Ex hasn't been keeping up with his child/spousal support, so now I have to take him to family court so they will just deduct it from his check each month.
I'm just so tired of this. I just want to get on with my life but he is like this annoying anchor that is always trying to pull me down with him.
I think he is withholding money because he is bothered by the fact I was able to purchase a house. You would think that he would be happy the kids have a roof over their heads, but instead he is jealous.
I wish he would just grow up.
I'm so sorry to hear this. I had hoped he would be "man" enough to pay the support, but being the passive aggressive @ss that he is, I'm not surprised. He's not happy w/life and he actually thinks that you beat him at his own game...got a house all on your own and doing just fine. He wanted to control and manipulate every move you made. Well, it ain't happening...take him to court and have his wages garnished and the money sent directly to your account, i.e., that way you never have to ask him for one red cent and not deal w/his crap.
On another note, how did the holidays go? Where you able to unpack and get a tree up, etc.? Did everyone have a nice holiday? Are you back in school? Are you okay?
Hi Miss H
Look at you girl! All business. I love it.
I'm sorry your x is such a jerk and you are probably spot on that he's annoyed you've been able to rise from the ashes like a pheonix ... well of course you have ... he's the only one who's surprised!
He has an obligation to support his children - and you have an obligation to hold him to it. I know it's probably been a tough decision to got the formal legal route, but you are absolutely right to. Don't for one minute buy into his poor-me attitude.
Hope you had a gorgeous holiday period and your not too cold.
I was just talking to my mum who is holidaying at my sister's in Washington DC and she said it's so cold there she can barely stand the thought of going anywhere (and we were only talking about her going to pick my nephew up from school - not a trip to the beach!) ... hard to imagine when it was 115 degrees in my part of the world yesterday.
let us know how you go. I think of you often.
Cheers, V
Amen Snodderly!
MissH, I think your right that your H is upset and you are doing well without him! What an A@@!! You go girl!!!
Y
Hi Snodderly,
He had asked me with a jealous tone how I was able to get a mortgage when he needed his gf to get a mortgage. He tells me I am bitter, but he is the only one who shows bitterness.
The holidays were nice, but he got the kids on Christmas afternoon and then had them for 9 days. I hate not seeing my kids for that long. My sister and her family came up during the holiidays though, and they kept me company.
Unpacking....well that is still a work in progress, lol. However, this was the first year I brought a fake tree, so that went up right away!
I will be back in school on Monday. I felt like my month break flew by!
I'm doing ok, thanks for asking. I joined a gym as I would like to take off a lot of weight. Plus I always feel sluggish so I am hoping exercise will make me feel better.
Thanks for asking about me, How was your holidays?
Hi Virginia,
Don't worry, I don't buy into his poor me attitude. He's done this to himself.
As for the weather, it's been pretty cold here in NY, although today is not so bad. 115 degrees??? Now that is hot!
Hope you had a wonderful holiday too!
Hi Yellow! How are ya? Yeah, ex is a miserable man. He will wallow in self misery the rest of his life. BUT, that is his problem, not mine.
I can never imagine nor do I ever want him in my life again.
He's the bitter one and you know what? I wouldn't let it bother me.
I'm glad you had company over the holidays, but sorry the boys weren't w/you.
Yes, it's been pretty cold here and Washington, DC hasn't fared any better...cold, cold, cold, but a heat wave is coming this week....48 on Thursday!
The holidays for me were very quiet, but nice. Enjoy spending time w/family and friends, but I also liked my "me" time too.
Please take care of yourself!
MissH
Why don't the recent events surprise us?
So your X went out and tried on some big boy pants. Good for him. Too bad he had to roll the legs up so far and wrap the belt around twice to hold them up. What a total TOOL.
Like others have said - Look how great you are handling everything without the person you just knew you couldn't live without. Yes, your house, your home, your life all working out so well - and he can't find any other way to act out over his pityful life than to try dragging the welfare of the kids in and witholding his obligations. What a total TOOL.
Do what you know you have to do in the courts. See if they can make him cover some of the filing costs while they're at it. In my state if they don't pay and you push hard enough, they get picked up and have to cover the debt to get out of lock up. If he ain't happy now, see how he feels missing payday and showering with Bubba. He knows these things. He has heard others tell their sad story. He is just pushing the limits because he believes he is above doing the right thing and responsible to no one - certainly not you.
It's all up to him and NOT your fault; unless you let him. You let him step on you with his left foot, he's going to want to use both feet as fast as he can. Boundaries!
Enjoy school, enjoy the house, enjoy the kids and living your Better Life.
I am doing fine! I am just amazed how far you have come! I don't blame you for never wanting him you life again. He's lost his marbles and is miserable. Oh well, you now what they say, misery loves company,,,,I guess thats why the ow is with him!! LOL
Y
Hey, Miss H! I just saw this thread and had to respond. I am so sorry that you are still having to deal with so much cr@p from your ex! I, too, hope that one day he will grow up.
