I would say that she thought it was good. Sex was my issue- she said that it was never enough. I'm aware that it is not quantity that matters but it started with 3-4 a week. After S was born it slowed down to 1 a week. In the last 2 years 1 every 2- 3 months. I got rejected so often -the heartbreak became unbearable so I pretty much stopped asking. Her beef was that I was unmotivated the last few years.Understand that I took on an entry level job 4 years ago with the hopes of moving up the ranks in a short time because i have prior experience. I took the necessary steps- became LEAN green belt certified, became a 1st aid team specialist, became a certified trainer for the company. Worked tirelessly and thru safety and LEAN initiatives was able to save the company over 100Kin safety and process improvements . Now this was a very physical job sometimes with a device I logged 24 km( almost 15 miles) in a 10 hr shift. Add to that a lot of sports injuries from the past and me being an over weight 250-255 lbs. I came home in agony often times just getting up the stairs into the shower and then grabbing the easiest thing ( cookies-chips) and nursed my bad knees and ankles untill it was time to go to bed. I know I did not contribute much and was also very grumpy because of the pain that I was in. But i also would have appreciated a little empathy. I often times woke up at 3 am 1 hour earlier to heat and ice them to warm them up for the day. I was diagnosed in my 2nd year with bone spurs -osteoarthritis in my knees and ankles . Had surgery to remove them in my ankles was off for 4 months went back and they reoccurred. That is why I was on short term disability because they said they did not want me back untill I was fully capable to return to my duties. I later found out that an 30 yr employee (almost like the unspoken leader of the crew) did not like the changes that I had done and had made out to be a bad guy amongst the managers. She was not very supportive of my role and did very little to help unless I was unable to move. Often times I would crawl up the stairs- I rarely asked for help unless I REALLY needed it. I fully understand that his is not attractive- overweight, unable to function but that was my reality. So now here I am my BD and my phsical ailments have prompted me to lose 60 lbs I am the fittest since high school . I can fit into a size 31 inch pants I was 32 in high school. But my legs cannot take the wear and tear like they used to.
I still coach my sons team and stay somewhat active at the gym and cycling. Now my son has seen all of this transformation and because I am not in constant pain - I am able to handle things with a less edgy fashion. This is also why I feel my S understands where I come from.
I hope this helps.
M51 w50 T-20Yrs M-16Yrs S15- mad at W for not trying and giving up 1 Awesum dog BD 10/31/17 separate rooms 02/08/18 wife moved out 05/17/18
Please start a new thread. This thread has reached the 100 posting/reply limit. Thanks!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I counted five sentences that could be considered from your wife's perspective.
Five.
Including your first, which I question, since she left without having an affair.
Have you explored wih a therapist your inability to see things from another person's point of view and acknowledge their feelings without justifying yourself?
Me: 44 H: 44 Kids: 20, 16, 16, and 10 Together/Married: 22 years H announced he was emotionally detached and considering D: 4/4/16 H announced he is going to try to stay and reconnect: 5/1/16
Last edited by Cadet; 09/18/1804:31 PM. Reason: Link
M 53 W 54, M since 98 D15, D19 8/2013 discovered EA, W maintained contact with OM until 10/14 7/2/17 W said she wanted S, 7/25/17 moved out of MBR 12/17 W says moving out 5/18, W still in home.
