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Joined: May 2018
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Thanks again Steve. Going to go hit the weights. Her consistent behavior is to not show me any emotion and be like a robot almost around me. She is getting better and we have been able to get along. The anxiety has faded. Yes we both can influence each others happiness way too much. I am trying to detach but it isnt really working so far. I will work on being the alpha I always was. My ego was too big and it was kind of shattered and now building myself up again.

Its sad to say because I love her want my family together and am attracted to her. I feel like more and more I should just let go and move on. Maybe I give it a couple months but with me paying support / alimony a couple months = $7,000 from me to her. Hard to have patience and not have negative emotions there.

I have been reading a lot and a cure for depression and anxiety is to stop trying to cure yoruself and go make someone else happy. Put the focus off your issues and towards building value and improving the lives of others. I dont know if this applies to W and I dont know if it will help me get attraction and respect back. But I want her to be happy and I want her to trust me. Am I making it easier to sleep with someone else at her own place, probably. But she is very attractive she could get invited to a guys place anytime. When we were both on dating apps she was getting dozens of matches.

So far my life outside of her has been work, workout, yoga, meditate, therapy, work on building a future career. I want to have fun. Thought of taking D3 to beach this weekend. Maybe Ill just do it, get an airbnb. Its my last weekend off for a while and I have the time and money. Screw what the W thinks or does for her birthday on the 12th. If she goes out and celebrates with OM fine. I need to do what makes me happy and that is getting away to have fun experiences with the people I love. At this point that is my daughter.


H: 33 W:32
M: 5 T: 8
D: 4
BD: 6/2017
MO: 6/2017
House sold: 6/28/18
W wants to build friendship / relationship- 9/18
Paying $ support since 7/18.
Physical Reconnect- 10/18
W Starts- IC / MC - 10/18
Joined: May 2018
Posts: 953
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Getting to the beach with your daughter sounds like a great plan!


W 34 Me 42
Married 7 years together 8
0 kids 1 beloved dog
BD 4/6/2018
I moved out 4/7/2018
I moved back in alone 8/05/2018
I file 3/06/2019
D official 5/7/2019
Joined: May 2018
Posts: 575
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I know DB is about patience... But I am going to be paying for W to have a rental. Starting July 1 I am paying her $2325 per month. I think I am setting myself up for more pain if we dont divorce. Hoping for R when she gave it a 5% chance that she would want to work on the MR a few weeks ago in a couples therapy session.

We have been separated a year shes been living at her parents almost the whole time. She has spent almost no money which is about to change a lot. We have both been with other people. Yes I want to reconcile, I love her I miss her shes a great mom and wife when she was committed to me. But she has all the power in her hands to pursue me knowing Im avaibale and now Im paying her and I have to trust her.

I am really considering starting the divorce process unless she gives me a reason not to. I know she has feelings for OM, even though she says they dont see each other. I know we have lied to each other. She could easily still be lying. She doesnt want to work on our MR and hasnt wanted to in a year. She has said maybe she wants to work on it or I dont know but she has never actually actively worked on anything between us since she left.

Im struggling with this decision. I see the L tomorrow morning. If she wants me and our MR she can tell me she wants to work on it, right? If we divorce and she wants me back she can say so.... sometimes people get back together after divorce, right? Advice is appreciated.


H: 33 W:32
M: 5 T: 8
D: 4
BD: 6/2017
MO: 6/2017
House sold: 6/28/18
W wants to build friendship / relationship- 9/18
Paying $ support since 7/18.
Physical Reconnect- 10/18
W Starts- IC / MC - 10/18
Joined: Feb 2018
Posts: 9,822
Likes: 226
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Did, my wife would have given 0% chance 4 months ago. Think about it this way, she fell in love with you, then out of love with you. Why can't she fall in love with you again?

Last edited by Cadet; 06/05/18 08:59 AM. Reason: Start a new thread message

M(53), W(54),D(19)
M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018
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H: 33 W:32
M: 5 T: 8
D: 4
BD: 6/2017
MO: 6/2017
House sold: 6/28/18
W wants to build friendship / relationship- 9/18
Paying $ support since 7/18.
Physical Reconnect- 10/18
W Starts- IC / MC - 10/18
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