But, I have to tell ya....like the others, I am SO PROUD of you!! You have truly come a long way! Congrats on the new house, continuing w/ your education, and joining the gym!! I truly wish the very best for you!
Continue being the wonderful mom and woman that you are! And, enjoy your many blessings...there's more to come!!
Deb
Thanks Snodderly.
Was, how are you?!
Nope, nothing can surprise anybody when it comes to my ex. Funny that you called him a tool, I remember him calling other guys that behaved exactly how he is behaving these last few years.
It's just really pathetic that he doesn't mind seeing me suffering even at the expense of his own kids.
I did find out that if he is found guilty of not living up to his end of the divorce papers he is required to pay my legal fees that I acquire. Although this is what the law states, I am a little weary of that since I know from experience the judges seem to make up their own laws as they go along.
I am planning on taking him to family court. I did pick up the papers they said I needed to fill out, but they made no sense to me. So I stopped at family court and then they told me they I was given the wrong papers. UGH! So then they gave me the right papers and I will have to file them this coming week.
Thanks Yellow and Deb!
Wednesday ex dropped kids off late again. Then he proceeded to give S6 a hug, and a hug, and a hug, and a hug,.... outside on the driveway because S6's balloon popped. This went on for 5 minutes until I finally called out for s6 to come inside out of the cold. Ex of course got all nasty and ignored me. So another 5 minutes I called again. Finally S6 came in and ex said at the door, "you know, he needs his father". I said to him "what he could use is a father that pays child support" and then ex said "Oh yeah? Well Bob fired me". Bob is his uncle he works for. This is the 3rd time he has told me this in the last couple of years. I told him he was full of sh!t and he said "Oh yeah? How much you want to bet?" I shut the door on his face because I knew he was full of it.
Yesterday at the bus stop he came to pick the kids up for the weekend. I was there too. My old neighbor asked him how work was and he said "It's ok". I gave him a look and bit my lip. I so wanted to say, "Oh, I thought you were fired?" He is such a chronic liar it is not even funny.
Let him try to tell the state he was fired. I heard they are a great bunch of people to deal with. Hahaha!
Hey OldPilot, you are not too far from me! I'm in Orange County.
Nope, my business is in Peekskill. Are you on the alt?
My D23 works at the Newburgh target.
That's so funny! I was there last night and live only about 5-10 minutes from there. Not sure how to find you on FB. My name is different on there and we are not allowed to give out much info on here.
Well I am friends with Mach1,Jack3Beans,Trapt,Grace,Givingitmyall,IRMAC,AYK,Mindful
Maybe you can figure it out from that. Like a puzzle.
I'll look. I am friends with Jack too. The last name I am using is Hurting, which was my old name on here. Not my real name, lol
Hey op and H, look for me too. Find me on trapt,Mach,jack,Beginner... MC.
Miss H,
My exH is also a cronic/complusive liar. We fought about it all the years of our M. He would even lie about trivial [censored] like what he had for lunch or where he got a pair of pants. Takes away all trust whatsoever.
Hey SoCo, I couldn't find you. I am friends with Jack and my last name on there is Hurting, as I used to go by Mrshurting.
Sorry your ex is a liar, I remember the lies hurting more than the affair itself. My ex didn't start lying until the aliens snatched him up, lol.
Hi All.
My father was admitted into the hospital today. He has been not feeling well all week. They are running tests as they are not sure what is wrong with him.
Could you do me a favor and pray for him? I would greatly appreciate it.
Will do. My prayers are with you and your father.
Praying for your father that he is healed of whatever is bothering him.
As we pray for his health, and for serenity in your life as well, let us know how he is.
Thank you all! I greatly appreciate it!
My father is home from the hospital but not feeling any better. They did give him iv fluids that helped a bit as he was severely dehydrated.
Apparently he has head a bad headache on the side of his head for a week now.
He is dizzy and still throwing up.
All of the tests have come back negative so far. They found nothing on the cat scans of his head and abdomen.
He is supposed to go for an MRI but the doctor who he had to call to get a prescription from didn't call back until recently. They gave him an appointment for Monday afternoon.
My mother is a retired nurse and she, like the rest of us, think waiting over the weekend is too long. So she is going to see what she can do.
It sucks to watch your parents get old.
Amen to that, does he live near you? I am about to go visit my dad(84) who I think has parkinsons disease.
If he is close go give him a hug.
I'm sorry to hear that your father is not feeling well. He needs an appointment as soon as possible. I do hope that your mother can work "magic" and get him in sooner.
I'm keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.
MsH you have my prayers for your Dad. Im a little concerned they sent him home when he is still so sick. Hopefully your mom yank some chains!
