Alison, I've only read bits and pieces of your story, but I see that he's been incredibly harsh towards you. It makes sense you're hesitant to re-consider a future with him when your future looks bright without him.
I'm just going to take it easy for the rest of the week. Nothing day to day needs to change and I'm not in a state to make any kind of decision right now.
Having a really rough internal day too, I can relate. There's no sense to it - nothing happened, but I also feel very heavy weight today, all week really.
Last edited by job; 07/19/1902:05 PM. Reason: added link to new thread
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
No new thread yet so I thought I'd add onto this one. I'm new to the forum so take this with a grain of salt. I don't know your whole story AlisonUK but I think your point is where many of us hope to be. Seems like at first we feel like we can change things or make a difference (we feel like the ball is in our court still but it isn't) but then we read the forums and realize the best thing to do is detach and focus on ourselves (we hopefully realize the ball is not in our court and let go along the way) and then something like your current situation crops up.
You hear the words that you wanted to hear a long time ago but then you don't know whether to trust them. (You feel like the ball is back in your court again and a part of you wants to jump on it and a part of you doesn't know if you want anything to do with H after all this and you've wasted your time waiting for something that you may not want anymore.) I think you need to relax and let things be for a little. Maybe crack the door slightly to see if actions follow his words and assess if the ball is really in your court or not. If you start to see the actions open yourself up a little more and you will probably get some clarity about what direction you want for the future. No need to make a huge decision on this right now or rush.
