T, I feel your strength from here! You are strong, girl. She's trash and not worth the space in your head. Your new, exciting life is calling out to you to "come see, all the wonderful things I have in store for you...."
Love and hugs, and enjoy the mountains. My sister and I took a road trip from Alabama to New Jersey last year in the fall, and made it last about 5 days, all the way down the Blue Ridge Parkway. It was one of the most peaceful, beautiful drives I've had in a long time. Just breathe deeply. Enjoy your Grandma and your boys. HUGS!
M-60 H-51 M-14 years BD 12/26/16 S 1/1/17
"First the pain, then the rising." Glennon Doyle Melton
He ended up meeting up with a mutual friend at a local bar.
She asked him what was up. He told her he's done. That I've made everything a mess. I'm accusing him of cheating. That marriage counseling didn't work and he's just done. That there's no fixing this.
She told him he was a POS and that she doesn't believe for a second that there's nobody else. He said he wanted to talk to her husband and owe him an explanation. She told him he will punch you in the face if you tell him you're leaving your family. She said H seemed shocked.
He told her I'm beautiful and he loves me and I'm a great person and that it's just him. She asked why do you have to do this. He said it's just me. I don't know what's wrong wth me. I mean doing steroids I bought the motorcycle I don't know what is wrong with me.
He text her after he left the bar and said thanks for listening and understanding his decision that it's over and that he is going to try and be as fair to me as possible through the divorce.
I told her I wished she would not have talked to him but what's done is done. She told me he's done. It's over. I need to move on. That he's lying and so self absorbed and worried about himself. He told her we tried marriage counseling and there's no improvement.
She said H what are you doing can we fix this can I help. Can you not wal k out on your family. What can we do to make this right. He said I don't know. To be honest I'm done. I want to move on with my life.
She said she told him if that's his choice then don't expect to have a relationship with her and her husband and he replied really? And she said yes.
She said she told him I don't even know you. You're not the H I know. He said I don't know what's going on with me. I just know I don't want to be with her anymore.
It stings but I've heard it all before.
He then sends me a text after he met with her 'goodnight, hope the baby sleeps good for you tonight'
Go F yourself. Stop trying to have a paper trail. Don't try to be nice to me so that OUR friends won't hate you for what you're doing. Dlck
And guess the crazy train is gaining speed... OW #1 just posted a picture of her and H together last night on FB. He's of course wearing a shirt I bought him for Christmas and the watch I bought him. Her nice chest tattoo is hanging out and her shirt says 'thick girls taste better'
Reallllll classy! THAT'S HILARIOUS! (painful to you, I know, but sooo deliciously tacky).
Yes, very tasteful. And such an upgrade from his nurse practitioner wife/mother of 3!
I hope he's terrified and praying you don't have online access...
He text me shortly after it was posted
H how was the boys day how was gem mining M we had a great day H is your grandma spoiling them like always lol H ? H ok well just make sure they call me before they go to bed it would be nice to hear from them since I haven't since Thursday M you can call them anytime
OOPS, he's worried that you saw the pics so this^^^ is him checking out whether you have by dancing around it, pretending they don't exist and seeing if you bite his head off,
INSTEAD of saying "oops I had not idea and I'm sorry if that hurt".
He's not exactly brave...
My friends are all blowing my phone up now after that picture because I hadn't really shared anything with anyone.
well now you don't have to worry about explaining anything! NOW you can kick him out with no social confusion...all is understood. (Thanks, h!)
More convenient, really.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
"use your anger as a call to action, which is not likely to turn into bitterness".
I get why you're mad. (T3, I REALLY get why the fb posts upset you. My fool H posted on HIS page and knows our kids & I and dozens of mutual friends and colleagues would see it
(the kids had refused to meet OW in Mexico where inlaws had winter home) so H posted he's "introducing OW to family in Cabo San Lucas" where WE vacationed for 20+ of our 35 years and in summer we would go to the ranch, which I predict OW will visit with h. Kids felt he was punishing them by saying "the family" when none of us were there, but I think BEST CASE scenario is h is "all done" and so, why can't he post like that??
MY guess=
"Why is 25 hurt? It's Not her business!! BUT IF she is hurt, she must miss me which validates how great a catch I am and what a lousy catch she is, that she's not dating...'
But I've seen a few of those types of pics with h's colleagues and their new OWs, in which I did not know the w, but instantly disliked the h for posting a new gf. I could see it was shallow and cruel to their ex wives. I wonder if those pics are for their male friends to give "attaboys!" to them...?? Because we women are NOT impressed by those things...most distasteful to me.
If I had known the wives, I'd have sent a supportive message. Point being, these guys are NOT perceived by most women very well. Married women find it threatening to know a man can leave his wife & mother of 3, including an infant....
they may not say it to his face, (most won't) but it's not going to go over well.
Many men and women get protective of new moms/pregnant women. Your friend talking to him - let's hope he will be fair to you. THAT is what I'd emphasize if your friends can. Mirror back that they hope/expect him to be "generous"
don't gag until you get the money... Your h's campaign to polish his image is an epic fail.
However I prefer him telling your mutual friends: "I don't know what's wrong with me... But I don't want to be married" ^^^that is the best version you can expect him to give,
AND it says it all, without making you the villain.
Carry on T, you are getting thru the worst of the storm. It is going to pass.
((( )))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
TBH the picture of them didn't hurt AS bad as I thought it would have... I was more angry that he would be that disrespectful again. He told my friend she's just a coworker and it means nothing. My friend told him if you have a wife and 3 children the last thing you should be doing right now. He of course gave all the right answers and she told him you aren't going to con me.
I really don't want people involved because I don't want it getting any worse. I'm already frustrated about everything she said last night because I know he feels backed ina corner and like she said he's VERY concerned what others think about him. She said he is so self absorbed it's disgusting. So I really just don't want him knowing I care enough to discuss anything.
I haven't responded to any messages from him that aren't about the kids.
I can't remember if I also told you guys he told my friend I ran away with the kids to NC that I packed up and just left didn't tell him. It's a lie obviously I called him about it. He said I ran away from our problems and that me leaving to NC was the nail in the coffin for him. It sealed the deal that this can't be fixed.
It's just anything to blame me. If it wasn't me going to NC it would have been something else. That's why my biggest concern is to not fuel his narrative.
We're supposed to come back Wednesday but I may extend the trip through the weekend. Not sure. I am in NO hurry to get back to his BS.
