Love, Pain and the Whole Crazy Thing Part 2 - 01/08/08 12:02 PM
[quote=pregnant&dbing How are things?]
Howdy ya'll...not sure if having a string get locked qualifies me as a seasoned veteran but here goes part 2 of the saga.
Ok..quick update: I am deployed to Afghanistan and received the ILYBNILWY chain of events last month. I believe she is having an EM with an OM she met on AOL in October.
I am very hurt, confused, sad and suffer bouts of depression as I try to struggle through what went wrong and if it is possible to retain my marriage.
I have been in the Army for going on 13 years and was in when we met and got married. My career has been a catalyst for the crap that I am in, although I have loved my career, it has exacted a toll.
We have three young children who are the light of my life and most of my feelings come from projecting what it will be like for them.
W keeps talking about her needs and her happiness and says the kids will be fine. She has said that she cannot see being happy and being married to me. Wow, that hurts.
Like many of you, I have built my life around this woman and my chilren and never envisioned having to think outside of that. In fact, every time I dwell on this whole thing too long I feel like I am being punched in the gut, really hard.
So fast forward to today. W has surgery tomorrow for an internal issue and has sent a red cross message requesting my presence. The bad thing is the doctor did not agree that I should come and this procedure is normal. My doctor over here in Afghanistan looked at the information from W and her doctor and agreed with her doctor saying he did not think I needed to go home.
I may be a little emotional about it but I see every opportunity to reconnect with my wife and prove to her that the Army is not the big bad wolf is a blessing. However, the Army said that I could not come home. I understand the reasons but I am still pissed about it because this will just be another way for her to look at my career and how it has hurt our marriage.
Somedays I am so hurt by the thought of losing my marriage because more than anything a divorce makes me feel like I will have failed in my moral upbringing. We both come from families where the parents stayed together for years. Sadly, her dad was killed in a car accident two months before I deployed. That too has wreaked havoc on our relationship because I was not there for her when she needed me the most.
Other days, shame on me, I am wonder what life would be like without all the drama that has been produced by this last year.
You must understand that my number one expectation for out of this sitch is to save my marriage!
Look forward to hearing from you on part II.
Howdy ya'll...not sure if having a string get locked qualifies me as a seasoned veteran but here goes part 2 of the saga.
Ok..quick update: I am deployed to Afghanistan and received the ILYBNILWY chain of events last month. I believe she is having an EM with an OM she met on AOL in October.
I am very hurt, confused, sad and suffer bouts of depression as I try to struggle through what went wrong and if it is possible to retain my marriage.
I have been in the Army for going on 13 years and was in when we met and got married. My career has been a catalyst for the crap that I am in, although I have loved my career, it has exacted a toll.
We have three young children who are the light of my life and most of my feelings come from projecting what it will be like for them.
W keeps talking about her needs and her happiness and says the kids will be fine. She has said that she cannot see being happy and being married to me. Wow, that hurts.
Like many of you, I have built my life around this woman and my chilren and never envisioned having to think outside of that. In fact, every time I dwell on this whole thing too long I feel like I am being punched in the gut, really hard.
So fast forward to today. W has surgery tomorrow for an internal issue and has sent a red cross message requesting my presence. The bad thing is the doctor did not agree that I should come and this procedure is normal. My doctor over here in Afghanistan looked at the information from W and her doctor and agreed with her doctor saying he did not think I needed to go home.
I may be a little emotional about it but I see every opportunity to reconnect with my wife and prove to her that the Army is not the big bad wolf is a blessing. However, the Army said that I could not come home. I understand the reasons but I am still pissed about it because this will just be another way for her to look at my career and how it has hurt our marriage.
Somedays I am so hurt by the thought of losing my marriage because more than anything a divorce makes me feel like I will have failed in my moral upbringing. We both come from families where the parents stayed together for years. Sadly, her dad was killed in a car accident two months before I deployed. That too has wreaked havoc on our relationship because I was not there for her when she needed me the most.
Other days, shame on me, I am wonder what life would be like without all the drama that has been produced by this last year.
You must understand that my number one expectation for out of this sitch is to save my marriage!
Look forward to hearing from you on part II.