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Joined: Oct 2017
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Hi Nicole,

I think your neighbour is spot on. He's walking all over you because he knows how passive (I like to think too nice) you are. He knows he can do whatever he wants and there'll be no consequences. Because he knows you love him. Well you can still love him and stand up for yourself. It could be the 180 that makes him sit up...or not! But either way it may make you feel a lot better about yourself and your situation.

See a lawyer...for advice if nothing else. He owes his daughter support and you too. Very important!

Definitely look into antidepressants. I wish you well in your quest to find whats medically wrong with you...and your quest to find the new you! Keep your chin up Nicole, and come here for a chat whenever, I'm here for you xx


Me 50 H 48
S 23 S 21 D 19
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Married 25 years
Separated April 2009 Reconciled 2010
Separated September 2017
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Go see an attorney now. You don't have to file yet but you need to find out your financial options and protect yourself. Knowledge is power. Go find out how much money you would get in an order for temporary support and how it compares to what he's giving you now.

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Nicole, just like everyone else said, you need to talk to a lawyer, if only to make sure he pays to support you and your daughter. It stinks, but he hasn't really left you with any other choice, has he? Stop being so nice. That isn't going to help you in any way.


M:23 T:26
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filed 7/16
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Yes I agree. I don't think 'nice' really get results. I prefer 'means business.' If he wants the marriage to end, that means sensible division of assets and proper provision for your child. If this isn't in place, it needs to be and I would make a L appt without delay. I was really reluctant to do this and was 'pushed' by the forum, so I reluctantly did. I must say that I never regretted that step, even though XH hadn't anticipated we would use L's and was dismayed.

In my sitch, XH threw out a number of 'wildly in his favour' settlement options. Actually, my settlement (using the normal formula in our circumstance) was approximately double what he originally proposed. Don't expect the WAS to be fair!!

Also, do consider any medical support options that will help you cope during this challenging time Sweetie.

Xx

Last edited by Cadet; 01/01/18 08:45 AM. Reason: start a new thread

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
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NicoleR Offline OP
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Thanks so much everyone. I see in the message above "start a new thread" so let me figure out how to do that and I'll respond more ASAP.



http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2773599#Post2773599

Last edited by Cadet; 01/04/18 03:17 AM. Reason: Link
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