just wanted to check in with you and say hello. I have a similar situation - in that my H moved out two months ago and since then has pretty much refused any and all contact with our teenager. There's a younger child he sees regularly. It is damaging the relationship between the two children, and though he seems to be making warm overtures towards me and talks about a possible R at some point in the future, I don't see any way I can get closer to him until and unless he makes some serious efforts with the older one. I get the sense he feels he is withdrawing contact and affection in order to teach a lesson - to make sure that the elder one knows that he only gets contact when he behaves right - and I find that attitude so disgusting I can barely look at H sometimes.
Anyway - our situations are a bit different and I am new here but if you had time to give me some suggestions on my thread about how to deal with the two separate issues (possible R and relationship between H and eldest) then I would be grateful.
You sound like you have a lot on your plate. I hope you're well. Cruise sounds good!
WWhas stopped paying half of the mortgage, which is kind of a burden now. she used to write checks for the bills, and the mortgage. but she decided that we need to put the house on the market (we just got it april, 2018), and that’s when she stopped paying her half of the mortgage.
It does sound like it's time to get a L. You're going to need some help sorting through this mess. I would think there are legal ramifications to your W refusing to pay have the mortgage if she is a co-owner. At the least I would think that the half of the payments that she hasn't been paying for the last year would be deducted from her half of the equity. It's time to get with a L and discuss that and how to document it.
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i worry about her trying have custody of D14, wherein D14 really doesn’t want anything to do with her. D14 despises her, and the R between them is non- existent.
I think she's old enough that she would be allowed to decide that for herself, it depends on the laws in your state though. Some allow the child to choose if they are 12 or over, others are 14 or over, and others let the judge decide based on the child being of "sufficient age and capacity to communicate their preference regarding who they want to live with". Again it's something to discuss with a lawyer.
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i know i may sound vengeful and angry
I don't think you sound that way.
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when D 14’s wounds have healed, i can ask her to spend time with her.
That's not on you. That's for D and W to work out. When you talk to D about it just listen and validate. Don't try to point her a certain direction.
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after this long post, my question would be, is it a good idea to go and sit down with WW and her L without having any L with me? I would like to go, sit down, express my terms again, and not say any word. if they don’t agree to my terms, i walk out. would this be a good idea? or should i start retaining my own L and let her handle it?
No I absolutely would not meet with them without your own L. Go in 100% prepared.
Last edited by Cadet; 03/08/1903:46 PM. Reason: Link
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
