DnJ, I rather figured you meant fish, but there is no challenge in how one plays the cards in fish, so it didn't work as well for my metaphor. I still like the idea of a guy who shoots for 4s and knows how to fix stuff.
I don't usually talk about this kind of stuff, but in case it is helpful to anyone out there in terms of a healing timeline. I seem to be over my hide from the world and heal stage and have entered a go out there and do stuff stage. I used to do public interest work, mainly for the homeless and those about to be homeless. Then I had a kids, their activities, work, houses to run, an unhelpful husband, etc. I have re-entered that world from the pro bono side to help immigrants facing removal hearings and victims of domestic violence obtain protective orders against their abusers. Two causes close to my heart, in that I am most interested in helping women and children with the impact that their domestic relations can have on their lives.
I've also started volunteering for things related to my son's activities. I never wanted to do this before and frequently felt judged by the mothers who did that sort of stuff. I'm not sure when it is that I finally just stopped caring about all that and saw particular niches that I had the skill set to fill.
My son's vehicle is now in our possession and I can tell it is love at first sight. He did an admirable job of driving it around in city traffic yesterday. I think parking mastery will take longer to come about. I too struggled to park that beast in my first foray with it and I have received many a compliment in the past (usually from older men oddly) about what a great driver and parker I am.
OD has been keeping in contact with S, finally expressing appropriate care, interest and concern for him, and S actually initiated a call to him late last night (after receiving a whiny text about his lack of communication), perhaps for the first time ever, (OD didn't answer but called him back) and they spoke for an hour. OD usually won't do anything on a work night, so that was an interesting development.
Despite his eagerness to get his divorce dismissed, he has not been as eager to set up the promised time this week to come and talk to me so that we can get "all of this resolved" so he can focus on "taking care of all of his elderly relatives" in whom he has never, ever shown any consideration or care. I just keep shaking my head and moving forward. One day at a time. Unfortunately for OD, in addition to my usual work and S schedule, I now have a lot more time commitments with my volunteer and pro bono activities, and he may not find my schedule quite so flexible moving forward.
About to book a trip to visit my lovely D and catch some of her performances on the other coast. Live is good.
Please start a new thread and link the two threads today. Thanks!
BTW, glad your son has his car. I hope you are able to book a flight to see your lovely D.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
