Holy cow! It's Tad...

[tadpole1025]

Thank you DnJ. I would say that you are "encouraging."

No worries.

Yes, I'm making progress....slow progress.

I would like to get this event over with and be there for my son, but still not sure if I can.

I will decide on Saturday.

We shall see...

[kml]

Tad-
You don't have to. I know how fragile you were in your divorce and how hard it has been for you to get this far. If you think you can't handle it, you don't have to.

Look, my ex's new wife is NOT an OW, and I don't remotely want my ex back or care about her, but it's still really difficult to be in the same room as my ex since he has treated our kids badly since the divorce in various ways. If it weren't for that I'd probably be fine with them, honestly. One of my son's is graduating in a couple of weeks and I think he is wrestling with feeling uncomfortable with having all of us (my ex and his wife, me and my other son and my mom ) all together at lunch afterwards. I don't want to cause my son any discomfort and told him we could invent an excuse why we have to return home after and he can just have lunch with his dad. I know he loves me and don't want him to feel like he has to be stressed out between us all. The silent daggers my mom would shoot at my ex would probably be too much anyway hahaha.

[exquisitetobe]

Thank you Kml ..

To ALL of us on this forum, we share our stories, we look for support and validation. We are sometime quick at giving advise without knowing the whole story of the poster.
I do not like 2x4s. They can do harm and this is not what this forum is for.
Give your opinion but do not push anyone to do what YOU think is the right thing.
The poster shoukd ALWAYS do what is right for him or her.
SUPPORT is what it' s all about.
We learn alot here. We are giving tools to help us navigate through this.
We go forward and we stumble at time. It is all part of life.

Tad, you do not have to decide anything at this very moment. In the morning of the event, you will know what is right for you to do. Then and only then should you make the decision.

Please, be good to yourself. Many people love you and will still love you no matter what you decide.

[tadpole1025]

Thanks KML and exquisitetobe.

Diane, I don't mind all of the advice coming in. I consider it all. Some will feel I should go and others don't think I should go. To be honest, I feel both ways...I should...I shouldn't.
My big thing is: if I go, will it make S24 uncomfortable? If I don't go, will it disappoint him? If I go, will I lose my cool? If I don't go, will I wish that I did?

Seriously, I'm good with all of the opinions and advice. Still undecided....

Tad

[Ginger1]

While I may push a little more than others, my advice is in no way 2x4’s. You don’t need 2X4’s . Maybe just some different perspectives and relatable stories to help you.

I just think getting over the fear ( and I do believe in my heart of hearts it is a fear) at a smaller event will give you less anxiety, or perhaps none. For the bigger events you’ll really want to be a part of. I speak what I speak because I do get it. My ex’s wife is the OW.

I was very close to my ex sil. I even lived with her for a while. She spoke and spoke of her wedding and decided not to invite me. I had to find out on my own, she didn’t even come to me. I was devastated. So hurt. She didn’t want any “problems” on her wedding day, which I would never cause. FF years later and all of us attend her annual Super Bowl party together.

I almost also didn’t let my daughter go to the ex’s and OW’s wedding. Thanks to this board I 2 days before, I said OK. Thank god I did, because how would I be able to explain she wasn’t at their wedding and why?

Tad, your decision is your decision, and I support either way. But if I didn’t help you look at this from a different perspective, I would feel I didn’t do right by you, especially knowing my own experiences there is no judgement either way.

I am forever thankful to those on this board who gave me perspectives that scared the poop out of me.

My 11 year old came to me and thanked me. She told me she is so happy that her parents get along . She knows most divorced parents can’t even look at each other and it has made her so happy.

The way our coparenting turned out offer D isn’t the usual story. Very rare. And we didn’t have a “mutual” divorce. Him and his wife betrayed me worse than I could have ever imagined being betrayed . I wanted to DIE. And I guess one day I woke up and decided no way Jose. I’m taking back my life.

Again, my what I say is out of experience. Not to hand you 2x4’s. You don’t need that and you don’t deserve that. And I support you in your choices. Not that my support matters, but I do really get it. I wouldn’t say what I do if I didn’t see benefit in it for YOU

[tadpole1025]

Thank you Ginger1. It's all good. I appreciate all input.

I'm still undecided. I saw someone today that looked similar to OM. I could almost feel my blood boil.

I honestly wish that today was Sunday so this would be behind me.

Bleh....

[job]

Tad,

Breathe! You will know what to do Sunday morning.

[tadpole1025]

Screw it.

I'm going.

Job, it is actually Saturday afternoon. (Tomorrow)

This will be interesting.

[DnJ]

Way to go Tad!

You got this.

[tadpole1025]

HAHAHAHA!!!

Now OM is not going.

My new thread is titled "OM Backed Out"

Can't remember how to link them.

Please check it out.

Tad

New Thread:

OM Backed Out