Wow! I've Been taking in all your feedback while drowning in my work. I decided to take a break, have a bite to eat, and reply.
First, I gotta say. No wonder I am single. I am all over the place! I want to date someone, then when I get a chance, I analyze everything.... Seems by all the feedback, some see major red flags, or it's me who is reading too deep. I am either not giving enough of a chance, or too much of a chance. It would be nice to just to meet the one I don't have to question. Ha. See, me being so particular again. But yes, the abandonment has really really gotten to me, finally.
I have made an executive decision. I am going to go to go with the flow. When I really know it's not going to work, I will end it. For now, like UR said, I am going to live in the moment. It's just a second date. I also know my gut has NEVER been wrong. It's always simply been a matter of whether or not I listen to it. I will listen to it, when it is sure.
He's been really super sweet. He is a sweet guy. Maybe trying a bit hard, but I think a little more than just drinks will tell me a lot. He is also very respectful. Especially in regards to my daughter.
C-nut, I am rarely ever late except under extenuating circumstances. Never because I am taking too long to get ready, or something petty. I arrived 3 minutes late on purpose because I did not want to sit alone at the bar of a local pub waiting. I wanted to ensure he was there first.
Sotto, you nailed it. I can see if a guy is a racist, disrespectful overall, simply funny or downright offensive via FB. I don't look for any other reason.
I realize my guard is up more than it has ever ever been. I am in protection mode.
OH. I forgot to tell you. A guy finally went to ask me out kind of like how I would like it to happen. IN the bookstore! Sunday, I decided to stop in the bookstore and I felt this guy following me. He started talking to me. He was going to ask me out when I lied and said something about having a boyfriend. I give him much credit for trying. He was just not my type at all. I guess I got what I asked for, though, lol.
UR, I feel like I am doing the best job at life right now as I can do. I am, I am surviving, but I am oh so tired. I realize D10 does not rely on her dad for anything. I never have, but she is scared to ask him for any of her needs. It's always me. "mom, we gotta go get this, and go do that, and you need to email my teacher, get me more school supplies, new sneakers, new phone case, we need to study for this, and that....." She knows I am the only one who does this stuff. Sure, ex is good for taking her away to his friends house for the weekend. But doesn't handle any of the needs or day to day stuff. D10 AGAIN asked me to please talk to her dad about how mean he talks to D and OWW! I am trying to think of how to approach this (of course, OWW is on her own here) but the examples she gives shows me what an mean, angry, impatient man he still is. Of course I am happy I can be the parent who my daughter knows she can always rely on. But man, I feel like I just can't keep up.
I feel like I have never gotten my man-picker right ONCE. Now my daughter has to suffer for that.
I just wish I was a little bit more settled with a little but more security in my life. It's not the case, so I am just going to take it day by day, moment by moment.
Trust your gut and observe the man when you are dating him. Actions always speak louder than words and if you think you like the man, go out on several dates and do different things on the dates.
You have to cut yourself some slack...you've had a lot going on since your divorce and more so in the last year or so. You've been juggling so many balls in the air, that you've not had time to just breathe and sit quietly for a bit.
I know you've got this and URWorthy has given you some golden advice this morning.
When you have a moment, please start a new thread. Spring is around the corner and it's time for new beginnings and what a great time for some new beginnings to take place for you and your daughter.
Last edited by job; 02/14/1802:19 AM. Reason: added link to new thread
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
