Hanukkah is here. Christmas activities are in full swing. How are you coping? What is your plan for getting through?
I am going back to recovery basics until the new year. Get out of bed, make myself look decent, go to work, eat healthy, get exercise. Try not to be super crabby.
I have decorated my house a little. Didn't go all out but put out some of my most special decorations. I have been a collector of all things Christmas for years so I have a lot to choose from.
I am have a Christmas tea party next week and doing a couple of other things. I not really into it but for me it's better than ignoring the holiday.
I am dreading Christmas morning most of all. I always only H and me opening our gifts and lounging around. This year I'm going to my mom's but no gifts to open. My mom is paying for a trip for my sisters and me as our gift.
It is a bit sad but for me, I am dealing with it by basically pretending it is not here. No decorating for me this year. Who knows what she picked through in terms of xmas decorations and ornaments when she left. I am just ready for the new year. Bring it!
Becky, I feel bad for commenting on this post, as I am in a much different position than most people on this board in that my H is still technically here. In body at least. Last year was the best Christmas I had in a long time. Sad to say, I sent my daughter away to my parents for the week, so it was just me and H and the boys and we had such a peaceful day, H completely spoiled me over the top with gifts and we had a lot of "cuddling" quiet time, it was so nice.
This year he is still here but leaving for a 6 month job a week after Christmas. And he barely speaks to me. So I don't know how to deal. How can things change so radically in one year? It has also been crossing my mind that maybe last year he was already in his affair and that was why he was so nice to my at Christmas. He claims it started in January.
I usually send out photo christmas cards, but I just don't have it in me right now. I am decorating today with my boys. We usually watch the movie Elf several times in December and bake a lot of cookies. I have a new church this year so their festivities start today, I will be curious to see how they celebrate, if they do anything special or different.
Last night we had H's office holiday party. I went, I looked great (for me) , made friends with everyone, mingled and acted like an extrovert and barely spoke a word to H the entire time. It was actually fun, but sad at the same time. Came home and H stayed up late on his laptop, I went to bed and barely slept, had chest pains on and off all night, I am sure from anxiety.
I am so sad. My parents and sister and her kids will be here the day after Christmas, so that will help. I wish I was more detached from H. Trying to focus on the kids.
I know he bought me a present, but I have no idea what it could be. H also did all the christmas shopping for S9 - that is a first- don't think he has ever bought a christmas present for any of the kids, he had some great ideas and just went ahead and bought his several things. I thanked him and told him how much I appreciated his involvement, trying to focus on the positive.
Pho it sounds like you are trying to make the best of things. I'll bet the time your H is away will be very clarifying one way or the other.
On a holiday note I did some baking this weekend with my mom, sister and niece. Used very old family recipes and tried some new ones, with mixed success.
Next week is our December supper club and a Christmas Tea party. I'm making scones. Any tips from the UK crowd?
In between I get to spend a couple of days in sunny Southern California.
Becky, I don't have any UK tips but my S9 said the funniest thing that I'd like to share with our UK friends. He asked "Mom, what does luxury mean?" So I said "Very fancy and special." S9 "Like having lunch in England?" I love this kid, he makes me laugh every single day. I never had any luck with scones, they always fall apart on me so I'd like some tips too!
I baked today too- my famous pumpkin bread and several quiches (not for holidays, to slice and freeze for future meals.) Tomorrow I am making a cranberry/almond/white chocolate cookie that is my own creation and is my all time favorite. Italian lemon cookies and chocolate chip cookies the following week. And biscotti! We like to eat home made cookies while watching the movie Elf repeatedly. I think I will need wine this year to get through it.
Sunny California sounds nice! For work?
I made biscotti for the first time today. I turned out very well. Italian lemon cookies sound great. Could you share the recipe?
And yes, for work. Right now getting out of town is a blessing.
Becky, here is the recipe for the lemon cookies:
Ingredients
COOKIE
1/2 cup sugar
1/4 cup vegetable shortening
3 large eggs
1 1/2 teaspoons lemon extract
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/8 teaspoon salt
FROSTING
3 cups confectioners' sugar
1/4 cup water
1 teaspoon lemon extract
Directions
Preheat oven to 350°F.
For cookies, cream together sugar and shortening.
Add eggs and lemon extract and beat well.
Add flour, baking powder and salt; Mix well.
The dough should be soft and sticky.
With a small cookie scoop, drop dough onto a slightly greased cookie sheet or baking stone, spacing them about 2-inches apart.
Bake for about 12-15 minutes, or until firm and lightly brown.
Remove cookies from cookie sheet and allow to cool completely on wire racks.
For frosting, combine confectioners' sugar, water and lemon extract and mix until smooth.
Frost the tops of each cookie with a metal spatula.
After I put the frosting on (really more of a glaze) I dip the cookie glaze side down in a bowl of sprinkles. I use the little round ones, I think they are called parieles. They are so colorful cute.
I hope you like them! I think they come out best if you make them really small.
Last night was my company party and prior I kept thinking what she may have been doing chatting with this other guy. So I went through the strides and as we were driving a bunch of our friends were going to thus new place so we blew it off selfishey so I didn't have to deal with it and clear my mind. It was a great night I drank too much but still a good night. We missed counseling cause I was putting flooring is my son's room. Any was I'm a Christmas addict but I'm dead inside nomatter what . I hate this. But I'm working on improving me and getting better. She did decorations. I'm like I cant... I hope she understands. This [censored] big time
I should say I only trained 1 day this weekend, I'm feeling beat up from training so hard. Jiu Jitsu is my life and my kids too. That's my priority. Improving
I think it's good that you did something you enjoyed.
