My New Scenario

[Newly20]

6 months is indeed the waiting period, i believe it starts from the day i was served. At first i did agree with it all and planned on not responding and just letting it ride out, but after truly analyzing some of the child visitation areas it seems odd. She stated i would get D3 every other weekend, no where in the paperwork does it mention the fact that i have her on the daily. Something i will need to meet up with a lawyer for advice on, for my protection in the future as far as CS and what not.

Staying dark has been relatively easy, i dont feel like i have fell off too bad nor that I'm pursuing. It is however difficult to be "nice" to her i feel some resentment towards WAW for what she is doing. I guess for now ill have to practice faking until it becomes natural.

Appreciate the recent responses, have definitely been giving me something to go off. Have a wonderful weekend everybody.

[RR17]

Let's talk a little about what constitutes pursuing.

Complementing her dress=persuing
Calling MIL= pursuing

I know you harbor resentment. We all do. It will get easier. Stay busy and don't spend too much time alone. It will get easier.

Yes, get your own attorney. It's a lot easier and cheaper than challenging a divorce decree later.

[Newly20]

Yes i fell off on the occasion in which i complimented the WAW, and i spoke to MIL many times which at the time i did not see as pursuit. Now that i sat back to look at it, WAW feels as if nobody is on her side with her decision, her own family has told her she is making a mistake, me talking to MIL only added fuel to the fire. But now to be more productive with myself, step away from her family and worry only about D3.

[RR17]

It takes a minute to recognize what constitutes pursuing. What seems like a legitimately kind and loving thing can be perceived as pursuing.

[Newly20]

So its my weekend with the kiddo, just hanging out and took her to the park for a while earlier. Man is it tough to go out there and see other kids with both parents having fun and living that "family" life. I remember when WAW and i would take our D3 together. I know we are suppose to live in the present but i cant help to look into the future and think about a broken family. No more family outings, no more vacations, celebrating birthdays together. And to top it all off, the thought of another man being there to enjoy these memories which where supposed to be only ours.

[OrangeK]

This exact paragraph is very relevant to me right now.

[RR17]

I feel for you both.

No advice.

Prayer for you.

[Newly20]

A few days have gone, weekend was tough for me mainly becuase of seeing familys together and me being a "single" father. Not so much me missing the W. Then Monday comes along, i went on to work and was fine, did the usual routine of having my kiddo with me til W picked her up in the afternoon. Had the first face to face conversation with her about our daughter. For the first time since BD i think i was able to maintain eye contact with her. May not be a big deal, but for whatever reason in the past i had not been able to. Read somewhere that if you maintain eye contact it tells the other person that they have your full attention and that you are listening.

Anyhow, we just talked a bit about daughter and a couple things to check in with our baby sitter. She went on her way. Then came the dumpy feeling. After that i could not pull myself out of the slump. Couldn't get to sleep, had my alarms go off for work and i had no desire to go. Laid right back down.All these things are no good, but i rather be on my own with my feelings than to be at work and be out of it.

Ive been seeing so many new comers. Even IRL there are soo many people going through a split that its ridiculous. Why is our generation so quick to give up. Nobody wants to fight anymore, they give up at the first tough situation. This whole thing bums me out, even makes me question the future. I see all these people around me in relationships who are not even committed, a lot of cheating and unhappiness. Makes you not even want to try, question whether someone is being legit with you.

[Newly20]

Also, are there any self-help books you guys would recommend? Trying to get into some reading as i feel it has helped in the past.

[Newly20]

It's been a while that I've posted. This week our interactions have been light, a bit of talking but its all strictly business. I have now mentioned anything about the on-going divorce, nor has she brought it up. I'm still taken by the fact that she didn't mention beforehand. I thought for sure she would tell me that she was set on it and was going to file. Not sure what to make of this.

So onto myself, this week was busy with work, finally got around to working full shifts and even some overtime. This tremendously helped me as i love my job, and working longer hours helped keep my mind off my sitch. However, not sure if i want to keep up with this OT due to the fact that i can have a child support case opened up. We have a verbal agreement in place currently, but i do not know who is in W ear.

As time progresses i do find that the sadness dissipates. I was so down on the loss of the family, how W could just walk away from all the "lifelong dreams" we talked about. We were high school sweethearts so I'm not sure if this comes into play. The fact that she no longer wants to work on the marriage, she no longer feels those butterflies and thinks the grass is greener on the other side. Are WAW really that naive? All marriages have ups and downs, but rather than work on it she chooses to just walk away, not only hurting Us, but our little D3. i feel great disappointment in today's younger generation. "When something is broken, you fix it. You dont throw it away and buy another." That's how i feel, maybe I'm more of an old school type of guy.

This thought alone has me feeling anxious. I know i should focus on today, but cant help but think into the future and wonder if there is another woman with the same thoughts as myself. Someone who is gonna fight the battle and not another person who is going to throw in the towel at the first rough patch we go though.