I hope your Dad is doing better. Could it be something with his ears? My Dad had gotten really dizzy while driving, went to the dr's and ended up getting sick. They put him in the hospital for dehydration and it turns out he had a problem with his ears! Just a thought.
Your family is in my prayers.
kat
Hi all.
My father is doing somewhat better, but not much. He has his up days and his down days. Thank you for your prayers.
They did find some kind of mass on his brain that showed up on a catscan but the doctors don't think it's a tumor. However, to be sure he was sent for an MRI. He was supposed to get an open one as he is claustophobic but apparently the open one isn't so open either. So they recommended him to get an MRI done that you sit up and the machine just goes over your head. He is supposed to get that done tomorrow.
As for ex, he is now 2 months behind on support payments. I have filed a motion in family court and just have to wait to hear for a court dates. Should be sometime within the next week or so.
Everytime I bring it up he tries to avoid my question to where my checks are. Like today, I sent him a TM saying: We are now into Febuary and still no checks. He wrote back, "Well maybe you shouldn't of spent your money on a house in Richville (sarcastic), got a brand new car, and brought an artificial xmas tree". I wrote back saying I didn't lose anything and he was just jealous. He finally wrote back and said "Don't bother me at work". I then wrote back and said "Oh, I thought you were fired?". He wrote back, "I had a meeting with Bob". He is so full of sh!t. I will save the text messages for court. It shows that he is willingly not paying the checks.
It just disgusts me that he is so selfish that he doesn't realize that his own children will be the ones hurt the most because of him not giving me money. I can't even throw the boys birthday parties because of him. He is definetly jealous because everytime I bring up the support checks he starts saying something about my house. Meanwhile, I don't live in Richville, he does. He also lives in a bigger house, on a bigger piece of property, in an expensive neighborhood. The only difference is, he had to get a house with the ow to get a mortgage.
He disgusts me, how about you? LOL
Par for the course with that arse.
Praying for your dad.
Yep. They are scummy to not want to support their kids. My ex also lies about work, where he works, etc. etc. Every time I bring it up he says stuff like yours does. One of his favorite lines is maybe my (bf) will support the kids. I then tell him that he made the kids, he will support them. Par for the course behavior of men who won't stand up and be men.
Despite what they have, they still want more and they certainly don't want you to have anything. Jealousy is a big theme in the MLC scenario. My ex use to want me to succeed and have everything wonderful in life. Now he hopes I fail, lose the house, have bad relationships, etc... So hard to deal with..
Yes, they want everyone to be as miserable as they are. And when we defy them by living a happy life despite their antics, they are jealous and angry.
I am sorry to see that your father isn't 100% yet. I do hope that they can find out what is wrong with him. This is starting to concern me.
As for your xh, he is very jealous and resentful of you. Why? Because you took a bad situation and turned it around to make your life more successful He doesn't like the fact that you are able to move on and have accomplished what you've done w/o the help of another person, i.e., like he has had to do with the ow.
Take him to court and let them garnish his wages. Have them set it up whereby your funds are automatically taken from his checks and put into your account. That is the only way to get around his crap. BTW, he doesn't care about anyone but himself.
I could just wring his neck.
MissH
The best revenge is to live the better life.
And as you see, that really does p!ss them off. He lost his control over you. He doesn't have that satisfaction he expected or the joy it was going to bring him.
Bigger isn't always better. You'll make happiness wherever you are. He won't be happy in any home. They come with strings attached, and pressures he wanted to abandon.
He won't be happy in any car. He just won't be happy. He left saying you made him unhappy; they all do. He thinks you're still keeping him from his happiness. What's holding him back? They just continue this downward spiral, trying to fly through their storm. Let the courts set boundaries while you watch from a safe distance. Skip through the commercials!
Take care and love yourself, your kids, and your dad. List the many blessings you have, instead of the problems. Your blessing will grow, your problems will fade, and your X will always be an @ss.
Your blessing will grow, your problems will fade, and your X will always be an @ss.
Miss H you should make that your tag line ... what a wise and clever man our Was is.
no sireee.....i did not give him that upgrade for nuthin'! 
Ex came to pick up the boys tonight as they have a 4 day weekend and it is his weekend.
He was really nice to me.
Too bad he is about to get served tomorrow for not keeping up with his support payments.
The sh!t is about to hit the fan. I better duck.
MissH
He deserves everything he is going to get!!! Let the poopoo hit him HARD!!!! I would love to be a fly on the wall when he gets served!!! lol
Y
I'm with yellowrose!!
Well, he's going to have to face the consequences of his actions. I don't feel sorry for him one bit. I hope they garnish his wages to ensure that you get what you need to take care of things for you and your sons. He's such an @ss.
How is your father? How are you making out w/the snow?
I can tell you are snow was not as bad as yours. We only got 6 inches maybe. I live very close to Miss H.
