Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 11 of 11 1 2 9 10 11
Joined: Feb 2019
Posts: 93
N
Niall11 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
N
Joined: Feb 2019
Posts: 93
Originally Posted by Steve85
nials, I agree you shouldn't have changed plans. But the implication here was that even if you didn't have post-movie plans that you would have stayed out just so she couldn't go back out.


I didn't mean to imply that at all. I had plans to see the movie but my friend hadn't gotten the tickets. We had wanted to go around 7 and I probably would have wanted to stay out afterwards because I don't get out nearly enough, let alone in the city on a pleasant Saturday night. Not to spite her or control her.

As it turned out, W didn't come back from her "1 to 4 PM" party until 7:40. And then only because I texted her to remind her that I was going to the movie. By then the 8:15 and 9:15 movies were sold out, and we went to the 10 PM showing, which didn't let out until nearly 1 AM.

Had she come home at anything approaching the time she wrote on the calendar, I could have gone to an earlier showing and maybe -- not that I was going to come home to enable that if my friend and i wanted to stay out -- I would have been home earlier.

OTOH, had I not reminded her about the movie, instead of going to the party with D2 from "1 to 4 PM" as announced, she went without D2 and would have stayed at this woman's house, gone out with her late, and rolled in around 3 AM.


M 44, W 32
T 10, M 8
D 2
Oct '18: Fantasy affair with OW1 (yes, W)
Feb '19: Inseparable from new lesbian BFF
Still live together but a lot of tension
Joined: Feb 2019
Posts: 93
N
Niall11 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
N
Joined: Feb 2019
Posts: 93
Originally Posted by Steve85
WASs are like blood hounds. They can sniff this stuff out like a rabbit with a yeast infection. Trying to manipulate her into not doing things you don't like is not the removal of pressure. Further, do not be surprised if in the future she ends up getting a sitter or someone else to come stay with D2 just so she can still go out and do what she wants to do despite your plans. WWs especially have no boundaries. I know you think you were setting one, but trust me, the next time she will amp it up a level. WWs are a special breed. NOTHING and I mean NOTHING will stand in their way of doing and getting what they want. That is why we tell LBHs to clear the decks and let them do what they want because even if you tried you couldn't control them.


I definitely wasn't trying to manipulate her into going out. She goes out all the time and we started to make a calendar. Saturday from 1 to 4 was her time, new BFF's birthday party with our D2. Saturday evening was my time to go to the movie. She went to the party without D2, my idea, and came home at nearly 8 instead of 4. I couldn't go to a movie until later, and I was not going to be home before midnight, period.

The sitter is an interesting question. D2 is, at the moment, awful with other people she doesn't know. W has said no to various suggestions of potential sitters because she wants to get D2 a little more prepared first. Obviously she may be more, ahem, motivated if it means something she wants to go. But W already has skipped things she really wanted to go to because I wasn't available and she wasn't OK with the sitter option. We'll see.

At this point I really don't care where she goes as long as she doesn't leave me home as the "sitter" every night and I have no life of my own.

Last edited by Cadet; 04/29/19 11:49 PM. Reason: Start a new thread message

M 44, W 32
T 10, M 8
D 2
Oct '18: Fantasy affair with OW1 (yes, W)
Feb '19: Inseparable from new lesbian BFF
Still live together but a lot of tension
Joined: Feb 2019
Posts: 93
N
Niall11 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
N
Joined: Feb 2019
Posts: 93
Link to new thread: Niall 2: Drifting Apart


M 44, W 32
T 10, M 8
D 2
Oct '18: Fantasy affair with OW1 (yes, W)
Feb '19: Inseparable from new lesbian BFF
Still live together but a lot of tension
Page 11 of 11 1 2 9 10 11

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard