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THE DIVORCE REMEDY

The Proven Seven-Step Program for Saving Your Marriage

Anyone in a troubled marriage believing that divorce is the solution had better think again. Hot-off-the-press research puts a screeching halt to this erroneous thinking. After four decades of disposable marriages and rampant divorce, the jury is finally in- working things out rather than getting out is decidedly the best thing to do. Research now tells us that married people are healthier, happier, they live longer, have better sex lives, and make more money than single or divorced people. Children growing up intact families have a significant leg up on their peers- they fare better in school, they're more emotionally stable and have lower rates of unwed pregnancies, drug abuse and criminal activities. They are also less likely to become divorce statistics themselves in their own marriages. These findings along with others have convinced many, including President Bush, that the price we as a society pay for divorce is far too high. As a result, he is proposing to spend three billion dollars to teach American couples the skills they need to make their marriages happier and more loving and keep families together.

Yet, despite the growing evidence that divorce creates more problems than it solves, every year in America 1.5 million divorces occur. Close to fifty percent of first marriages and sixty percent of second marriages end in divorce. Veteran therapist and best-selling author, Michele Weiner Davis is convinced- and the research concurs- that the vast majority of these divorces are completely unnecessary and she has devoted her professional career of more than two decades to helping couples in rocky marriages beat the divorce odds. Weiner Davis, the acclaimed author of Divorce Busting, provides the field-tested, psychobabble-free tools that have helped thousands of couples salvage and revitalize their relationships in THE DIVORCE REMEDY: The Proven Seven-Step Program for Saving Your Marriage (Simon & Schuster; September 4, 2002; $14.00). And because, tragically, divorce is almost always a unilateral decision, Weiner Davis has developed a refreshing and remarkable program that works even if only partner uses it. Its pragmatic, results-oriented and no-nonsense approach makes it just as appealing and effective with men as with women.

THE DIVORCE REMEDY describes how media myth-makers, the legal system, and well-meaning family members, friends, and therapists unintentionally help push more than one million Americans each year into the divorce trap. Weiner Davis describes the Walk-away-Wife Syndrome -a phenomena whereby approximately two thirds of the divorces in the United States are initiated by women, who after years of trying unsuccessfully to reach their husbands through heart-to-heart talks, develop their "exit strategy" and without another word, give up on their marriages. Weiner Davis demystifies The Anytime Midlife Crisis which afflicts men, fooling them into believing that life would be better if only they were single, had more and better sex, more adoration, fewer responsibilities and obligations, more nights out with the guys, and less nagging. Weiner Davis has written THE DIVORCE REMEDY to convince readers that no matter how tough things might be, they can get better. And because she's absolutely certain that hopelessness- rather than differences in spouses' backgrounds, interests or personalities- is the real cancer in marriage, she provides the much needed inspiration and hope that marriages can and should be saved.

But inspiration without step-by-step guidance is worthless. That's why Weiner Davis takes the guesswork out of marriage-saving by showing readers how to become their own marriage experts. She quickly provides them with the skills and techniques they need to turn around troubled marriages, in seven specific steps they can take on their own:

  1. Start with a beginner's mind.

    Weiner Davis exposes dearly held fallacies about love and marriage, as well as faulty misconceptions about how to bring about change in relationships.

  2. Know what you want.

    It is said that if you aim at nothing you'll hit it every time. So too, in marriage. This step helps readers identify solution-oriented goals for their marriages, goals that contain seeds for solutions within.

  3. Ask for what you want.

    People often expect their spouses to be mind-readers. Weiner Davis cautions readers to avoid this trap and try a direct approach first. Then, if one's spouse isn't receptive, and the often aren't, she suggests many additional strategies.

  4. Stop going down cheeseless tunnels.

    Like anything else in life, it's essential to figure out unproductive strategies that backfire and redirect one's energies to doing things that bring about the desired results.

  5. Experiment and monitor results.

    Weiner Davis teaches countless field-tested techniques for getting through to the reluctant spouse. She helps readers become more systematic and learn how to "read the results" after they've tried something new.

  6. Take stock.

    Here Weiner Davis teaches readers how to stand back, evaluate their progress and determine what they need to do to reach their goals.

