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Originally Posted by LH19
U,

One of the reasons I post on this message board is to try to communicate to the LBS is that they have more power then they think in these circumstances and that they don’t have to relinquish it all to the WW. If not working on the marriage in MC is a deal breaker for you then stop it. Take some control back. Dictate to her that she’s not calling all the shots, because so far she’s controlled everything.



LH, while I believe us LBSs can control whether we go to counseling, how do we know that we don't need patience to just go through counseling because our S wants that? I don't believe my MC is helping, but she seems to still want to go. I got us to stop going for two months, but she wants to start again. I don't, but at the same time I don't want her to have an excuse to give up completely.

Last edited by Cadet; 07/24/19 12:19 PM. Reason: Start a new thread message

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D,

There're many reasons why. It's wasting your time. It's wasting your money. It's providing them with ammo so when you sit your children down and tell them you are divorcing they can tell them I am sorry but you tried everything.

Telling them you will go to mc but only if you are working on the marriage communicates you are a person of value, and your time and money is to valuable to be wasted.

One of the biggest misconceptions around here is that when the bomb gets dropped that the WW is confused. It typically takes years for the WW to drop the bomb and when then finally do they are no longer working on the M and are executing their exit plan that puts them best light with the kids and the family.

Family and kids later in life: did you try mc?
WW: yes we did we tried everything to make it work.

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Last edited by Cadet; 07/24/19 06:32 PM. Reason: Link

Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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