate things at inappropriate times etc. Very angry, flouncing out of the house, slamming doors etc. Believes he has the right to do as he pleases.
The other "child" is less beligerant but very demanding - feels like he is younger maybe 11/12 or so as I see some characteristics of my son - is more helpless and needy - maybe more passive/aggressive type character.
I could do with a perspective - I had read that children only emerge during Withdrawal/ Accpetance stages but my husband was still in the early stages of his MLC whne I witnessed these 2. I still see the teenager in occassional paranoid outbursts.
Is this my mind playing tricks on me or is this part of the whole MLC journey?
Any help anyone can offer me would be really apprecaited.
lalxx