You have plenty of things to talk about (the dog, the kids) without even needing to go near any R stuff. I bet she won't want to talk about it either! If she has Qs she can ask and you can deflect, if she has stuff to say you can validate and then move the conversation on. I think maybe she might feel awkward too, but I hope it goes ok. Also, your H might not have said anything much to her, my dh has not said anything to any of his family (and I haven't to mine either...), or he might have just kept it general 'we're having a few problems'.
Last edited by Cadet; 04/23/1904:49 PM. Reason: Start a new thread message
The advice you've received is sound. Keep your cards close to your chest. Be polite and even charming but don't get into R conversations with her. "I am doing really well. How have you been?". "I don't know how H is feeling. How have you been?" and a favorite of mine "Good days and bad days but the good days are out numbering the bad. How have you been?" (just enough vulnerability to be human, not too much that I sound distraught).
Last edited by Cadet; 04/23/1908:41 PM. Reason: Start a new thread message
Well, after all that the visit was something and nothing. She just waited at the door - said hello to Eldest but Youngest was out the back and she dashed away before he could come and say hello to her, which he was disappointed about. She said she was parked badly (she wasn't) but whatever...
Out with my friend this morning for a walk. Got my two pieces of work done yesterday. Plan to get my diary and admin in order this afternoon (domestic admin is a shambles of late) and my meditation class is tonight. H is coming to look after the kids and is planning to come a bit earlier and eat with us. He's been very cordial - even affectionate - these past few days. Goodnight texts without fail. He also really likes the dog (despite my getting it - even though he'd agreed to it - being a big bone (sorry) of contention with him over the past couple of months). He pretends he is helping me out and doing me a favour by taking it into the garden or playing with it while he's here seeing the kids, but I can tell he has gone soft on him. It reminds me of the man I married.
GAL plans in place for tomorrow - seeing friends morning and afternoon. There are many dog friendly cafes in this city that I have never tried and I plan to do a tour of them over the next couple of weeks!
I know it means nothing for the marriage, but it is something that is easing his bond with the kids and helping them have fun together. It warms my heart towards him. And at the very least, it is one less thing for me to listen to him whinging about. So I am taking it as a positive!
Hooray for your GAL activities