Hi,
I hope that this is not irrelevant here, but whenever I come across it, I am reminded to adjust my
'perspective'.
I started an online course earlier this year. It was
Buddhism and Modern Psychology. However, not long after, H dropped the bomb. I did not realize what I was dealing with as his 'unscheduled anger' & erratic emotions were hurled at me. I felt that I had failed at my M because
he blamed me for all that was wrong. Panic, sadness & frequent crying followed as you can relate (which I hid). I withdrew from the course as I could no longer concentrate or do my assignments on time.
Anyway, I found the following thought interesting & would like to share. It was from a thread >
What is Happiness? There was a discussion on
suffering (which Buddhism appears to be 'obsessed' with for some
).
2 examples of suffering (1 for me, the other for H).
Response 1 - Me/LBS (Post that I could relate to 'somehow') The feeling is that we can use 'mind' to allievate suffering.
Pain is from body but suffering is ALL mind. When it was suggested that we do not have to suffer, I questioned about victims of rape & war.
The reply >> that it is
the act of holding on to the angst, stress & anger that arose at the time of the crime that created the suffering. HOLDING ON creates the suffering - but we hold on to fear/emotions without realizing it. The poster went on to comment on that
emotions are impermanent & can be replaced with happiness at will. Remember the crime has passed - but the act of holding on is continuously present as we cycle the hurt. The pain in the body is a separate component - the 'pain of the mind'
suffering, is controllable at will <<<
Although this post is about MLC and not about crime, the response is similar I think. We hold on to the
emotions experienced by the 'bomb-crime' & as LBS, we
suffer. I see the relevance of
detaching here (another Buddhist approach btw), letting go, GAL ... vs
suffering, the act of holding on to those emotions associated with the MLCer, their 'bomb-crime' & overall MLC behaviour.
Response 2 - H (Post I associate w/ H)On a related note, another thread mentioned we also '
suffer' when
our expectations/goals are not met (This one was big, because H had BIG, BI G, B I G (!!) goals that
ALL failed - this was in addition to employment issues & milestone birthday). H believes that I am the reason that he is
'suffering' such a plague in his life - however, as people we set ourselves up - &
suffer.
At
will we don't have to, because
suffering is all in the mind.
Why should I include this here? - because
I learn from it, its my
nts.
It's a reminder that I can be HAPPY AT WILL. We all can. DETACH & move on (not easy !!! but possible)
take care, p.