For creating a non-court-ordered voluntary schedule I would ensure you speak with the kids. They need a say in their new lives, even if things cannot work out how they want, they need to feel heard.
I know you don’t want any of this. And yes, H will have time for kids while OW is away. OW is a person of significance in his life right now; all parties need to find a resolution that works (courts would impose who knows what).
I have alter your well worded email a little, H doesn’t need reasons just facts. Reason and justifications are just something he can, and will, twist around, stick to the facts and boundaries.
Also be careful of what you put in writing, negotiate face to face, never know what will be pulled up later, best to limit any future ammo. That part about protect you and the kids - remember who you are dealing with and what he has done. Do not agree to anything without considering it for a good while, maybe even get legal counsel.
- - - - Hi H,
I’m glad we can try to come up with a visitation schedule.
My personal schedule is quite flexible except on Friday afternoons, so just let me know when you have time and we can sit down and look at this.
Nyla - - - -
DnJ
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
I like the idea of not allowing the kids to his house even when she is not there t just creates boundries
In the conversation- I would not bring up OW but it is best to take the children and it is for their best interest and their request to see H outside of his apt. He can take them out to a park, a movie, an event, lunch ect or whatever activity seems age appropriate keeo in mind..If he takes them out for an activity it will probably be less time maybe he can spend time with them at your home and you can make a mysterious plan and night out
My XH had an apt on the beach with OW..He lived 45 minutes from us- He would travel to our home without her to see our kids- They never met her-They never went to his home
Good luck I know it is difficult-
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
Last edited by job; 07/11/1906:00 PM. Reason: added link to new thread
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
