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This stuff isn't easy....don't beat yourself up. Also at the end it is not totally up to us and many things are out of control. Just back on the horse and keeping riding!!

Last edited by Cadet; 07/28/17 08:03 AM. Reason: Start a new thread message

Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 18,666
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Quote:
I am total newbie to this and today has been the first day so far without any contact. We've been communicating about separation stuff, but nothing today. I know I am just starting basically. In regards to your advice, how should I proceed when it comes to NC and limiting contact if she's suffering from serious depression? I've read some MLC threads about keeping the door open gently, but I am wondering if that can come off as pursuing. There is so much nuance and subtlety to this that I am trying to figure out what's best.


I suggest you don't initiate the contact. If she calls you, then you can answer. Be polite and mostly listen. I recommend that you end the conversation first. If she sends a text message, answer only direct questions, and use as few words as possible.

Quote:
I guess my biggest issue is how should I let her know that the door is still open,


You don't. That would be the opposite from DBing. She left you. If anything, she needs to believe she quit the best guy she ever had, and put him on the market again.




http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2754120#Post2754120




Last edited by Cadet; 07/31/17 01:13 AM. Reason: Link

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
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