Hi Toenail
just wanted to check in with you and say hello. I have a similar situation - in that my H moved out two months ago and since then has pretty much refused any and all contact with our teenager. There's a younger child he sees regularly. It is damaging the relationship between the two children, and though he seems to be making warm overtures towards me and talks about a possible R at some point in the future, I don't see any way I can get closer to him until and unless he makes some serious efforts with the older one. I get the sense he feels he is withdrawing contact and affection in order to teach a lesson - to make sure that the elder one knows that he only gets contact when he behaves right - and I find that attitude so disgusting I can barely look at H sometimes.
Anyway - our situations are a bit different and I am new here but if you had time to give me some suggestions on my thread about how to deal with the two separate issues (possible R and relationship between H and eldest) then I would be grateful.
You sound like you have a lot on your plate. I hope you're well. Cruise sounds good!
Hi Alison,
I am sorry you are going through this and your kids as well. Hope you guys are doing well
I am in no expert in this kind of situation but i am willing to throw in my $0.02. first and foremost i would really advise to take the kids and see a T / IC, especially the teenager. when my WW started her BD, that is one of the first things i did for D14. teens today are full of angst and anger. you can keep on asking them if they’re ok and they just keep on saying yes, but they’re really not alright. D, not only takes a toll on LBS, but it also gives a heavy burden with kids.
with regards to my D14’s IC, she was able to express her anger towards WW, even though WW still fights her and just wont validate her statements, the IC works towards your kids in expressing and at the same time teaches them to control their anger. although the R between my D14 and WW has been healed, i can perfectly say that D14 has handled this debacle much stronger and better than i expected.
With regards to your WH you can ask him to go with your teenager and both of them sit down with the IC and figure the R between them out. you can ask WH but you cannot force him. Right now, he is still in limbo and he needs to find out what he wants from all this. Leave him be. You and your kids need to have tour own life. GAL with them.
As for you, as anybody here would tell you,GAL is really important. you have to have a healthy body, mind and spirit to go trough this. tour kids need you more than ever. never be alone by yourself, unless its bedtime, meet and talk to
people. You are the better person in this equation and you need to stay that way.
Good luck!