And I just found out that it is STILL going on. I had a bad feeling. I asked her about it. She said yes, she tried to end it but can't. I am so hurt. I am seriously considering just moving out. She thinks she is in love with the OW. She says it's too little too late from me. I've told she isn't giving me chance to work on things but that I believe our marriage is worth working on and saving. She think she just needs to be alone. I need help! I am so lost. So very lost.
And I just found out that it is STILL going on. I had a bad feeling. I asked her about it. She said yes, she tried to end it but can't. I am so hurt. I am seriously considering just moving out.
Very sorry to hear this. Sometimes separation is needed before a WAS to gain clarity. The grass looks greener on the other side until you are standing there, then the first side suddenly looks greener.
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She thinks she is in love with the OW. She says it's too little too late from me. I've told she isn't giving me chance to work on things but that I believe our marriage is worth working on and saving. She think she just needs to be alone. I need help! I am so lost. So very lost.
She DOES need to be alone. Give her time and space. Quit trying to talk to her about the R!!! Just leave her alone. Read DR, read Sandi's rules, follow them.
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She wants independence. Am I just being a jerk if I do only my own laundry and not her?
Well when dealing with a WAS it's kind of a no-win situation. Do her laundry and she thinks you look weak. Stop doing it and she thinks you are being spiteful.
And now she has resorted to personal attacks. Told me F off. Called me a B!t.. All she is focused on is everything bad in the past 2 years. No recollection of the good times, the good memories.
I go to the gym. I try to stay active. I try to still get out and see friends. A few of us were supposed to go away this wknd. At first I was undecided, but I have decided to go ahead and go.
If anyone reads this, I've given up. I can only control myself and my own happiness. She has given up. She gave up a long time ago. The pets are now gone. The house is being sold. In a month or two I'll have an apartment. I need to start working on being happy without her.
Given up on what? Your relationship? Well, when your partner walked out, they dragged your relationship out with them and took everything.
She's given up? On what? Trying to reconcile with you?
Yes, looks like everything is moving fast. She's gone. Pets gone. House being sold. You're moving into an apartment. Guess what - there's tons of us here who have that same history.
I got BD'd by W out of nowhere. In three weeks, she found a new place. In 8 weeks the house was on the market and sold. She moved out and I stayed in the house until new owners took it over. I moved to a new apartment.
Everything blew up. Shattered at the speed of light. I know what you're going through.
Here I am though, ten months past BD, doing great. Picked up the pieces of myself from the ground and started from scratch basically. It was a grind, and some days it still can be, but there are more fabulous days than I had ever imagined six months ago.
Don't give up. Your personal journey is just starting. Grieve. Let out your emotions. Seek help. Get active. Take care of YOU.
This community is here for you. It saved me. It can do the same for you.