  7. Keep the positive changes going up.

    This step is where readers learn how to make their positive changes permanent and prevent minor setbacks from becoming a spiraling downward trend. In short, Weiner Davis shows people how to make being solution-oriented a way of life.

Once readers have learned these new techniques, Weiner Davis describes in depth how two real-life couples have made the seven-step program work for them. She follows the path they took, week by week, so that readers can see exactly how the program actually works, from beginning to end.

In addition, in separate chapters, Weiner Davis provides in-depth answers to the commonly asked questions put to her by thousands of readers of Divorce Busting. She tackles such topics as surviving infidelity, internet affairs, passion meltdown, and living with a depressed spouse. Because of Weiner Davis' engaging and accessible writing style, readers will feel that she is by their side, coaching them every step of the way. She concludes with uplifting success stories of people who used her seven-step program and made their relationships more loving than ever. With compassion and hope, humor and clarity, THE DIVORCE REMEDY provides a powerful and proven road map for enriching and saving anyone's marriage.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Michele Weiner Davis, M.S.W. is the author of several books, including the best-selling Divorce Busting, Change Your Life and Everyone in It, Getting Through to the Man You Love, and In Search of Solutions: A New Direction in Psychotherapy (with William Hudson O'Hanlon). Her work has been featured in such major publications as the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, the Washington Post, the Chicago Tribune, the Wall Street Journal, Time, Parade, Psychology Today, Redbook, Ladies Home Journal, Cosmopolitan, Glamour, Woman's Day, New Woman, and McCall's.

She has appeared as a regular guest on "Oprah," "48 Hours," "Today," and "CBS This Morning," as well as on "CBS Evening News," "NBC News with Tom Brokaw," CNN, and "NBC Real Life." She made a one-hour television special, "Keeping Love Alive," which aired on PBS stations nationwide. In addition to her private therapy practice, Weiner Davis is a highly acclaimed and sought after speaker.

Praise for Michele Weiner Davis and THE DIVORCE REMEDY:

(Fireside Books/Simon & Schuster Trade Paperbacks/September 2002/$14.00)

"Finding your way back to a loving marriage is challenging. But Michele Weiner Davis gives you the road map. Her optimism about saving marriages teetering on the brink of divorce is contagious!"
--John Gray, author of "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"

"Poignant, powerful, practical, full of hope. Michele Weiner-Davis lives up to her reputation as one of the foremost marriage educators of our culture. She informs, inspires and lovingly guides us to the promised land of love."
Pat Love, author of "The Truth about Love"

"If divorce threatens a friend or loved one, this is the book I would give them. THE DIVORCE REMEDYoffers hope and inspiration along with practical strategies to fit almost any marriage. Michele is a national treasure for married people."
Bill Doherty, Department of Family Social Science, University of Minnesota

"If you are thinking about divorce--Stop!! Put the process on hold and read Michele's book. It will give you both the hope and tools that you can use to not only save your marriage, but to have a great love relationship over a lifetime!"
Howard J. Markman, co-author, "Fighting for your Marriage"

"Michele Weiner-Davis has pioneered how to help couples build lifelong marriages. THE DIVORCE REMEDY offers, in one volume, practical steps that any couple can take to nourish an average marriage, or reconstruct a deeply troubled one.
Michael J. Mc Manus, President, Marriage Savers

"If you think yours is a hopeless case-- that your marriage can't be saved--buy this book! Do it for your children and your grandchildren."
Diane Sollee, founder and Director of Smartmarriages.com and the Coalition for Marriage, Family and Couples Education

"THE DIVORCE REMEDY is an important book for couples. Michele Weiner-Davis offers practical solutions for the real issues that make marriage either pleasurable or miserable. If the reader follows her advice they will develop a stronger and more loving bond with their partner."
Jon Carlson, Psy.D., Ed.D., ABPP, Distinguished Professor, Governors State University Past-President, International Association of Marriage and Family Counselors

"Michele Weiner-Davis, our premiere divorce buster, has distilled more lighthearted, hardheaded wisdom and boundless - but warranted - optimism. This is the book I want couples to read before they see me. This is the book I want therapists to read before they see anybody."
Frank Pittman, M.D., author of "GROW UP!"

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