The Marriage Map

why to stop divorce - the marriage map

full transcript:

Why to Stop Your Divorce – The Marriage Map

Stage 1: Passion Prevails

Head over heals in love, you can’t believe how lucky you are to have met your one and only star-crossed lover. You have committed your lives to each other forever – soul mates in the eyes of God and the world.

Stage 2: What Was I Thinking?

In some ways, Stage 2 is the most difficult because it’s here you experience the biggest fall. Reality sets in. The little things bother you. Although you once thought you and your spouse were kindred spirits, you now realize there are many differences between you. You’re confused about what’s going on. In the midst of feeling at odds with your one time soulmate, you are faced with making all sorts of life-altering decisions.

Stage 3: Everything Would Be Great if You Changed

There are two ways of looking at things, your spouse’s way and your way (also known as the Right Way). Every point of disagreement is an opportunity to define the marriage. Now is the time when many people face a fork in the road. Some people give up. Some resign themselves to the status quo and decide to lead separate lives. Others decide it’s time to end the cold war and begin to investigate healthier and more satisfying ways of interacting.

Stage 4: That’s Just the Way My Partner Is

We finally come to terms with the fact that we are never going to see eye to eye with our partners about everything. We more readily forgive our spouse for his/her hardheadedness, and recognize that we aren’t easy to live with either. We see that, as with everything in life, we have to accept the good with the bad. We stop being opponents, we’re teammates once again.

Stage 5: Together, At Last

It is really a tragedy that half of all couples who wed never get to stage 5, when all the pain and hard work of the previous 4 stages really begins to pay off. Although you’d both agree that marriage hasn’t been easy, you can feel proud that you’ve weathered the storms. You look back and feel good about your accomplishments as a couple, a family, and as individuals. You start having “old day feelings” again. You have come full circle. You’re home again.

Michele Weiner Davis is the creator of the Divorce Busting Centers, learn more on how you can solve marriage problems and stop divorce. Follow me on Twitter @divorcebusting, add my Divorce Busting Facebook Page, and subscribe to the Divorce Busting YouTube Videos for more advice and upcoming marriage saving events.

About mwd27

Michele Weiner-Davis, MSW is an internationally renowned relationship expert, best-selling author, marriage therapist, and professional speaker who specializes in helping people change their lives and improve important relationships. Among the first in her field to courageously speak out about the pitfalls of unnecessary divorce, Michele has been active in spearheading the now popular movement urging couples to make their marriages work and keep their families together. She is the author of seven books including her best-selling books, DIVORCE BUSTING: A Step-by-Step Approach to Making Your Marriage Loving Again, and THE SEX-STARVED MARRIAGE: A Couple's Guide to Boosting Their Marriage Libido. Michele's work has been featured in major newspapers such as the New York Times, Los Angeles Times, Washington Post, Chicago Tribune, Wall Street Journal, and magazines such as Time, Redbook, Ladies Home Journal, Essence, Cosmopolitan, Glamour, Woman's Day, Men's Health, New Woman, and McCall's. Michele is a marriage expert on Redbook's advisory board, and She has made countless media appearances on shows such as Oprah, 48 Hours, 20/20, The Today Show, CBS This Morning, CBS Evening News, CNN, and Bill O'Reilly. Michele's Keeping Love Alive program aired on PBS stations nationwide. She recently completed a reality based show for the BBC about helping couples save their marriages. Michele maintains that her true expertise in helping couples have great relationships is derived from first-hand experience. She and her husband have been married for more than thirty years.
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  • Lesli Doares

    This map is great and easy to use. I might recommend making Stage 2 bigger only because it is where most of the trouble starts. Recognizing your partner and relationship aren’t perfect is completely normal. Unfortunately, most people are caught off guard by this and don’t have the tools to navigate it and Stage 3. Again, this should be a required attachment to all marriage licenses.

  • Relacionamento Milionu00e1rio

    Wow that is so creative presentation and it is not boring to read. I love it

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