A Step-by-Step Approach to Making Your Marriage Loving Again
About the book:
Generic marriage-saving advice has no place in this book. Instead you will find a step-by-step, nuts-and-bolts approach to getting unstuck and making your marriage loving again.
In this ground-breaking book, Michele Weiner-Davis, MSW gives straightforward, effective advice on how couples can stay together instead of come apart.
Using case histories to illustrate her marriage-enriching, divorce-preventing techniques, which can be used even if only one partner participates, Weiner-Davis shows readers:
- How to leave the past behind and set attainable goals
- Strategies for identifying problem-solving behavior that works--and how to make changes last
- “Uncommon-sense” methods for breaking unproductive patterns
Inspirational and accessible, Divorce Busting shows readers in pain that working it out is better than getting out.
CLICK HERE to read the first chapter
Table of Contents:
Introduction: Love the One You’re With
Chapter 1 – Divorce Is Not the Answer
Chapter 2 – Illusions Leading to Dis-solutions
Chapter 3 – What Solution-Oriented Brief Therapy Is and How It Can Help You – Fast
Chapter 4 – It Takes One to Tango: Change Your Marriage by Changing Yourself
Chapter 5 – Making a Habit of It: Identifying Patterns That Work
Chapter 6 – Breaking the Habit: Interrupting Destructive Patterns
Chapter 7 – Make Yourself Happy for a Change
Chapter 8 – Keeping the Changes Going
Chapter 9 – Is Working on My Marriage Working?
Chapter 10 – Parting Words
Comments and reveiws:
Bravo! What optimism! What level-headed good sense! What a gutsy book! Divorce Busting is a hard-nosed, direct, clear, readable survival guide that brings hope and direction. Weiner-Davis challenges all the flashy nonsense you’ve been taught about how to either make your marriage ecstatically wondrous, or raise hell and run away and cry. This book will make you fall back in love not only with your husband or wife, but with yourself and your marriage.
-Frank Pittman, M.D., author, Private Lies: Infidelity and the Betrayal of Intimacy
Every so often a book comes along that is exactly what is needed to meet a specific social need. Divorce Busting is such a book. It meets the needs of people in a fast-paced society who demand efficient short-term problem-solving technologies in all areas of their life.
-D. Ray Bardill, Ph.D., past president, American Association for Marriage and Family Therapists
If you’ve tried in vain to make your marriage work, and you prefer solutions to alibis, this is the book for you. Divorce Busting is chock-full of solid, practical advice for solving many of those vexing problems that creep into our marriages and break our hearts.
-Michael P. Nichols, Ph.D., Author, The Power of the Family and No Place to Hide
This refreshing approach for breaking relationship stalemates may be just the catalyst for change your relationship requires.
-Arlene Modica Matthews, author of Why Did I Marry You, Anyway
Divorce Busting is a brave new work—one that takes the critically important stand that most marriages are worth saving….By focusing on the positive and the possible, Weiner-Davis offers couples hope and, even more important, some much-needed help in making marriage work.
-Claire Berman, author of Adult Children of Divorce Speak Out
Three weeks ago I felt my marriage of 17 years ago was over. My husband wasn’t communicating with me, we were arguing all the time. My thoughts were that nothing has changed in 17 years, why would it now. My divorced friends were telling me to leave him and how much better I would be without him. I went and talked to a therapist because of my confusion and frustration. At the end of our session I asked her if she could recommend any books that could help me. She happened to have a copy of Divorce Busting in her office that she had purchased at a recent seminar. I cannot tell you how much that book has changed my life, and I am sure my husband would agree. I went from feeling very depressed, angry and hopeless, to realizing just how wonderful my marriage can be and is. Just by changing my reactions to certain situations, it has in turn changed his also. Since I have been more clear on my needs, that alone has solved a great deal of our fights, how hurtful misunderstanding can be. I know we will still have our disagreements and problems, but the changes being made now are wonderful and well worth it! (It’s too bad my friends didn’t read this book before they gave up.) Thank you again for having such a wonderful tool for couples to share. I am looking forward to reading your other books also.
