Alison - thank you. I know this is a tough time for you and I appreciate you taking the time to drop by. Sometimes, knowing people are out there makes me feel less alone. I have the kids most of this week so no specific GAL plans. I have work, not really GAL, but throwing myself into work has got me through some really difficult times this past year. I will take the kids to school in the mornings, go to work, maybe indulge in some pampering or gym sessions at lunch, then home again to spend a couple of hours with the girls before they go to bed. I did decide today to take them out for dessert when I got in. They normally eat dinner before I get in so it made a nice change. I think we will do it more often.
Dilly - you are right that there are times when both he and I use other people as a means to 'not talk to one another'. A kind of statement to say I don't need you. But this wasn't that. One of the many things he spewed at me when he left was I had stopped making any effort with other people. He was half right. He only ever saw me when I was at home. And because I liked being home I rarely went out. I occasionally went out with the other mums but more out of obligation than desire. One of my 180's was making more of an effort with the mums, initially for him, eventually because I needed people, and now, just because I like them. But he doesn't see any of this. In his head, I am still the cold hearted b**** who doesn't get on with women. So, this was a chance for him to see the 180. But, I take your point, I do have to take care not to leave him out. I don't know when I will get the opportunity again though.
Yail - I am so proud of my girls. They have been through a lot, but to give my H his credit, since leaving, he has really (mostly) put the children first. If anything, apart from their dad moving out (and now being super dad), the other big change for them is I am not around as much. There is, for sure, some guilt on my part about this. But overall, I think both H and I have tried to smooth out the sharp edges of our separation. And they are pretty grounded children.
DV - I am going to hijack my own thread and say you are fast becoming my hero. We have been through this more or less from the start, and I remember the broken women you were and your more recent posts show me there is life after this [censored]. So, for that alone, thank you.
Please start a new thread and link your two threads together. Thanks!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