I don't think you should use WW as an excuse to not do what you love. It you do nothing and tell yourself over and over again that you cant', that you are dead inside that is what you will become. Instead I think you should make an effort. Do something Christmasy. Fake it until you make it.
KTFO, I'm going to challenge you a bit. It your entire life is Jiu Jitsu maybe you should expand your definition of improving. What else are you doing?
No it's no my entire life, my family is always #1.. but it is the place I feel normal. Even before this. It's my place of serenity and peace.. now even more than before, it takes my mind off of IT and I concentrate on the Human Chess match at hand. It's a filter, I leave feeling amazing!
I am in the process, I'm doing the improve what I don't like about my self step right now. I'm working on me, physically and mentally. Because I want to be ME again..
This weekend, I worked on my sons bedroom all weekend putting in laminate flooring and it was awesome to get that done and it looks amazing!
I do have the ups and downs that comes with this.. I don't enjoy it, but I keep building myself back up the best i can.
I'm looking for the Cheer that I always have, trust me for ME and my kids..
I get it. I love my Pilates class because I can completely focus on something physical for a while.
There is a saying "Jiu Jitsu Saved My Life" and it couldn't be anymore true than in this situation. A day like today where I'm down and just feeling like i'm getting dragged along the reef of the ocean I know I'm going to go train tonight and I'll feel better.
Here's my biggest problem, my father-in-law is coming from out of state and he stays at my house for like 5+ weeks.. starting next week, and man I'm dreading it... big time!
These sound great for a tea party. I'm going to make them if H doesn't drive me out of the house again.
Update on holiday activities. Our supper club had a nice party on Saturday night. I wish we could post pictures of us in our fun Christmas hats and headbands.
My tea party on Sunday was a great success. My BFF's mom, who mostly recently saw me right after BD, said I looked good and looked happy.
I am definitely feeling very sad. I won't have any gifts on Christmas morning. No H or step kids to buy for. I need to get something for niece and nephews but I'm just not in the mood.
I'm spending a few days with my mom and she is trying to figure out a way to make Christmas day nice for us but I'm just not into it.
I'm trying to hold on until the 27th when my sisters and I leave for 5 nights in Nashville! Music, dancing, drinking, eating, shopping, laughing. Unfortunately that is also the week my L is sending my proposal to H's L. Hopefully I will be having too much fun to think about it.
Becky, glad you are getting out and having fun and that people notice you are doing well.
I say buy yourself a nice couple of gifts and wrap them to open on Christmas Day and maybe find a family in need that you can buy a gifts for.
Hi BT. I haven't heard from you in a while. How are things.
I buy myself presents all the time.
I miss buying for others.
Pho,
I too simply adore the movie Elf. And wine. And all of your cookies sound scrumptious.
If I bring the wine can I come eat your cookies and watch Elf a hundred times too?
Pho? Would you be a love and share your recipe for your Cranberry/Almond/White Choc cookie creation?
I've copied the Lemon already. I think I'll start some baking. I've been so far in the dumps, I need to do something kind of fun.
Baking. I'll bake.
Help keep me on track. Seeing Christmas all around is making me very nostalgic and emotional...and making me want to contact H. Knowing the OW has not moved in and is probably several states away is making it worse. Contact is a bad idea.
I am increasing my personal interaction a little but I have to be very cautious. This past weekend was on the verge of too much personal so I need to stick to NC for a little while.
I also need to remind myself of the true picture of H and our issues. He has significant issues that he not dealing with so why do I want to talk to him anyway?
Judy, I baked up a storm this weekend to keep myself busy while H was at the house. Now I have to stare down cookies every night. I can't even give them all away.
Have fun but be cautious
I admit that I haven't stopped WANTING to contact H for one single day since BD, but I have had no contact for an entire 4 weeks now. HARDEST THING EVER! It does seem to get harder the closer Christmas gets. I am trying so hard to stay strong and stay course though.
My H also has significant issues to deal with and only seems to want to avoid them by throwing me away and moving on with an OW. He has never tried to fix anything about himself though so why start now?!
Hugs to you Becky, I hope you're having a great day!
Pho? Would you be a love and share your recipe for your Cranberry/Almond/White Choc cookie creation?
I've copied the Lemon already. I think I'll start some baking. I've been so far in the dumps, I need to do something kind of fun.
Baking. I'll bake.
Ancaire, I didn't write down the recipe and when I tried to recreate it something was off. I am going to try again this weekend and if I get I will write it down and give it to you.
Best thing about them is they are calorie free! LOL. Good thing I am taking up running soon.
Last minute touches for Christmas:
Going grocery shopping in a few minutes, hoping 6am is less busy. Baking cookies, cleaning bathrooms, running vacuum one last time.
I'm so excited to see the kids! Presents all wrapped, decorations up. Now, to not cry.
Ancaire, your day sounds just like mine. Running to store now, cleaning bathrooms, baking cookies. Going to church too. And talking to a friend about a job!
Have a great day, love to all of you!
I hope everyone has a great day! It's gonna be tough, but we can do it!
Thanks, Fo and D! I know we can do it. Grocery shopping at 6 am was a dream today, other than the shelves being cleaned out! LOL
I was in and out, with a full cart, in 30 minutes. When does that ever happen? A great start to the last major workday before Christmas. Of course, my work will be here at home - but it is work!
Now to clean the bathrooms...yeah, me!
Merry Christmas, guys! I hope we all have a great one.