Yes, we got more than we bargained for with this winter season. We are now going to have snow showers tonight and tomorrow morning with additional snow on Monday into Tuesday. I don't know about others, but I'm just about sick of winter this year.
I do hope that you and Ms. H can catch up with each other. She's a wonderful lady.
We shall see, it turns out my D23 coaches a swim team that is across the street from her house at the high school pool.
MissH! sorry to hear he is being an arse... again
He is a deadbeat dad and he'll get what's coming to him, hope he pays up soon!
Sorry to hear about your dad, I pray he gets the right medical treatment)))
I do hope that you and Ms. H can catch up with each other. She's a wonderful lady.
Wow Snodderly! What a nice thing to say, thanks!
As for the snow, most of ours is melted already.
You are all going to laugh when you read what I have to share with you.
My brothers friend, CJ, who serves court papers, went to serve ex his papers.
First he showed up at his and ow's house. He asked for ex and told ow what he was there for and she said that ex wasn't home. CJ said "Well his car is in the driveway". She says "Well I have his car today and he has mine." So CJ says to her "Ok, well what kind of car do you have?" and ow responds, "I don't know, I forgot". LOL CJ then asks when he will be back and she says she doesn't know. Said she was trying to play dumb and was being an ass. So he went to his work instead.
He goes in the office building and sees his Uncle who he works for. He tells Uncle who he is and that he is there to serve ex papers because he is not keeping up with his support responsibilites. Uncle tells him "Well that doesn't surprise me about him. I just try to stay out of it". Uncle also tells him that he just missed ex as he left to go home for the day.
So CJ goes back to their house and now sees ow's car plus his cars. So he knocks on the door and this time a guy answers the door. He claims he is ow's brother and he doesn't know where ex is.
CJ hears my kids in the house and tells him and ow, "look, I know he is in the house. Tell him to come out and be a man for once and take the papers." They again tell him he is not there. CJ tells them "Look, this is EXACTLY why I am here because he is dodging his responsibilites like he is now. If I go away today I am just going to come back here or at his office until I see him and give him his papers. So he might as well take them now". Again, they played dumb.
So CJ is going to try again tomorrow. He said by law that if you attempt to serve someone 3 times and they refuse to be served then you are allowed to tape the papers to the front door and be considered served. So he is probably going to do that tomorrow if he tries to avoid him again.
And if ex doesn't show up to court on March 4 then a warrant will be out for his arrest.
He's such a dumb-arse and a wuss.
Well, why am I not surprised at him dodging CJ? What an @ss! Too bad the kids didn't call your h by "dad" and then he could have been served. He really doesn't understand what the consequences are of what he's doing. It's not pretty once a warrant is issued for your arrest. As for his uncle, he's smart by staying out of it, but he knows what is going on. I do hope and pray that this issue of support is resolved once and for all.
I hope that you are taking care of yourself.
Thanks Cat!
Snodderly, an @ss he is. I hope he does show up to court on the 4th of March just so we can get this over with. As it is, I will be missing classes that day to go, I don't need to miss another day to show back up to court. He is wasting my time.
I can't believe he was that much of a wuss. You would think CJ was there with an arrest warrant for goodness sake! He can't run away from his responsibilities forever.
I think it's funny that his uncle now knows what's going on. And he doesn't seem to be surprised by it.
Well heading down to visit my parents for overnight. My dad's sister is down from Mass. visiting them so I would like to be able to go see her since it's been a while.
Hope everyone has a nice day!
Just an update...
Ex has been served. It was done at work. CJ, the server, walked into his work and his uncle (also boss) recognized him right away and said "He's right in the back." The back meaning the kitchen. CJ asked "You don't mind me walking back there?" and uncle said, "nope, not at all. Go right ahead". I think his uncle knows what an arse ex is and deserves what he gets.
Ex didn't say anything to me later that night when he drove the boys home. But he did TM me later saying, "I got papers today. Did you really not get those payments?" I wrote back, "Stop playing games. You know damn well I didn't get them. I have been telling you for over 2 months. You left me no choice". I haven't heard from him since.
Also, an update on my dad. Turns out his bad headache, nausea, and dizziness were all from his blood pressure medication. As soon as he stopped taking it, he felt better.
However, the marking on his brain that showed up on the catscan and MRI was from an old stroke he never knew he had. It was on a part of his brain that would not affect the body so he had no symptoms.
He is supposed to be on oxygen too but he is so damn stubborn he doesn't want to take it. My mother is tired of fighting him over it.
You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink it.
I'm glad your xh was finally served. Now, let's see just how long it takes the money to start coming back in. What a piece of work.
It sounds like your father may have had a mini stroke at some point in time. I'm glad he's found out what was causing him to be so ill. Did they change his medication or the doseage?
Your father sounds so much like mine was....stubborn all of the way around.
I hope you have a good weekend.