A revolutionary book. Definitely pro-marriage. One person can save marriage, even when partner isn’t working on it. Principles upon which book is based are rock-solid. If you, a family member or a friend is having serious marital problems – GET THIS BOOK NOW!
In a day and age where one out of two people will get divorced, it is refreshing to hear the advice Weiner-Davis gives about staying together! The hurt and devastation that comes with divorce (for all concerned) is to be avoided at all costs – she debunks several myths about “why I should get a divorce” as well as gives many people’s personal testimonies. A must read!
I’m a marriage columnist and author of two books on marriage: Marriage 911 and Chocolate Chili Pepper Love. I’m not a professional counselor; I’m a humorist/storyteller and write as a friend to others who are hurting in their relationships. The #1 book I recommend to those “stuck” in problem areas, the book that was most helpful to me during a time of darkness and confusion in my own marriage is Divorce Busting. When couples are hurting, they don’t usually need a course in WHY (they are already experts at that) – what they need is HELP and RELIEF. Michele’s warm, practical, engaging advice is the medicine this writer/speaker prescribes for those who want to improve their marriage and maintain a sense of personal peace and dignity in the process. Thank you, Michele! Keep up the good work.
I had been talking with a close friend and shared that my wife and I were contemplating divorce. He gave me a copy of this book and The Romantic’s Guide and two months later, we are happier than newlyweds. We know a lot more about our needs than we did when we were married so this time we are going to keep the happiness in our relationship.
Currently separated, I am reading several marriage and self-help books. This book truly stands out with its common sense approach. Half way through I sent a copy to my husband (who would never pick up a self-help book). I think he’ll appreciate the author’s goal-oriented action approach. We’ve tried traditional therapy and analyzing our issues, and it has gotten us nowhere but more resentful of each other. We communicate less after a therapy session than we did prior. I think we are both ready for something different. I finished this book in less than a week and I feel so much more hopeful and positive about working on my marriage. Read this book if you have gone the traditional route of therapists and self-help books.
The book details what Solution-Oriented Brief Therapy (SBT) is about and offers step-by-step ways to turn failing marriages around – even if only one partner is seeking to save the marriage. The book is written in a direct, non-psychobabble language and is also entertaining. (I found myself chuckling and saying “wow” quite often). SBT is designed to work far faster than traditional therapy – as many as 10 sessions but usually 4-6 sessions with only a couple of weeks between sessions.
The author wrote the book to get the information about SBT out to more people faster because SBT really works. She has received countless letters to this effect as well as having seen successes from her own practice. It is also enlightening to know that she was a “traditional” marriage counselor before shifting to SBT.
Plenty of examples and “how to’s” and it is designed to work fast. The author contrasts traditional therapy versus SBT and explains why SBT works and gives some good insight as to why long drawn out traditional therapy often fails – especially if one partner is not willing to reconcile.
Rather than psychoanalyze why husbands or wives are a certain way, she directs the reader to examine “successes” from earlier in the marriage. She then guides the reader towards seeking positive outcomes via short-term simple goals/objectives based on those things that “worked” in the past.
The book also provides insight as to how men and women interact in a marriage environment and how men and women view and react to things differently. It also provides tremendous insight as to how a husband and wife can both be “working” at making a marriage successful, yet still be heading down the road to misery and possibly even divorce.
I would recommend the book to couples spanning the spectrum from newly engaged to those who have already divorced.
This book gives realistic tools to identify individual traits that a spouse finds unfavorable. It shows you how to identify the cause of marital trouble and make changes to repair the damage you and your spouse have endured. Good luck, don’t wait to fix your marriage. I have already started to use the knowledge of this text to save my marriage which is currently at a 7-week separation. Tonight was the first time I communicated my feelings in years and I feel good even though I have little more hope than I did yesterday of reconciling.
^ In this ground-breaking book, Michele Weiner-Davis, MSW gives straightforward, effective advice on how couples can stay together instead of come apart.